Today is not an easy conversation, but a necessary one. October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. In the United States, one out of four women will experience severe intimate partner physical violence in their lifetime and nearly one in ten women in the United States will be raped by an intimate partner during her lifetime.
Sue Parisher is on the show today courageously sharing her story of domestic abuse to create awareness as well as provide resources for those who might be in abusive situations currently or still trying to heal from one in the past.
Join us as we discuss:
- Overcoming self-doubt and fear
- Transforming from domestic violence victim to survivor
- Identifying and defeating the abuser’s lies
- The role of God’s Word in her healing
- Establishing boundaries
- Holding onto hope
- How can we best love domestic violence victims
Quotes:
“For 20 of those years, I was emotionally, sexually, and physically abused by my abusive husband.”
“Since this night in 2007 I have been working on my transformation from victim to survivor, navigating the long-term effects of trauma while growing closer to God.”
“Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over the other partner in an intimate relationship.”
“As a retired lieutenant colonel, I can personally attest that domestic violence does not discriminate. Anyone, regardless of race, age, socioeconomic status, or education can fall victim to these horrors.”
“One of the greatest lies: I am the only person stupid enough to allow my husband to do these things to me. Satan had me convinced that no one else would have ever allowed such horrors to have happened to them. I must have been so weak; how embarrassing!”
Another lie: my husband used to be a great guy; if I had been a better wife, mother, kept the kids quieter, kept the house cleaned up more, done the laundry faster, and stayed one step ahead of his desires the good guy I married would return. All this abuse was my fault for not doing what I should have been doing if I was a better wife.”
“The lie that kept me in the relationship for so long revolved around my belief that the abuse was God’s way of punishing me for sin’s I committed earlier in my life. I was an atheist during the abuse; somewhere along the way I justified the abuse as God’s way of punishing me; I was carrying around such guilt for my earlier sins.”
“My self-worth will never completely recover; it will always be damaged. It is a daily, constant struggle for me to prioritize taking care of myself, believe in my abilities, or trust that I am doing the right thing.”
“Second to God’s word, identifying and minimizing the effects of triggers provided to be an invaluable tool to overcoming fear during my recovery.”
“I needed to learn what my triggers were so I could take appropriate action to deactivate them. “
“An abuser’s lie contradicts God’s word. Whereas God’s word offers life, peace, calmness, and joy, an abuser’s lie causes confusion, uncertainty, unnecessary stress or anxiety, second guessing or extreme doubt. It’s a statement that causes someone to do something not because they want to, but instead out of fear.”
“Knowing God’s word provides me with a correct understanding of what to do in life, I could use God’s guidance as a countermeasure against my abusers lies. It would be years later until I could actually start trusting my own thoughts, but in order to do this, I had to take the first step by grasping on to something powerful enough to stand up to my abuser’s lies.”
“God has been an integral part of every step of my recovery. His word has provided me the guidance to know what to do as the Holy Spirit provided me with the strength to pull off the impossible.”
“God’s word provided me the ability to forgive: this allowed me to release the stronghold my abuser had over me. Forgiving my abuser was a decision of my free will; and it surely didn’t mean that I wasn’t hurt or I was going to allow my abuser to continue hurting me. Instead, forgiving my abuser allowed me to release the ugly feelings I was carrying around, turn them completely over to God, so God could release me from the pain of my past.”
“I had to trust, completely and 100%, that if I did what God was asking me to do, He would do what He says He would do. Knowing that I couldn’t fight my abuser on my own, this truth became critical to my believing that God would work it all out in the end.”
“My abuser abused me due to his perception of how a relationship should be; my abuse had nothing to do with anything I did or didn’t do; the abuse was unrelated to my actions, inactions, spoken words, or mistakes; my abuser’s behaviors were the result of his perception of our relationship; not due to anything I did or could change.”
Connect with Sue:
www.recoveringfromdomesticviolence.com
@sueparisher1
Resources mentioned:
Rock Bottom and Faithless: Defeating the Lies of Domestic Abuse with God’s Truth
Called to Peace
