Have you ever felt unseen or overlooked? Maybe you’ve wondered if anyone notices your efforts, your heart, or even your presence. If so, you are not alone.
This week on The Love Offering podcast, I had the joy of talking with Mary DeMuth about her newest book, The Most Overlooked Women of the Bible. In our conversation, Mary tenderly reminds us that feeling unseen is not a new struggle—many women in Scripture felt the very same way. Yet through their stories, we are invited to discover a profound truth: we are both seen and heard by the God who loves us.
Together, we explore questions like:
✨ Why do I feel invisible sometimes?
✨ How can I overcome feelings of rejection?
✨ What does it really mean to live a “seen” life in a world obsessed with recognition?
Mary’s words are like a balm to the soul—offering hope, healing, and a fresh reminder that you have a beautiful, meaningful place in God’s story.
I pray this conversation encourages you to rest in His love, find joy in who He created you to be, and live empowered to use your unique voice for His glory.
You are seen. You are heard. You are deeply loved.
Tune in to the episode HERE—I can’t wait for you to listen!
With love,
Rachael
Summary
In this episode of the Love Offering Podcast, host Rachael Adams speaks with author Mary DeMuth about her book, ‘The Most Overlooked Women of the Bible.’ They discuss the universal experience of feeling unseen, particularly among women, and explore biblical stories of women who have been overlooked. The conversation delves into the impact of social media on feelings of invisibility, practical ways to overcome the pain of being overlooked, and how God values women. Mary shares insights on living a seen life and encourages listeners to seek connection and healing in their relationships.
Takeaways
- Feeling overlooked is a universal experience.
- Writing about a topic often leads to personal testing.
- Social media can exacerbate feelings of being unseen.
- Biblical stories highlight the strength of overlooked women.
- God values women and their contributions.
- Healing comes from acknowledging feelings of being overlooked.
- It’s important to communicate feelings to those who may have hurt us.
- Living a seen life involves shifting focus to others.
- God’s love helps us to notice and love others.
- Community and connection are vital for overcoming feelings of invisibility.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Love and Overlooked Women
02:33 The Universal Experience of Feeling Unseen
05:31 Biblical Stories of Overlooked Women
09:55 Navigating Feelings of Being Overlooked
12:31 God’s Perspective on Women’s Value
16:56 Living a Seen Life
19:30 Closing Thoughts and Prayer
Transcript
Rachael Adams (00:01.068)
Welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I’m your host Rachel Adams, author of Everyday Prayers for Love, learning to love God, others, and even yourself. Each week we dive into meaningful conversations about how to live out the greatest commandment, loving God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. Whether through inspiring stories, practical tips, or Biblical truths, I hope to encourage you to love boldly, live faithfully, and reflect God’s love in your everyday life.
My guest today is Mary DeMuth. She is an author and speaker who loves to help readers and audiences live uncaged, freedom-infused lives. Her newest book is titled, The Most Overlooked Women of the Bible. Hi Mary and welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I’m so happy to have you again.
Mary DeMuth (00:50.266)
It’s lovely to see you again and thanks so much for having me on.
Rachael Adams (00:54.08)
So have you felt overlooked? Is this something that we can assume about you that you would want to write about this? maybe it’s something you’ve experienced yourself?
Mary DeMuth (01:05.108)
I think 100 % of us have felt that way before. And it’s interesting to me, every time I write a book, either during the writing of it or the release of it, I am tested in the subject matter. And last year, as I was writing this book, definitely, my husband and I both experienced that as we had to painfully leave a church and there was an overlooked component of it and it’s just interesting. It’s almost like the Lord says, you’re gonna write about this? I’m going to test you in it, or I’m just gonna be with you in the middle of it. It’s not like he’s mean, just like, you wrote about it, so I’m gonna punish you by testing you, more like you’ve learned a lot and let’s put your feet to the road to this.
Rachael Adams (01:51.798)
Yeah, you know, you would think me writing about love is something, it’s just going to be so happy, you know, everything’s, but honestly, I feel like I am walking through some really difficult areas to love people that are really unlovable right now. And so to continue to love them. God has loved me is a challenge and so I concur with your thoughts on that what we write about we definitely live out as well. And so we’re gonna just take a brief break to hear a word from today’s sponsor and when we come back we’re gonna talk to Mary about why so many of us feel unseen.
Rachael Adams (02:33.314)
Welcome back. As I mentioned before the break, many people struggle with feeling insane. So Mary, why do you think that this is such a universal experience, especially for women?
Mary DeMuth (02:44.19)
You know, I think it’s more and more universal in our digital age because we are in a world where we’re projecting images and we might get likes or interaction or comments on those images that we portray of ourselves, but that is not the same thing as being connected to people. And I think in a fame-obsessed culture, it’s only inevitable that most people feel overlooked because there are the special ones who are looked at and seen and that’s not good for them either because it’s not good for their souls but it’s also not good for us because we tend to think that it’s all the big stuff that matters when in reality our life is consisting of our relationships and being seen in the relationships that God has placed in our lives.
