“You’re holding up people’s deliverance,” my spiritual director said recently, in response to all the hesitancy and resistance I was feeling about offering myself to God’s work in the world. The words hit deep. They were both convicting and empowering.
Sometimes on the road to loving ourselves, we encounter negative thoughts that tell us that we’re unworthy of God’s affection, that we aren’t smart enough, that we aren’t good enough, or just that we aren’t enough.
Evening walks with my six-year-old daughter have quickly become a favorite way to unwind from the day and reset my stride. Seeing the wind blow through her bright blonde baby fine hair and feeling her sweaty little fingers wrap tightly with mine helps ground me. We kick rocks as we stroll along, take notice of the birds in the sky, occasionally assemble a roadside bouquet of wildflowers, and make chit chat of the day. It’s a joy to spend time with her bearing the heart and soul gift of being present with one another.
I spent the morning packing lunches, sorting through my kids’ toys, and loading the dishwasher. The day feels like nearly every other day. Sometimes, in the midst of the chores, I pause, look around at my life, and realize how it just feels so ordinary.
She sits on the floor, legs crossed. A toddler hangs over her shoulders, his tiny bare feet using her waistband as a foothold to support his climb. By now, her coffee is cold, and the one bite she’s taken from her muffin will be the last. I’m here to lead a Bible study for a group of young moms, and some have their kids with them.