Have you ever had one of those moments when you stop and think, “How did I miss that?” The holy moment. The gentle nudge. The quiet work of God hidden inside an ordinary day. That’s exactly why I couldn’t wait to share this week’s episode of The Love Offering Podcast with you.
I’m joined by the hilarious and heartfelt Cynthia Yanof to talk about her book How’d I Miss That?—a refreshing reminder that God is just as present in the small, awkward, everyday moments as He is in the big ones.
In our conversation, Cynthia invites us to laugh (a lot), exhale, and see our lives with fresh eyes as we talk about:
- Why it’s not just the “big” moments God uses to bring light into our homes and communities
- Living each day with grace, forgiveness, and generosity—for others and ourselves
- Finding extraordinary faith in very ordinary places
- And yes… even the holy moments that happen with spinach in our teeth and our shirt tucked into our Spanx
This episode is for every woman who once thought she’d change the world—and now mostly changes the toilet paper roll (again). It’s a gentle, joyful reminder that tiny acts of faith, sown daily, matter deeply to God.
So grab a Diet Coke, pull up a chair, and join us. I think you’ll feel seen, encouraged, and reminded that nothing in your life is wasted—not even the small stuff.
You can listen to the episode wherever you listen to podcasts, and I’d love to hear what resonates most with you.
With love,
Rachael
Summary
In this episode of the Love Offering Podcast, host Rachael Adams welcomes Cynthia Yanof to discuss her book ‘Did I Miss That?’ They explore themes of love, kindness, and the importance of community, emphasizing how small acts of generosity can have significant impacts. Cynthia shares personal stories, including her experiences with gas pump confessions and the importance of friendship and forgiveness. The conversation highlights the need to listen to God’s call in our everyday lives and the significance of living with intention and grace.
Takeaways
Generosity and kindness are often overlooked in our busy lives.
Small acts can have significant kingdom impact.
Community and friendship are essential for spiritual growth.
Forgiveness is crucial for maintaining deep relationships.
We often focus too much on big moments and miss the small ones.
Listening to God’s voice can guide our actions.
Every day is an opportunity to start anew and make a difference.
Love should be the foundation of all our actions.
We need to be intentional about our family dynamics.
God can use our small efforts for mighty purposes.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Love Offering Podcast and Guest
01:07 The Inspiration Behind ‘Did I Miss That?’ Book
03:01 Gas Pump Confessions: A Story of Generosity
06:50 Drive Through Obsessions: The Hidden Sins
10:47 Mustard Seed Moments: Small Acts with Big Impact
15:45 The Importance of Forgiveness and Community
19:32 Unity in Community
20:30 Balancing Family and Ministry
24:22 Intentional Living and Listening to God
29:00 Embracing Grace and New Beginnings
31:42 The Power of Love in Action
32:29 Fun and Connection through Games
Transcript (AI Generated):
Rachael Adams (00:01.996)
Welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I’m your host, Rachel Adams, author of Everyday Prayers for Love, learning to love God, others, and even yourself. Each week, we dive into meaningful conversations about how to live out the greatest commandment: loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving your neighbors as yourself. Whether through inspiring stories, practical tips, or biblical truths, I hope to encourage you to love boldly, live faithfully, and reflect God’s love in your everyday life. Today I’m excited to welcome Cynthia Yanov to the show. Cynthia is a wife, mom of three, writer, and the host of the Mesmerized and Sidetracked podcast. She’s known for her quick wit and storytelling, and for her ability to speak biblical truth straight into the middle of everyday chaos, with equal parts humor and heart. In her new book, Did I Miss That? Gas Pump Confessions: drive-through obsessions and figuring out what really matters. Cynthia pulls back the curtain on the gloriously imperfect moments of modern life and reminds us that small, faithful pivots can have a significant kingdom impact when we live with compassion, generosity, and a willingness to be interrupted. Cynthia, welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I’m so happy to have you again.
Cynthia Yanof (01:12.295)
Rachel, thanks for having me back. It’s great to be here.
Rachael Adams (01:15.938)
So your title is super unique. I mean, it’s a mouthful, but it’s so eye-catching and something that we can all relate to. So I’ve got to kind of know, like, the backstory of this title and this book.