Rachael Adams (03:36.46)
Yeah. So in your new book you highlight ten women in the Bible who felt overlooked. So can you share a story of maybe one of these women that particularly resonates with you?
Mary DeMuth (03:48.23)
Yeah, I’d be happy to. It’s such a fun and difficult book to write because there’s a lot of women to choose from. I don’t think we realize that because we don’t hear them preached very often. yes, they’re overlooked in history and also just in life. One of the ones, or actually it’s a group. So it’s not just 10 women, there’s more because some of them are a group. And one of the groups is the Lofahad’s daughters and these were daughters during the time of Moses who, because they had no brother, they were going to lose their father’s line of inheritance. And they were very bold a couple times. It just wasn’t one time, but a couple times where they went to the leaders of the nation of Israel and said, what are we gonna do about this? And God’s ultimate heart was to preserve the line and to preserve them. And they ended up prevailing talk about being overlooked because if you didn’t preserve your father’s line, then you become extinct. they, out of their boldness and their deep knowledge of the will of God and the kindness of God and what, you know, the Jewish word hesed or in, if you say it right, it’s like hesed. They understood that that was God’s heart and they went after it even in a patriarchal society they asked these really bold questions and the Lord honored them.
Rachael Adams (05:16.942)
So you mentioned social media contributing to the feelings of being unseen. Do you have any biblical wisdom that can help us to navigate this? Because I know the women right now listening are like, yes, I have felt that way.
Mary DeMuth (05:31.592)
Wow, that’s such a good question. And I’m actually just personally wrestling with that right now. And I don’t feel like I have gotten a grip or handle on it. As an author, I have to be on social media, which makes it more difficult. Because there’s part of me that just wants to jump off. I think that would be my preference. And if you have the opportunity to do so, then do that. And text your friends instead of try to find them on social media. But I think there’s also this retraining of the mind that comes in reading the Bible and understanding that even though you may go through a season of being overlooked, God’s rod and his staff will comfort you. He’s gonna prepare a feast before you in the presence of your enemies. He is gonna lead you to still quiet waters. He’s gonna be a shepherd to your soul. And that that knowledge and that deep knowing can help you in seasons of feeling like you’re nobody or nothing or unseen.
Rachael Adams (06:35.042)
I think for me, Mary, in the times that I have felt overlooked, because I have I maybe still do actually as I’m even as we’re recording now. I think sometimes as I have looked back, I think it’s God’s protection over me sometimes. And when I really look knowing that He sees me and like it can keep us from pride. It can be connect us closer to Him because we’re more dependent on Him. There can be gifts maybe in being overlooked. Have you ever found that or experienced that yourself?
Mary DeMuth (07:09.296)
I have, and one of the women that I tackle, Jehoshua, is like that because she is relatively unknown, but she ends up preserving a line of kings, the Davidic line, by rescuing a child that’s going to be killed, Joash. And I think it’s because she wasn’t flashy or famous that no one would have suspected that she would have been the person to save and rescue that little boy. So I look back on my, to go back to the question you asked me, when I look back on my career, when I had my first book release in 04, 05, something like that, I am so grateful now that it never took off. Like it was an average sale and all that kind of stuff, but I wanted it to, and I hoped for it to, but I don’t think my soul was ready to carry the weight of success. And I’ve never really had a breakout book. I’ve been a mid-list author even after 50 something books and I’m grateful for it, because I have watched some of my friends in this circle, I have watched them shipwreck their faiths, I’ve seen some bad things happen at the Idol of Fame.
Rachael Adams (08:20.15)
Yes, I think I have too. It’s like we’re trying to build the Tower of Babel for ourselves almost and I heard a quote the other day and I wish I knew who to attribute it to but it says, I would rather be faithful instead of famous. And so it’s almost like shifting our perspective on what is success. But there is this other, you know, outside of social media or you know, your work and likes and all those things, just those personal relationships. We experience rejection, I think, and that can leave really deep wounds. So what are some practical ways that we can overcome the pain of being overlooked and find healing?
Mary DeMuth (09:01.256)
You know, I think a lot of us are afraid to talk to people about our own pain, especially if they’re the person that inflicted it. And I’ve seen a lot of people, and I’ve done it too, you you go down the ghosting path of, they just don’t like me or I don’t like being overlooked by them. I’m just gonna walk away from them. When the harder thing and the more mature thing to do is to tenderly start asking some questions.
