There is a moment in every conversation that can change the whole relationship. A moment when you can either move toward the other person or away from them. Choose to break a negative cycle or continue it. Understand and be understood or remain confused and frustrated. It’s the “miracle moment.” And once you learn how to recognize and respond to it, it holds the power to help transform the relationships you have―at home, in love, and at work―into the ones you really want. In this episode and through her book The Miracle Moment, Nicole Unice helps you discover the practical tools to:
▫️Learn to respect and respond to your emotions without letting them control you
▫️Speak words that help―rather than hurt―the likelihood of your getting what you need
▫️Identify and keep yourself safe from toxic people
▫️Become comfortable setting and holding boundaries
▫️Be your best self even when you’re tempted to shut up, blow up, or give up
▫️Step into the space where miracles happen.
Your miracle moments are waiting for you: moments of honesty; moments of healing; moments of renewal and lasting change.
“The ongoing theme of my life has been can people really change? Can transformation really happen? Can we become more or different than the way we were raised?”
“There is a great gap between what we really want out of relationships and what we actually experience. I’m fascinated by that gap.”
“How do we get what’s inside of us outside of us?”
“The response is either to blow up, shut up, or give up.”
“What does it look like in my closest relationships to engage differently?”
“How do I be curious and not condemning? How can I be a scientist of my own life? How do I order my emotions without being controlled by them? How do I understand how this relates to my past so I can step forward into the person that I want to become?”
“You’re not going to change if you’re not moving forward toward a vision.”
“Start with who you want to be in your character so that when you’re in that hard moment you can make the right decision.”
“We’ve got to learn to name what the fears are.”
“Name the reality and the name of the story that we have interpreted from that reality.” Brene Brown
“Start with the facts rather than your interpretation of the data.”
“I am not as right as I think I am and I am not as wrong as I think I am.”
“We have the right to our opinion to share how we experienced something. I don’t have the right to call that reality.”
“Conflict helps me get in touch with how I’m really feeling.”
“The origin of nice is ignorant. It’s a go-along-to-get-along attitude. Love is not passive in Scripture. Love is an active word.”
“To not say no is an integrity issue. It steals the best of who I am from the people around me.”
“More is caught than taught.”
“Small is big.”
“You can be fully loving and fully truthful.”
“How the person responds is not your responsibility. What you do is your responsibility.”
“Validate and affirm first.”
“If you’re following Jesus and are never challenged, I would recommend you go back and spend more time with Jesus.”
“You can’t give away your most vulnerable parts to people who do not treat those parts carefully.”
“There have to be 3 things in a person in order to be able to have a truly intimate relationship with them: honesty, empathy, repentance.”
“This week’s love offering is to love yourself enough to be open to changing. It starts with believing that you’re fully loved.”
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More About Nicole:
Nicole is a sought-after speaker who has a down-to-earth style that allows even the largest gathering to feel conversational. Nicole is the author of several books focused on spiritual transformation and is a featured speaker through RightNow Media and Punchline. She is the host of two podcasts, including “How to Study the Bible” with over 100k downloads in the first season. Her work has been featured in Relevant, Catalyst and she’s been a guest on major podcasts such as The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey and Focus on the Family. She holds degrees from the College of William and Mary and from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. Nicole and her husband, Dave, live in Richmond, Virginia, with their three teens and two pups. Visit her online at nicoleunice.com.
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