Cynthia Yanof (01:29.422)
Yeah. And so if you see the cover of this book, it’s like a mouth looking in the mirror, and there’s like spinach in the teeth. And it’s that whole concept of like, how did I miss that? Like, was I not paying attention? And I think just as a girl who grew up in a Christian home, my entire life, I feel like I’ve always known the Lord, I’ve always known the Bible, like not not not in a way of like pat my back, but just kind of that’s my normal. And then, at some point, I kind of looked back on something, like, in my 40s. And I’m like, wait, how did I miss it? Like generosity matters, kindness matters. Like, not that I wasn’t kind, but I could have done better. The way I love people matters. The way I speak of people matters. Like these day-in, day-out practicalities, I feel like I missed it over and over again. And so that was kind of the play on that, you know, like how did I miss that? the drive through confessions and gas pump, you know, all of it was just kind of some of the stories. I love a good story because I feel like I can just say to you, like, hey, you guys, we need to be generous. And you’d be like, yeah, we do. But then I could tell you a story of generosity, and it’s probably going to stick with you. And we’re both going to laugh about it. And I think if we can laugh about something, tell a story around it, and even, dare I say, admit our deficits, it really opens up a world of speaking the truth to each other. And I think that matters. And so that’s kind of the background of it. Just hopefully a book that’s really funny and very real and also points out the things that you probably already know, but you just miss it sometimes.
Rachael Adams (02:55.62)
Yeah, well, I can’t wait to hear some of these stories and laugh a little bit with you today. But we’re going to take a brief break to hear a word from today’s sponsor. And when we come back, we’re going to talk about some of the things that we might be missing.
Welcome back. I’m talking with Cynthia Yanov about her book, How Did I Miss That? Gas Pump Confessions, Drive Through Obsessions, and Figuring Out What Really Matters. So, okay, so give us one of these gas pump confessions. Share that story with us today.
Cynthia Yanof (03:24.01)
Yeah, well literally I was going to speak at an event, that’s where this came from and I, a lot of times when I go and speak at different parts of the country or whatever, my friends will go with me and I used to be naive enough to think my friends would love to hear me speak but it turns out they just think I’m incompetent when it comes to travel, logistics and so it was one of these particular trips. I was going to Houston, and I live in Dallas. So just a couple of hours away. And so I told my friends, like, “You guys, I’m fine.” I do not need an escort to get there. And so I stopped at Buc-ee’s. Now, Rachel, do you know what Buc-ee’s is? Do y’all have Buc-ee’s? Okay, guys, this is not just a gas station, right? Like this is the Mecca of all things. Like, I don’t know, bacon grease that you can give apparently as a Christmas gift, it says to jams, to barbecue sandwiches. Anyway, so I was so excited. I stopped at Buc-ee’s to put gas in my car when this woman approached me with her daughter and asked for help. And I was like, I don’t have any cash on me, like literally, I never do. And they were like, no, we just need food. And so I’m like, okay, so I go inside, and I’m thinking the normal things like, is this a scam? Are they gonna take my kidney? Like, what is this gonna look like? And so finally I’m like, whatever, I’ve got to get to this event. So I just load up some food, go, hand it to them, and they thank me. And so I get in the car, like, I gotta go. Like this is a big speaking event. And I pull off, and I hear the loudest crashing noise. And I didn’t like the kind of pull-off. Like, I mean, I really, really pulled off. Like I was all the way down the way. And I look back and realize I never took the pump out, the little hose out, and I dismembered it from the entire pump. The hose was hanging out, and so I’m horrified, and I have one of these moments. I don’t know if y’all have had these where it’s like junior high, where you fall down, and you’re like I can either jump up and act as if nothing happened, or like I’m gonna lie there and wail and I was like okay I’m gonna act as if nothing happened, so I parked my car. I don’t know why I didn’t drive back. I take the pump out, walk all the way back, put it back in there, and this is where it gets really weird, you guys. Then I start typing on the screen. I don’t know what I’m typing. Am I doing some international business over here? I don’t know what I’m doing. So I got in a car and made it to the event. But I realized that day that sometimes we’re so focused on what’s going on in a platform. And I realize not everyone that’s listening is probably most people who aren’t speaking on a platform. But we all have our platform things. And we get so focused on the platform that we miss that God’s working at the pump.
Cynthia Yanof (05:55.948)
And like, there was a need to be met there. And I have heartedly met that need for that woman, but I probably could have slowed down and really appreciated that God’s in that just as much as he’s in the platform and sometimes more than that. And so that was kind of the gist behind that is that there are so many times that we’re racing after those platform moments, those big moments that we think are the things, and we miss these little places where God’s saying, step into this, this matters, this is significant.
Rachael Adams (06:22.05)
Yeah, yeah, I have so many moments like that, and a real quick plug for Bucees. Have you ever tried the beaver nuggets? My gosh.
Cynthia Yanof (06:28.238)
Yes, we’ve had the Beaver Nuggets. Thank you. That’s a sponsor break for Bucky’s. I mean, they haven’t sponsored this. But we need to Yeah, the Beaver Nuggets. And what are they? They’re kind of like, what do you like in them to?
Rachael Adams (06:41.148)
I mean, it’s almost like a caramel popcorn, but lighter, fluffier, do you think? That’s not a good sales pitch.
Cynthia Yanof (06:52.014)
They have a touch of a cardboard taste in my very humble opinion, but my kids eat them up. So yes.
