Stop Striving and Start Keeping Company with Jesus

by Rachael Adams | Aug 18, 2026 | The Love Offering Podcast Show Notes

Have you ever finished your quiet time and immediately moved on to the “real” part of your day?

You read the assigned chapters, worked through your prayer list, and checked another task off your list. You spent time with Jesus, yet somehow you walked away feeling more accomplished than connected.

Many of us love God deeply while quietly approaching our relationship with Him as another area in which we must perform. We wonder if we are reading enough Scripture, praying long enough, serving faithfully enough, or growing quickly enough. Without realizing it, our pursuit of Jesus can begin to feel more like a performance review than a relationship.

But Jesus never asked us to earn our place in His presence. He simply invited us to remain.

In a recent conversation on The Love Offering Podcast, author and speaker Christine Hoy shared how we can trade perfectionism for peace, performance for presence, and striving for a gentler way of walking with Jesus.

From Obligation to Relationship

Christine recognized this pattern in her own life after walking through a difficult season of caring for her mother, grieving her death, and managing her estate. Although Christine continued attending church and reading Scripture, she realized she had been carrying the weight largely in her own strength.

She still loved God, but she had lost her joy and delight in being with Him.

Perhaps you can relate. During seasons of caregiving, motherhood, ministry, work, grief, or transition, we can become so focused on persevering that we forget to lean on the One who is carrying us. We continue doing all the faithful things, but our hearts feel weary and disconnected.

Christine brought that weariness honestly before the Lord and asked Him to restore her delight in His presence. Over time, He faithfully answered that prayer.

If your faith feels dry or dutiful today, you can offer Jesus the same simple prayer: “Lord, help me delight in You again.”

Remain Connected to the Vine

In John 15, Jesus describes Himself as the vine and His followers as the branches. This picture shows us how completely dependent we are upon Him. A branch cannot produce fruit by working harder. Fruit grows naturally as the branch remains connected to its source of life.

The same is true for us.

We often think spiritual fruit will come through greater discipline, effort, or achievement. While spiritual practices are valuable, they cannot replace our dependence upon Jesus. Lasting fruit is produced through connection, not performance.

Even pruning is evidence of the Gardener’s loving care. Christine shared what she learned from a friend who tends a vineyard: healthy plants are pruned not to weaken them, but to strengthen them. Stress can also concentrate the flavor within grapes.

The difficult and uncomfortable seasons we want to avoid may become the very places where God deepens our faith and produces richer fruit. Our Father is not carelessly cutting things away. He is lovingly tending our lives.

Release the Pressure of a Perfect Quiet Time

One obstacle to abiding is believing our time with God must look a certain way. We may think that if we cannot devote an uninterrupted hour to Bible study and prayer, there is little point in beginning.

But abiding does not require a perfect routine.

It may look like slowly reading one verse and asking God what He wants to show you. It may mean sitting with one word from Scripture, such as “remain,” and carrying it with you throughout the day. It may be whispering a short prayer while standing beside the coffee pot, driving to work, folding laundry, or waiting in the school pickup line.

Christine recommends breath prayers as one simple way to return our attention to God. As you inhale, you might pray, “Search me and know my heart.” As you exhale, “I give You all my anxious thoughts.”

These small pauses remind us that Jesus is not confined to a morning appointment. He is present throughout our entire day.

Abiding isn’t necessarily about adding another spiritual discipline to our schedules. It is about repeatedly returning our hearts to Jesus.

Stay When You Don’t Feel Close to God

Every relationship passes through seasons when emotions feel stronger or weaker. A married couple does not cease to be married when the intensity of their feelings changes. Their underlying commitment remains.

Our relationship with God is also grounded in something deeper than emotion: His faithful love.

If you are walking through a spiritual winter, do not assume God has left you. Continue showing up. Tell Him honestly that you do not feel close to Him. Ask Him to restore the joy of His presence, and trust that silence does not mean absence.

Christine shared about attending a retreat during a season when she felt disqualified and far from God. As she watched other women receive meaningful words from the Lord, His silence seemed to confirm her fear that He had nothing left to say to her.

On the final morning, she prayerfully recognized that the name she had believed about herself was “not good enough.” When she asked Jesus what He called her, she sensed Him say, “You are My precious pearl.”

God had not abandoned her. He was gently inviting her to receive the identity and love He had already given her.

You may not receive an immediate answer when you sit with Jesus, but keep coming. Keep listening. Keep your heart and hands open. He still sees you, knows you, and wants you near.

Are You Serving from Overflow or Obligation?

Perfectionism can disguise itself as holiness. Because we sincerely want to honor God, it can be difficult to recognize when faithful service has turned into unhealthy striving.

Christine offered several warning signs: joy drains out of our service, resentment begins creeping in, we continue showing up only because people are counting on us, and ministry starts feeling more like a weight than a calling.

“Holiness that flows from abiding produces overflow,” Christine explained. “Striving disguised as holiness produces depletion.”

This gives us an important question to bring before the Lord: Am I doing this from overflow or from obligation?

Jesus never intended us to pour endlessly from empty vessels. He invites us to receive His love so fully that it naturally spills into the lives of others.

First John 3:1 reminds us, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”

When we understand how extravagantly the Father loves us, we no longer have to serve in order to prove our worth. We can love God and others freely from the fullness we have received.

An Invitation to Rest

Christine’s REST framework offers a helpful path from striving to peace:

Release your fears, false expectations, and need for control.

Embrace your identity in Christ rather than believing what the world or other people have said about you.

Surrender your heart to God’s healing work by giving Him your shame, offering forgiveness, and receiving His grace.

Transform your daily rhythms so you can experience God’s peace and presence.

Jesus is not waiting for you to perfect your spiritual routine before drawing near. He is not measuring your worth by the length of your prayers, the number of chapters you read, or the ministries you serve.

He has already saved you a seat beside Him.

Today, you can stop striving long enough to acknowledge His presence. Open your hands and pray, “Jesus, I return to You. I abide in You. I am here.”

The God of the universe wants to keep company with you. And as you remain with Him, His peace will quiet your striving, His love will fill your heart, and His fruit will grow naturally through your life.

Christine Hoy