Do you worry that you’re messing up your kids? Do you get stressed when you think about their futures? New York Times bestselling author Crystal Paine knows how you feel. A mom of four, Crystal has struggled with anxiety over parenting. She wanted to parent with grace, instead of a system of rules where kids are expected to do all the right things. She wanted to be a safe place for her children, and she definitely didn’t want to be remembered as the sort of mom who yelled, wounded her kids with words, or worse, cared more about her reputation than her kids’ hearts.
In this episode, Crystal shares the life-changing lessons that God has been teaching her about raising kids with love and grace.
Topics of Conversation:
- The root of why we often feel so frustrated and irritated with our kids
- How to keep going when you want to give up
- How to stop parenting for your own approval and reputation
- The four most important choices you can make as a parent
- Help you get your kids to talk to you
At a time when parenting is more complicated than ever, this is the message that will bring you freedom, hope, and healing.
Quotes:
“My hope for the book is to help any parent who is feeling overwhelmed with a situation or feeling alone to know they are not alone.”
“I felt like a failure and I didn’t know what to do. There’s no three-step process to pull your child out of this pit. But I also remembered feeling so loved by God. He met me there and I just knew I was not alone.”
“God is Immanuel and He has not left us. He walks with us.”
“He used this experience to shake me and wake me up to the fact that I was parenting in a way that I was trying to micromanage and fix my kids. I cared more about my reputation than I did about a relationship with them.”
“It was such a hard season but God used it for so much good.”
“I feel like you’re trying so hard to fix your child, what would it look like to just walk with them?”
“I was spending so much time correcting and not connecting.”
“As I asked myself why I was doing this, it was rooted in an approval idol I had. I wanted to be a good mom because I wanted other people to think that I was a good mom. I even wanted God’s approval.”
“If you believe a lie long enough, it becomes your truth.”
“They weren’t just lies I believed. They became labels I wore.”
“I had to recognize the lie and replace the lie with truth.”
“We worry because we have taken on responsibility that God never intended for us to bear. We are not our kids Savior and Holy Spirit. It is not all up to us. We need to rest in the Lord.”
“If my job isn’t these things, then what is my job as a parent?”
“We have the choice to lean into love, listen well, lead with humility, and let go. These choices are not dependent on our children’s choices.”
“Pay attention to what you were getting frustrated at with your kids. Typically at the root of our frustration is selfishness and pride. We expect our child to be perfect.”
“Shoot up a flare prayer. Lord, help me to lean in and love my child, listen well, lead with humility, and let go.”
“Step into their world and care about what they care about. The most conversation happens when you’re in side-by-side situations.”
“I have so much more peace because I’m not trying so hard.”
“It sets the tone for our home of patience and kindness when I respond in love. It defuses and deescalates the situation.”
“Those two boys would not have been on our laps had it not been for those 10 years of waiting.”
“I couldn’t see that then and you may not see it right now. Don’t give up hope. God’s not done yet and He writes the best stories.”
“We can be a conduit to let God’s love pour through us to other people. I don’t have anything to give unless I’m filling myself up with Him.”
“Cram so much truth in that there is no space for lies. Then when someone bumps into you, God’s love spills out.”
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