Rachael Adams (06:59.684)
They’re addictive. Maybe don’t. Maybe this is to tell you don’t get them because you will just, I mean, I get like the, well, I won’t even say, and I eat it all. Like the size of the bag. I mean, it’s just so addictive. But okay, since we’re on the topic of food, let’s talk about your drive-through obsessions. Where does this fall into the line of the story?
Cynthia Yanof (07:09.902)
Love it.
Cynthia Yanof (07:20.396)
Well, yeah, and I don’t even know that there’s a huge spiritual point to this, you guys, other than I kind of make the joke about how, you know, I’m not trying to be controversial. I’m not trying to stir up trouble, but I want to be honest with you guys, as people who read my books and listen to me, I want to be honest and let you know that I like Arby’s. Okay, and that’s very controversial because who in the world likes Arby’s? No offense if you’re the owner of Arby’s and you happen to be listening. But, and I always talk about how I don’t go very often, but like twice a year, and you know, I go to a dark alley and a part of town I’ve never been in and eat my curly fries and my beef and cheddar. And then I throw away the trash as if I have committed a heinous crime. And so I kind of joke just about how I like Arby’s, but the gist of it is that we all have those things that we do that don’t see the light of day. And my Arby’s habit truly is just a Cynthia Arby’s habit, but there are so many things that we do that are similar in nature that we kind of blow off, not a big deal, nobody needs to know. When it comes to the things that are sin, like right, like when the things that we’re hiding, the way that we think about people, talk about people, maybe what we’re watching on TV, the things like, they’re not just a Cynthia thing, like our sin impacts the people around us. First and foremost, impacts our relationship with the Lord. And I’m not coming from a place of like, let’s all feel horrible and guilty. But I’m coming from a place of thinking, and as a girl who’s missed it, hence the title.
How’d I miss that? Is that my sin impacts a lot of people around me, especially when I think it doesn’t? And I’ve had a long history of thinking like the really bad things out there that other people are doing, like, ooh, that’s bad. Thank goodness I don’t do that. Well, listen, I got a few things I’m doing myself that every day that I think are impacting, I know are impacting, it has this ripple effect. And I would just say, like, let’s be honest, like the Lord wants us to be holy and we fall short. And that’s why we have His grace and righteousness, right? Like, there’s no guilt in that, but we have this gift, and we’ve got to hone in on it. And we’ve got to be honest about it. Like, you can’t change a behavior unless you’re honest about it being a problem. And so I just encourage you, and I encourage myself every day to be like, how am I talking about people?
What am I filling my mind with? What are the things every day that I’ve gotten accustomed to that I’ve decided aren’t that big of a deal? That’s a Cynthia thing. Those are actually affecting my family, my spouse, my community, and, obviously, my relationship with the Lord. And so that’s kind of the joke, as I sneak through Arby’s, and Arby’s really is probably pretty innocuous, but many of the things I sneak around are not innocuous. So that was kind of the gist of that chapter.
Rachael Adams (09:57.519)
So I actually do like Arby’s, and I love the curly fries and the mozzarella sticks. So, for those who haven’t tried them, they’re pretty delicious too. obviously I’m a foodie, Bucky’s and Arby’s. Super classy, yeah, just keeping it real, that’s true. Well, you know, but I know on a deeper level, I think that you’re so right. We are often tempted to hide things that really matter to God, and thank goodness the Holy Spirit will gently and softly convict us to make different decisions. And so I love that you’re bringing this subject to light because I think in our society and in our culture today, oftentimes it’s the big shiny things, the numbers, many things can distract us and tempt us to find our value and our significance. But truly, I think God is saying, “Look, you’re totally missing it.” These are the things that I really value, and that really matter for eternity. So talk to us a little bit about how you’ve seen God use something really small, like the gas station example, in really bigger ways than you even realized at the time.
Cynthia Yanof (11:20.748)
Yeah, well, here’s the deal. Jesus talks about the mustard seed, right? And that doesn’t really translate for us, but he talks about the power of the mustard seed, and that’s the kingdom of God. The smallest things become huge, plentiful, and bountiful. And in the time of the Bible, the Jewish people would have understood that because there were tiny mustard seeds all along the path they walked. And Jesus would be pointing to these fields just filled with these enormous mustard seeds that look like trees, basically.
And I think that’s it with us, I think that Jesus is saying, like, there’s mustard seed moments all around you. We have these opportunities and these small things, and in kingdom impact, they are big things. And it’s so hard to see because we have this limited view, we’re influenced by culture, and we’re influenced by our own aspirations and dreams. I think about it, I’ll give you an example. I think about this woman, Peggy Powell, who passed away just recently.
