The Rhythms of Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion by Melissa L. Johnson

by Rachael Adams | Jul 27, 2023 | The Love Offering Guest Blog Series

Among the numerous gifts that came from experiencing God’s grace and presence in such an embodied way was learning the rhythms of self-acceptance and self-compassion. As a bona fide people pleaser, I had the tendency to frantically run around like a chicken with its head cut off to be there for others, to try to look perfect, to try to be perfect.

The problem is these tendencies toward pursuing social acceptance and perfection had also somehow seeped into my relationship with God. Just as I felt about my acceptance by others, I truly felt God’s acceptance of me was dependent on what I did, so often wondering if I was enough. Quite honestly, I don’t think I even realized I believed that, but my frantic and flurried actions revealed how fickle I assumed God’s acceptance to be.

That’s why that invitation to simply be still and breathe in the yoga studio was such magic. In a very real, tangible way, I could allow myself to let go. Let go of self-judgments and agendas. Let go of shoulds. Let go of perfect. And letting go in my body, allowing physical tension to be released, allowed me to settle into the present moment in a real way.

In the wholeness of who I was body, mind, and spirit, I wasn’t striving but abiding. Abiding in stillness, peace, and grace. And I didn’t have to do anything to earn it or strive for it. It simply was.

So like all the rest, I learned that self-compassion is an embodied experience. As I settled into accepting and resting in God’s grace, stillness, and peace, as I abided in these things, I found it easier to accept the fullness of who I was. Because the love of my creator was so palpable within and around me, it only made sense to internalize that grace and love. The reality that surrounded me assured me that I was entirely and perfectly loved; it was too strong a force to resist its truth.

Put another way, it’s impossible to stand in the rain and not get wet. It’s impossible to not love and accept yourself in the presence of Love itself.

And so I began to see myself with new eyes—as the daughter of the very author of life, of God himself. All of life’s beauty and goodness are drawn up in his Life, and so, it stands to reason, there must be a good measure of that goodness and beauty within me. I just needed a little help to remember it was there.

And funny enough, the more I sat in that stillness in the following days and months, experiencing God’s presence in the wholeness of who I was, the more I noticed it was more likely that God’s Life, in all its loving-kindness, gentleness, and patience, would pour out from me and into the lives of others. God’s compassion toward me allowed me to internalize that compassion toward myself, and I was then able to offer that compassion to others from an authentic, grounded place deep within me.

While shame had accused me of not being enough, God’s grace and presence told me I was more than enough. Because of the depths he went to, I could touch and live in that grace. And I could rest easy in that.

About the Author:

Melissa L. Johnson is a marriage and family therapist, as well as a spiritual director. She is also the founder of Impossible Beauty, a blog and podcast dedicated to redefining beauty as “the life of God at work in us and among us.” Melissa lives near Minneapolis, Minnesota, with her husband. Learn more at impossible-beauty.com.