Have you ever walked away from a conversation wondering what someone really thought about you? Or caught yourself replaying a situation in your mind, feeling hurt, offended, or misunderstood? Maybe you’ve even found yourself silently criticizing someone else while justifying your own perspective.
If we’re honest, judgment is something we all wrestle with.
On this week’s episode of The Love Offering Podcast, I had the joy of welcoming back my friend, author and speaker Shannon Popkin, to discuss her newest book, Kinda Judgy: Finding Mercy for Myself and Others in Six Stories of the Bible. Our conversation was both deeply convicting and incredibly freeing as we explored what Scripture teaches about judgment, mercy, and the transforming love of Christ.
The Hidden Cycle of Judgment
One of the most eye-opening insights Shannon shared is that we often feel judged and then become judgy in response.
Many of us carry a harsh inner critic. We scrutinize our own mistakes, shortcomings, and insecurities. Then, when someone says something that feels critical or disapproving, we assume they are thinking the same things we already believe about ourselves.
From that place of insecurity, judgment easily takes root.
Rather than extending grace, we build a case against others in our minds. We compare. We criticize. We justify ourselves. Yet underneath it all is often a heart longing for acceptance and reassurance.
What Jonah Reveals About Our Hearts
One of the biblical stories Shannon highlights in her book is the story of Jonah.
While many of us focus on Jonah’s disobedience, Shannon points out that the deeper issue was his contempt for the people of Nineveh. Jonah didn’t want God to show them mercy because he believed they didn’t deserve it.
As Shannon reflected on her own relationship with her late mother-in-law, she realized how easily contempt can quietly settle into our hearts. Sometimes it isn’t caused by a major offense. Sometimes it begins with a small misunderstanding or irritation that grows over time.
Contempt always says two things at once:
“That person is awful.”
“And I’m nothing like them.”
Yet the gospel reminds us that apart from Christ, we are all equally in need of mercy.
The Cross: Where Judgment and Mercy Meet
Perhaps the most powerful part of our conversation centered on the thief on the cross.
As Jesus hung on the cross, He was being mocked, ridiculed, and wrongly judged. Yet instead of responding with condemnation, He responded with mercy.
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
One thief continued mocking Jesus. The other recognized his own guilt, acknowledged Jesus as King, and asked to be remembered.
In response, Jesus extended mercy.
That moment beautifully illustrates the heart of the gospel. We all deserve judgment because we have all sinned. Yet Jesus willingly took our punishment upon Himself so that we could receive mercy instead.
The cross is where God’s perfect justice and perfect love meet.
God Is Both Judge and Merciful Savior
In today’s culture, we often want to focus only on God’s love while avoiding conversations about judgment. Yet Scripture teaches both.
God is a righteous Judge.
He takes sin seriously.
But He is also abundantly merciful.
Throughout Scripture, God repeatedly reveals Himself as compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. His desire is not simply that we understand His judgment but that we experience His mercy.
When we grasp the depth of God’s mercy toward us, it changes the way we view ourselves and others.
A Better Way Forward
If you’ve been carrying the weight of criticism—whether from others or from yourself—this episode offers hope.
The answer is not pretending sin doesn’t exist.
The answer is remembering that God’s mercy is greater.
Instead of standing over others in judgment, we can stand beside them as fellow recipients of grace.
Instead of condemning ourselves, we can rest in the finished work of Christ.
Instead of clinging to contempt, we can choose compassion.
As Shannon so beautifully reminds us, the more we experience God’s mercy, the more we become people who extend mercy.
And that’s exactly what love does.
Listen to the Episode
You can listen to my full conversation with Shannon Popkin on The Love Offering Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.
Connect with Shannon Popkin
Website: https://www.shannonpopkin.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shannonpopkin
Book: Kinda Judgy: Finding Mercy for Myself and Others in Six Stories of the Bible
Connect with Rachael Adams
Website: https://www.rachaelkadams.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachaeladamsauthor
Podcast: The Love Offering Podcast
Friend, may we be women who remember the mercy we’ve received and extend that same mercy to others. The world doesn’t need more judgment. It needs more people who reflect the compassionate heart of Jesus.