But Mike and I, my husband and I, we had some very dear friends, very strong believers, some of our very best friends, and the husband got caught up in white collar crime. Talk about an example of thinking that something wasn’t going to get caught or that it wasn’t going to impact anyone else. Well, he did get caught, and he spent 10 years in federal prison, and he had two small children and a wife. And so it was just a horrible situation. But I had asked some people at our church to pray. Obviously, it’s devastating. And this woman, Peggy Powell, I find out that I don’t really even know, know the name, but don’t really know her from our church. Well, she apparently started writing a letter to our friend in prison every single day. Never missed a day, okay? He served nine of the 10 years. And every single day she wrote him a letter. And sometimes it was just like a quick little note, sometimes a newspaper clipping, but then they got to know each other, and he could write back, and they started memorizing scripture back and forth. And so he tells us he’s out of prison now and his family’s intact.
And he says that changed my life. And I got the opportunity to ask her one time, like, what motivates us, Peggy? And she’s like, well, practically, I just know that inmates who get mail, like they are treated better by the guards. But she said, more important than that, that I wanted him to know there’s no condemnation in Christ, and that his best days are ahead of him. And so something as simple as grabbing a pen, putting a stamp on it, and doing it every single day, faithfully, changed his life. But more than that, now that she’s in heaven, I believe she fully can see what we can’t even see. But I believe there will be generations upon generations that will be changed because of the simple act of that woman. His family is intact, his family is faith-filled, and there will be grandkids and great-grandkids and down the line. I believe there will be a generational impact from the faithfulness of one woman who returned to the original point, like, it isn’t the platform that matters, right? It’s in that moment at the pump, writing the note, those things are significant. And here’s the deal: we get caught up in thinking that just because we don’t see the results, it doesn’t matter. In the book, I talk about how we’re bamboozled. You think about the bamboo plant, you plant a seed, you water it, and it can be five years, and there’s no growth. And then, one day, it can grow to three feet. Well, during that time, there’s a whole root system that’s formed, right? And that’s what is sustaining the growth that will come. And I think that’s what happens: we get bamboozled and think that I can’t see anything. I’m watering something every day, but I didn’t see any growth; nothing’s happening. And God is laying a root system for things with eternal impact, but sometimes it happens at the speed of a seed. And so that’s my encouragement to us: like, listen, every time you see a stamper, receive a letter, or, mean, that is talk about antiquated. When’s the last time you wrote a letter? I don’t mean I don’t write letters, but something as small as that has significance for generations to come. And I believe the Lord will honor that. And I think that is the highest and the worthiest of things we can do, but they just don’t get you an Instagram post. They’re not gonna get some huge attaboy. Nobody’s gonna carry you around on their shoulders and be like, look at that. And so that’s my encouragement, yeah, these little tiny places the Lord’s offering us opportunities into, they’re significant, and they matter even if they don’t seem like it in the moment.
Rachael Adams (15:27.394)
Yeah, well, I told you this before we hit record: this is not a shameless plug. I wrote a book called A Little Goes a Long Way, and it’s 52 days to a significant life. And so I just feel such a kind heart toward you on this subject, exactly what you were just talking about. I mean, Jesus walked everywhere that he went. He talked to one woman beside the well. He let one woman wash his feet with her hair, and he praised her. He praised the one leper who came back and said, thank you. I mean, this is what the God, you know, Jesus, Emmanuel God with us, that’s how he lived his life. And granted he did great miracles and did amazing things too, but he, if nothing was too insignificant for the savior of the world, there’s nothing that’s too insignificant for me and for me. And so, I just love this topic so much, and I have a lot more to say on it, but we’re gonna take another brief break to hear a word from today’s sponsor, and when we come back, we are gonna talk about what really matters most.
Welcome back. are talking with Cynthia Yanov about her book, How’d I Miss That? And so you write candidly about forgiveness, friendship, and offense. So why do you think that staying insulted or unforgiving is so spiritually dangerous, even when it feels justified?
Cynthia Yanof (16:44.686)
Well, because I think we all need a deep community. We’re looking for deep community. Like, I don’t know, Rachel, about you, but I’ve never had someone like come up to me, like, especially a woman, it’s like, you know, I just have too many friends. I have too deep a community. Like, no, everybody wants friendship. And when I’m asked to speak, I think I’m most often asked to speak about friendship. And it used to be that I would have this, like, here’s a how-to on friendship. And I’ve decided we don’t need a how-to. We need a why-to on friendship.