Hey, I just wanna let you know that I really wanna be a part of your life and that action hurt my feelings. You probably didn’t intend it to, but let’s talk about that. Assuming the best about the other person and being willing to work through it. Now there will be some relationships that are unsafe and you might put your toe in and then you get burned and you know to walk away because it’s unsafe, but at least try and see, you know, by the strength of the Lord, because none of us can do that on our own strength, it’s too stressful and most of us don’t like to do that. If you do, it’s a little weird. yeah, ask questions and be curious. I think having curiosity is a really helpful trait.
Rachael Adams (10:12.654)
I think you make a good point that there are some times when people hurt us intentionally, but I think on most occasions if we’re being overlooked or hurt by somebody it’s probably unintentional. They probably aren’t even aware that they’re they’re doing it, but your feelings are still valid in feeling the way that you do. And so we’re going to continue this conversation with Mary, but we’re going to take a brief break to hear a word from today’s sponsor, and when we come back we’re going to talk about how God sees and values women.
Rachael Adams (10:45.186)
Welcome back. So Mary, in your research in writing, did you discover anything surprising about how God sees and values women?
Mary DeMuth (10:53.778)
Well, she’s not covered in this particular book, but I’ve covered her in other books that I’ve written. But the woman at the well is a really good example of Jesus revealing how much he loves women and how much he dignifies them. Not to mention that a woman is the first person to see the resurrection. There’s all sorts of crazy, amazing things. But the woman at the well in particular, she and Jesus have the longest theological discussion recorded in the gospels of any human being with Jesus. It’s a long conversation. And that to me shows that the Lord of the universe values women and values them having theological conversations and that we are valid in asking, know, well, what about on this hill? Are we supposed to worship here or there? I mean, she had these great questions and she was knowledgeable and broken and yet dignified and listened to and both ask questions and have this interaction and it just proves to me that we are worth receiving the attention of the Almighty. We see it in Genesis in Haggar and she names God Elroy, the God who sees and she’s just a mess too. She leaves twice and is heartbroken and broken hearted and God just totally visits her. And so that to me is just a strong indication is that the Lord made a man and woman in his image. We both have the image of God in us and we’re both worthy of conversation, love, connection, all of those things.
Rachael Adams (12:30.798)
Absolutely. That’s so good. So what do you think that it means to actually live a seen life? Like how does God’s perspective on our worth differ from the worlds?
Mary DeMuth (12:42.772)
Yeah, so after I met Christ at 15, I definitely still had a lot of childhood wounds. And so for a long time, was the look at me, look at me, look at me, find me, see me, notice me. And I, you know, through a lot of healing and a lot of prayer and a lot of counseling and all of those things, I’m morphing into more of a person of look at you, let me notice you, let me ask you questions. And that I think comes through the act of being healed of some of the past wounds that you have that caused you to walk into a room and want everyone to notice you and see you versus walking into a room with Jesus eyes on and asking, how can I benefit the people in this room? How can I pray for them? How can I love them?
Rachael Adams (13:32.526)
That brings tears to my eyes because what a beautiful perspective shift. That’s that is so so good So Mary for the person the woman listening today who maybe feels invisible or forgotten what encouragement would you give her today?
Mary DeMuth (13:47.838)
First, I would say you’re not alone and this is not a unique experience. I mean, we all feel like our experience is super unique. A lot of human beings go through this. And because of that, it’s really important when you feel overlooked to ask, to go to your friends and to go to people who love you and that you know that love you.
I texted my three kids last night and I was just going through some stuff and I just told them I loved them so much and I was so glad that I knew them and so proud of who they were becoming and they texted me back and said similar nice things back. But when you’re lonely and you’re feeling sad, going to those principle relationships and just saying, I’m tender today, I just feel a little lost, I feel unseen and I just need to know that there’s some folks out there that really are pulling for me.
Rachael Adams (14:39.02)
Yeah. So when you wrote this book, it wasn’t just for you to shed light. And maybe in some ways it was. Like, just, these women are overlooked. I just want to share them so that you can see them. You know, what really is your hope for the women after they…
Mary DeMuth (14:53.672)
Yeah, so one nice thing about it is at the end of every chapter, and there’s 10 chapters, there’s questions for discussion. And so this is also a really easy 10 week Bible study that you can lead your friends through. It’s very bottom shelf. And in the book, what I do is I use my fiction hacks. I’m also a novelist and I write out the stories as close to the biblical narrative as possible, but in flesh them a bit so that you can kind of come away going, my gosh, these are real people with real problems and real issues. And then there’s the section that is the theological section, talks about what does all this mean in the context of the Bible and the story arc of the Bible. And then the final part is, what’s this mean for you when you’re overlooked? What can you learn from these incredible women who have walked before you? And so that’s my hope is that people walk away with some footholds when they’re hurting, but also have a tool to bring their friends through a very interesting Bible study of women they probably haven’t heard of and to provide encouragement when we’re down.
