“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
Matthew 26:38 NIV
The doctor stretched out her arm and drew circles on top of circles on the whiteboard, an illustration of how she viewed my unborn baby’s predicament: a presumed diagnosis of a stroke in utero. I sat there feeling like a child failing miserably at a particular subject in school, but the subject I was failing in was pregnancy.
My figurative teacher drew a large head to represent the accumulated fluid and then continued to draw more circles around that head, signifying swelling as the amount of fluid increased. I half expected her to write the word BOOM and draw scribbles depicting chaos after the head would ultimately explode. She didn’t. She simply said, “If I were you, I would take care of it and try again.”
That was the day I unknowingly became a forever caregiver. Throughout the remainder of my pregnancy with Lucas, my soul was overwhelmed with sorrow. I cried out, Lord! Please take this cup from me! But all I heard was silence.
Jesus knew my pain, and he knows yours too. He’s with us during the unexpected diagnoses, the treatments, the doctors’ appointments, and the agonizing decisions. He’s present in the sleepless nights. He enters our fellowship of suffering and keeps vigil beside us. He does for us what he asked his disciples to do for him. He stays with us, keeps watch over us, and comforts us. In their human frailty, the disciples failed him. But Jesus will never fail us. He will stay and keep watch beside us—always.
Jesus, in this new caregiving journey, I thank you for your continuous presence.
About the Author:
Jess Ronne is an author, speaker, podcast host at Coffee with Caregivers, associate producer of the Unseen Documentary, and caregiver advocate. She is the founder and executive director of The Lucas Project, a non-profit dedicated to providing recognition, resources, and respite support for special needs families. She and her husband, Ryan, live in Michigan with their eight children, including their son Lucas, who has profound disabilities. Her story of beauty from ashes has been shared on The Today Show, Daily Mail, and Huffington Post and is detailed in her memoir Sunlight Burning at Midnight. To follow the ongoing saga, she can be found at www.jessplusthemess.com or purchase her latest books, Blended with Grit & Grace, Lovin’ with Grit & Grace, and Caregiving with Grit & Grace.
Connect with Jess:
facebook/jessronneofficial
instagram/jessplusthemess