Cynthia Yanof (17:09.806)
Why does friendship matter? Why does deep community matter? Why does it matter to show up authentic and real? Like biblically speaking, why is this significant? And, and I could talk for days about this, but let’s just net it out with the passage in the Bible of the paralytic that had the four friends that carried him to Jesus. And, right, they get there, and they can’t get the door. So they cut a hole in the roof. If you went to vacation Bible school, you have acted this out or felt boarded this like 3000 times, and they lower him in, Jesus ends up healing him because of the faith of his friends, right? And if Jesus is healing people because of the faith of their friends, then your circle matters, your community matters. But let me just say this, listen, you may not be paralyzed, you probably aren’t, listener, but if you are not physically paralyzed, that’s great, but you are spiritually paralyzed. Every single one of us is on that mat. Every single one of us is spiritually paralyzed in some regard when we care more about our comfort than our calling and when we are not willing to be loving, not willing to go in parts of town that we’re not used to, like all these places, like we have a spiritual paralysis and we need people that are carrying the mat and they are setting us before Jesus and likewise we need to be carrying the mat for other people. And so the story, it’s easy to look at that and just kind of be like, okay, well, I guess I would carry the mat. Well, no, you’re on the mat too. And so we’ve got to have these tight relationships, but with tight relationships comes conflict, right? And I think one of the ways that we set down the mat early, like think about those guys. Like, if they had gotten there and halfway to taking their friend for Jesus, they’re like, you know what, bro? Like, I actually think the reason you’re paralyzed is your fault. I’m gonna set this down. Or like what if they were like, bro, you know what? You’ve been mouthy today; I’m over it. Like I’m putting the mat down. Well, that passage says people knew Jesus. They saw the miracle, and everyone was encouraged by Jesus’ healing of this man. That doesn’t happen if the mat gets set down.
Rachael Adams (18:48.258)
Yeah.
Cynthia Yanof (19:05.193)
And that’s the same thing with us. We need friendships that point people back to Jesus, encourage people, and make them want more of what we’ve got because of these deep relationships. But we’re setting the mat down because we get offended, because we get our feelings hurt, because we don’t assume the best. And so I just believe that, and I’m the worst offender, but we’ve got to reconcile well in our relationships. And in the New Testament, it talks about, like, you know, Jesus says, if you have a problem with a friend, don’t give your gift to the altar. He’s talking to believers. Like, no, like set down your gift and go find the person and reconcile. And I would just say, listen, I’ve been the worst offender at being too busy and doing all the God things and the church things. And I needed to set down the gift and go reconcile. And I’ve had a really hard relationship where that happened recently. She actually was the one who kind of reconciled with me. And I just think back, and I’m like, gosh. Why did I let something small become something huge? And why didn’t I make the phone call, send the text, or make the apology? And I just wish I were the person before she came to me, the one I am after on the other side of it. And so just want to encourage you, like maybe this is the word today for someone like.
The enemy wins if we’re divided. And that’s what he’s going for. And so we’ve got to let some of this stuff go. Are there some toxic friendships in some places where we need boundaries, of course? But I’m talking about the day in the day out, where we just get a little passive-aggressive, we don’t respond to the text. They left me out of this. All like you guys, we just got to let some of that stuff go. We’ve got to send the text apologizing. And we’ve got to come together as a solid, unified group of people who care about what’s significant, and we’re gonna do it in community.
Rachael Adams (20:53.634)
Yeah, no, absolutely. think, you know, often we are the paralyzed friend, or we are the friend that needs to make the extra effort to climb the roof and figure out a way to bring our friend to Jesus. I love that so much. And so we know that community matters, friendships matter. Talk to us about family. We’ve got our, if people are married, if they are moms and parenting children, you know, I think when I look up on my life and you’ve mentioned this and we kind of alluded to it, it’s one thing to have a public ministry, but if my home life is a wreck and a mess, that’s my number one priority apart from my relationship with Jesus. And so talk to us about making sure that we’re being intentional with our family relationships.
Cynthia Yanof (21:37.612)
Yeah, it’s so easy to overlook him. I think it can go either way, actually, Rachel. If you’ve seen this. I can either be hyper-focused on my family, and everything is gonna be about them, and I’m gonna run down to the school, or I’m gonna yell at the coach, or I’m gonna like, I’m so hyper-focused on my family that I miss the people around me, the community, right? Or I can flip to the other extreme, where I’m so service and action-oriented that I’m missing my family. And I think it’s a delicate balance that all of us struggle with. And I think sometimes there is a balance that leans a little bit more toward calling or outside of our home, and sometimes there’s a balance that’s more in your home. I think it can ebb and flow that way. I would just say, figure out what you want your kids, especially, to look like at 30 and decide what you’re doing today to get them there. Like, what are you hoping for for your kids? And so Mike and I decided pretty early on we wanted kids that, I mean, obviously, first and foremost, that know and love the Lord, right? Of course. But we wanted kids who serve, and we wanted kids who would chase after God’s calling in their lives to do the hard things that other people won’t do. And so we’ve prayed that. And when you pray for your kids to do hard things, my goodness, hard things come along for them. It’s like when I prayed for years for my kids to get caught in their sin, and then I’m like, great, I’m gonna stop praying that. Woo, have we been caught in our sin a lot over here? But I really prayed hard for our kids to do hard things and to chase after what God has for them.