Rachael Adams (15:55.224)
Yeah, yeah, and we all need that no matter what age we are. You know, as I’m thinking about this, I think that teens would really even like this. You you think about those middle school and high school years when you’re just like, you know, there’s the popular group and then there’s just me. And I don’t know that we ever grow out of that, but it’s like there’s always a popular group and then there’s me, you know? And so I think that this would be a valuable resource for all and I just wanted to also praise you. Last year I did your 90-day Bible reading challenge and I would encourage everybody listening if you have not done that. It was transformative in my understanding of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and just to read it that quickly is something I had never done before and I will do again.
Mary DeMuth (16:46.324)
I’m so glad. It has changed my life in so many ways. And like you said, I now understand the story arc and the narrative of the Bible like I never had before.
Rachael Adams (16:56.494)
Yeah, yeah. So we’ll make sure to include that in the links today in the show notes, but I would love to know if there is a biblical concept of love that you think applies to this topic today.
Mary DeMuth (17:08.796)
Yeah, I think it’s kind of what I hinted at earlier, which is we love because he first loved us. And so when we feel overlooked, it’s a really nice opportunity to go to the Lord and say, I feel overlooked. you look at me? Will you notice me and show me that you notice me? And resting in that when things are hard. So God’s love then informs us. It also helps us, God’s love helps us to look at those times when we’re broken as a cautionary tale. So when I’m overlooked by someone else, I can use that as, my gosh, I really don’t like that feeling. So therefore, Lord, transform me into a person that notices others, because I know how painful it is not to be noticed.
Rachael Adams (17:54.68)
Yeah, absolutely. And just, you know, on the idea of just loving ourselves, knowing that God loves us the way that we are and He doesn’t overlook us. That just does something to your self-confidence, I think. And that’s security that you’re not looking for everybody else to give you the validation and affirmation that only Christ can give. So, I would also like to know is there something that you are loving right now?
Mary DeMuth (18:23.252)
I have been drinking a lot of market spice tea. It’s been cold and it came originally from the Pike Place Market in Seattle where I’m from originally. And it is a cinnamon tea that has no sugar in it, but it tastes sweet. And so it’s a lovely thing to have on a cold afternoon and they even have decaf available.
Rachael Adams (18:46.24)
Okay, well I am a decaf girl and so I’ll have to look so you can just get it online anywhere. Okay, awesome. We’ll link that too then. Alright, well know Mary I want to stay connected with you. I’m sure that listeners want to so tell us how we can best do that.
Mary DeMuth (19:02.302)
Yeah, they can find me at marydemuth.com. I have a daily podcast called Pray Every Day that you can find on there. And then also if anyone’s gone through some church hurt and they’re feeling overlooked by their church, they can go to marydemuth.com slash church hurt. And I give a checklist inventory, because I think a lot of people, they have this vague feeling of hurt, but they don’t have like a list of things that they’re going through. So it will help you to see where you’re being overlooked.
Rachael Adams (19:30.638)
Yeah, that sounds like a valuable resource. Well, since you just shared that your podcast is about prayer, would you do us the honor of praying for us as we close?
Mary DeMuth (19:39.996)
Lord Jesus, thank you for another day of life. Thank you for this opportunity that I have just to talk about how great you are and how good you are and how much you love us. Thank you that you are the God who sees and I pray for the person listening today who feels unseen. And I pray that you would supernaturally show them that you see them this week in some sort of them shaped way this week. Lord, I pray for new insight in knowing that human beings are awesome and they can fill us up to an extent but it’s you who we need to go to to fill us completely up and overflowing. And we just need that this week. The word says that the nearness of God is my good. Would you just come near, I pray in Jesus’ amen.
Rachael Adams (20:22.598)
Amen. Well thank you. I feel seen by you and I see you and I pray everyone listening today feels seen and known by God as well and loved. So thanks for joining us.
Mary DeMuth (20:32.244)
Thanks.
Rachael Adams (20:35.17)
Thank you so much for listening to the Love Offering Podcast. I hope today’s conversation encouraged and inspired you to love God, love others, and even love yourself a little bit more. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend and leave a review. helps others to find the show and spreads the message of love even further. To connect with me, visit me on my website at RachelKAdams.com. While you’re there, be sure to download the Love Offering Calendar, a free resource filled with simple daily ways to love those around you. Don’t forget to pick up a copy of my new book, Everyday Prayers for Love, Learning to Love God, Others, Even yourself and Mary’s book, The Most Overlooked Women of the Bible. They are available now wherever books are sold and we pray they are meaningful resources for your faith journey. A special thank you to Life Audio for supporting this podcast and making it possible. To find more great podcasts visit LifeAudio.com. Thanks again for joining us today. Until next time, let’s make our lives an offering of love.
*Transcript is AI generated.
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