Cynthia Yanof (23:03.758)
And, you know, in the midst of that, the Lord put foster care on our hearts for Mike. And I was like, foster care? Like, that’s gotta be for like, I don’t know, missionaries or people that play in the handbell choir. Like, who does foster care? Like, really, really, really Christian people, not like the Yanoffs. And so that’s really, by the way, very doctrinally incorrect. And so the Lord just kept pursuing it. And so we did, and I’m gonna give you a one-second version of a very long story: we ended up doing foster care and adopting our little boy, which is why I’m in my 50s with a 21, an 18, and a nine-year-old. Hello. So it’s like menopause and math facts, all in one. But we went into, I went into foster care, scared to death of what it was gonna do to our family. And I came out scared of who our family would be if we hadn’t done it because you were changed when you do the things of God. And all this time I’m praying, God, put this emphasis on my kids. Mark their hearts for you. And the Lord’s like, how about we just mark your heart for me? And then the rest of it will flow from that. And my kids, they saw foster care on the front lines of it, right? Like they are different on the other side because we cried over a crib night after night, begging the Lord to do something merciful for this little boy. We went to parts of town that I had never been to. I surely wasn’t gonna take my kids to go to CPS offices where kids had everything they owned in a trash bag. And I mean, my kids experienced this day in and day out for years until we adopted him, and they’re different now. And I’m so thankful my daughter, who just graduated from college, is taking a gap year before law school. She works for a foster care agency, and what she does is recruit foster families and talks about what it does to your bio kids, because she’s a bio kid, and just how the Lord will use that. So, a long way back to answer your question: if you want to put the focus on your family, I think it’s important and matters, but focus on what you want your family to look like. What do you want your kids to look like when they’re 30? Start praying for it now and start doing it now. Whatever that thing is, start living it, and the Lord will honor it. It won’t look like foster care for all of you, but it will look like doing some hard things, some meaningful things, some kingdom things that will really change the look of your family. And I mean, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Rachael Adams (25:20.004)
What a beautiful story. You know, I’m just thinking about how many of us are very busy. And I have been in a season of busy, but now my son is driving, and my kids are very busy on their own way. And so I actually do have a lot more time than I did have. And so I’m thinking, how do I want to be intentional with this time? Because our time does matter, and I feel like God wants to use us. And so talk to us about how to listen to the Holy Spirit’s leading. Because I think we can spend our energy, our resources, and our time doing maybe the exact opposite of what he would want us to do. And so it’s just really important for us to listen to his voice, well, ask for his wisdom, listen, and then actually obey.
Cynthia Yanof (26:05.324)
Yeah, you know, Jenny Allen thinks that every day she prays, “What do you want me to know, God, and what do you want me to do?” And I’ve kind of adopted that too, starting in the morning. What do you want me to know, and what do you want me to do? But I would just say this: don’t overcomplicate it. The Lord is very intentional, and the Lord is not subtle when he has something for you. If you have an open heart to that, I mean, I remember praying for missional stuff, not foster care, because as I said earlier, I was not looking for that journey. And I felt like the Lord, I mean, you guys, we started getting mail talking about foster care. Like, what is this flyer? Every time I’d flip on the TV, it would be something related to foster care I’ve never seen before or since. I would run into people like that, people I had seen before, who would be like, “Yeah, we do foster care.” Really great. This is an agency. I’m like, OK, loud and clear, Lord. And so I would just say, like, we spend a lot of time just trying to discern his voice. I feel like the Lord is very obvious in many ways. He puts something on your heart that maybe wasn’t otherwise on your heart, something that keeps you up at night, maybe something keeps you from sleeping, something, and you’re like, man. And so then you can get caught in the paralysis of I can’t solve this whole problem, or I don’t know exactly what this means, or I don’t have all the details. Well, God moves at the pace of your next yes. That’s what my pastor always says. He moves at the pace of your next yes. Say yes to the next thing that’s calling that you feel like the Lord’s speaking into, and by the way, one other thing on that, if it’s in the Bible, you don’t have to think about it. Like if it says care for orphans or widows and there’s an orphan or a widow in need, like this isn’t like, oh Lord, I don’t know, you’re not being clear on it. Pretty clear, if it’s in the Bible, then it’s meant to be. And so some of those places that you’re maybe really anguishing, don’t anguish as much, just take the next step.
Rachael Adams (27:53.059)
Yeah, well, and I’m just mindful that I don’t always get this right, and that’s why I’m asking you so many questions. How do we do this? How do I do this well? And I think that’s what I love about what you’re sharing, too. Like, I haven’t always done this correctly, and so there’s a lot of grace and just thinking about the woman listening, like gosh, I think I have missed it. Talk to us about maybe just that giving her grace and then like forgiveness, like it’s okay, and God has covered that, but there is a way forward
Cynthia Yanof (28:26.38)
Listen, if anyone has missed it, it’s me. And you may wake up one day and be able to write a whole book on how I missed it, like Cynthia Yanoff just did, like literally. But I do believe his mercies are new every day. Every morning, he has new mercies. There is no condemnation in Christ. And so I would just say this: if you have breath in your lungs, today’s the day.
Today’s the day to do the things God’s calling you to do. And some of us have convinced ourselves that when our kids it’ll be, you know, I can do that, but my kids need to be older, or my finances are better, or my husband doesn’t travel as much, or when I have a husband, or when my career slows down, or my career speeds up. I mean, we have a thousand excuses. And I’m just gonna say, like, we’re not promised tomorrow, right, you guys? And so today’s the day to step into it. Not from a place of guilt, that’s from the enemy, the guilt that, ah, I already missed it. No, you didn’t miss anything, you’re still here. You have breath.
And from the beginning of time until the end of time, Adam and Eve, until the second coming of Christ, at any point, the Lord could have placed you on this earth. And it’s now, in this time, in the communities you’re in, in the families you’re in. And so listen, man, you don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to miss what the Lord has. And surely I have missed many small things along the way. I’ve been at the gas pump, blown off the woman, and thrown some food because I was going to a bigger event.
But listen, I believe that the Lord, the God of the universe, can take my meager, insignificant, insincere efforts along the way and use them for something mighty. And going forward, I’m just gonna take the next step to do something well for the Lord, whatever that is. And if it comes at the cost, and it will at the cost of things that I’m prioritizing that don’t have eternal significance, then so be it. And so you haven’t missed it. There’s time. Jump into the things that the Lord has and just know that He’s the author and creator of all things. He can bridge the gap where we miss it.
Rachael Adams (30:16.247)
Absolutely. And I think the more we partner with Him and see His faithfulness in our little acts and what He can do with them, the more it encourages us to continue doing more faithful acts and partnering with Him. yeah. Well, okay, so is there a biblical concept of love that you think applies to this topic today?
Cynthia Yanof (30:28.078)
100%. Yeah.
Cynthia Yanof (30:34.83)
Yeah, I would say like, I love 1 Corinthians 13. And I know it’s the love chapter, and everybody’s like, I’ve heard it 1000 times. And so have I every wedding, right? Okay. And we focus on the love is patient, love is kind, love is all these things, right? But do know that part of the passage that says that anything we do without love is like a clanging gong. And I think about this, like literally, like what if we walked around each day and every time we did things, maybe even the things that are like, I’m air quoting this, the church things or the God things, but we do without love? What if there was a gong? Like, you know, I call to say, be sure and pray for so and so. And I really just want to tell them that their son derailed the gong, or the times that I’m going to, like, correct my husband in love. But I’m also going to tell him the last 25 times he screwed up like a gong. Like, what if a gong actually, you know, like that happened? I mean, wouldn’t it change how we go about our days? And so I would just say like, when you think about love is patient, love is kind, like these aren’t just like, who could live up to that? Those all sound like real asks to consider how we do things. When I was in law school, I knew everyone. I used to be a lawyer, it’s real sad situation. Now, I haven’t done it in a long time, and I was terrible at it. But my first class was contracts, and I took the contract. I was a good student, and I went to this class, it’s the first time I’d taken a class where there was one test. And so I went to class, and I participated, and I did the study groups, and the test came around, and I saw it front and back, two essays. I scribbled it out back when I used pencils and paper, everybody. And I turned it in, I’m like, nailed it. And I went and checked my grade, and I got an F. You guys, in law school, never got an F. And I was the only F in the class. And I was like, oh my gosh. And so I went to talk to the professor, and it was graded anonymously. And the professor’s like, I can’t believe that you were the F. Like, you came to class, you knew the material. And he said, but listen, when you answered the question, like you must have read it wrong. You answered what we weren’t asking. And if that was what we were asking, by the way, that’s an A. That’s an A answer, but that’s not what we were asking. And that’s kind of, think, what’s going on when it comes to love in our culture. Like our brand, as Christian is. That is our brand. And our culture is asking questions about their identity, whether they’re good enough, and whether God can love them. They’re asking all these questions about faith and looking at us. And if we are answering with anything but love, we’ve answered the wrong question.
Cynthia Yanof (32:53.44)
And that’s what happened in contracts, and that’s what happens in life. Like you have one chance encounters with people every day. One chance encounters at the gas pump, you have one chance encounters at the office, and usually it’s with people who are not pleasant or enjoyable, but you have one chance encounters to show them the brand of love. And if we’re answering the questions our culture is asking with anything other than that, then we’ve answered the wrong question.
Rachael Adams (33:18.98)
That’s so good. I mean, I wrote a whole book on everyday prayers for love and used first Corinthians 13 as the basis, but I love how you’re saying the gong. I mean, it was just it’s such a great Illustration and you’re right. It’s the heart motivation behind what we do, and it’s empty if we don’t do it with the right heart. So tell us something you are loving right now
Cynthia Yanof (33:40.302)
Okay, here is what I’m loving: you guys. Mahjong. Does anybody play Mahjong? Rachel, have you played Mahjong? Have you heard of Mahjong? What? Okay, you guys, it’s a tile game, and it’s very old, very old. It used to be like, well, I believe Asian women played it many, many, like forever, hundreds of years, but it became very popular, and it’s very popular in the South right now. And it’s kind of hard to play, but once you get it, you get it. And it’s tiles, and they make the prettiest tiles, like ridiculously expensive, pretty tiles. I have three sets of Mahjong tiles. I have a Mahjong table, brace yourself, everyone, a Mahjong table that is so cute and custom-painted. And you can buy little mats, racks, and all kinds of things. It’s a little, I mean, I might need to confess some sin about this idol. I don’t know. We can talk about that when we stop recording, Rachael. If you haven’t played Mahjong, check it out.
Rachael Adams (34:59.652)
Okay, so would this be something that men and women would enjoy? Or is it more of a women’s game?
Cynthia Yanof (35:04.877)
Okay, well, women gather. Okay, so a lot of people in my neighborhood play almost every other night, and you can go somewhere and play. I have friends who play during the day. So a lot of women, but I taught my husband, and he loves it because he has a very analytical mind. He’s an attorney, too. And he’s better at it than I am, actually. And then we taught some of our other husbands, and the ones we’ve taught, they really like it. But you’ve got it. Like, you have to play it as you play it once you’re like, “I’m never gonna learn, this is too hard.” Play it five or six times in a row, like day after day, and then it’ll click. But I think your husbands would like it. It’s so much fun. You can have your friends over. It’s a good community builder, all the things.
Rachael Adams (35:36.589)
Okay.
Rachael Adams (35:41.825)
Okay. Well, I’m gonna look into this. I can’t believe… I mean, I live in the South, and I didn’t know that this was the thing. So, I’m gonna maybe think… I’m thinking about, like, game nights for the holiday season and winter months and all that. So, that’s a really great suggestion. I love it. Okay. Well, I know I want to stay connected with you. I’m sure listeners will want to. So, tell us how we can best do that.
Cynthia Yanof (35:54.06)
Yes! yeah, look it up. It’s so fun.
Cynthia Yanof (36:04.588)
Yeah, I would love for you to follow me on Instagram, just Cynthia Yanoff, Y-A-N-O-F, kind of a weird last name, but when you find me, you find me, and then you can find everything else from there basically. I have a website, cynthiayanoff.com, but yeah, follow me on social. Lots of stuff is coming out about my book, and I would just love for you guys to connect. Anyway, I can be there, DM me, I’ll pray over you, whatever you need, I’m around.
Rachael Adams (36:27.022)
Well, speaking of praying over us, would you do so now?
Cynthia Yanof (36:30.272)
Absolutely. Dear Heavenly Father, I just thank you so much for Rachel and this calling to do this for so many people who listen and love you and love her. And I just thank you, and I pray that you continue to bless this podcast and her writing, Lord. And I pray for each woman and man who is listening to this. And I just pray right now in this moment that, Lord, you will lay on their heart what you want to say, what you want them to know, what you want them to do, that yes, I hope that we’ve laughed and we’ve been entertaining, but really that’s a miss at the end of the day if we have it pointed back to you and what you have for each of us individually. And so Lord, just don’t let us miss it. Life is short, life is hard. There are so many hurts and needs around us, Lord, and even within our home. And don’t let us miss what you have and what you want to use us for and do through us, because Lord, one day in eternity, we will see what you’ve done and what you had planned for Us, and how we had an impact when we didn’t really even understand what it meant. And so Lord, just give us eyes for kingdom impact today and take away the condemnation and the fear and all that goes along with that, and that the enemy plants on us Lord. I thank you. We love you, Lord. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Rachael Adams (37:38.686)
Amen. Cynthia, thank you. You are fun and such a joy to have on, but I really just appreciate the heart behind what you shared and the way you helped us focus on what really matters. Thanks for joining us.
Cynthia Yanof (37:48.814)
Thanks, Rachel. It’s great, great, great being here.
Rachael Adams (37:52.505)
Thank you so much for listening to the Love Offering Podcast. I hope today’s conversation encouraged and inspired you to love God, love others, and even love yourself a little more. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend and leave a review. It helps others find the show and spreads the message of love even further. To connect with me, visit RachelKAdams.com. While you’re there, be sure to download the Love Offering Calendar, a free resource filled with simple daily ways to love those around you. Don’t forget to pick up a copy of my book, Everyday Prayers for Love, as well as Cynthia’s new book, How’d I Miss That? gas pump confessions, drive-through obsessions, and figuring out what really matters. A special thank you to Life Audio for supporting this podcast and making it possible. To find more great podcasts, visit LifeAudio.com. Thanks again for joining us today. Until next time, let’s make our lives an offering of love.
