“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
What comes to mind when you think about loving someone else? Being kind, compassionate, slow to anger? All good! But have you considered that sometimes love can be confrontational? That love might mean calling out a brother or sister in Christ when they are making destructive, ungodly choices.
The Philippians verses quoted above talk about loving with knowledge and discernment – what does that look like?
Knowing that a friend’s struggle with sexual immorality stems from an unloving relationship with his parents.
Discerning that the young adult justifying his sinful actions has deeper issues going on that also need to be addressed.
One of the many things I love about Jesus is that He knew exactly how to get to the root of things. When someone asked Him a question, He knew exactly what the REAL issue was. That core issue is what He addressed.
I was talking to a friend recently who was frustrated with a church group he had been attending. He said he wasn’t “feeling it” and stopped going. Some further questions revealed that he was living immorally, which probably had much more to do with his feeling disconnected from church fellowship than any fault of those in the group. Showing him love meant gently pointing that out.
While we were visiting a fossil museum, my husband had a discussion with someone about the authority of the Bible. The man was very antagonistic, but further questions revealed that he was jaded about religion and faith because of the way that he grew up. Loving him meant talking through issues at the root of his antagonism.
Loving with knowledge and discernment often involves getting below the surface of people’s lives to know how best to love them. Sometimes that discernment comes through prayer, other times through asking specific questions.
Every person’s greatest need is Jesus and a relationship with Him. If they have that relationship but aren’t living the way He designed them to live (according to His Word), then that will create problems. We reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7-9), and God’s moral law is woven into the fabric of the universe. When we try to live contrary to that moral law, we’re not going to find joy, peace, and meaning. Many (but certainly not all) of our struggles in life are a result of our not living within the protective boundaries that God has set forth in His Word. In those cases, the most loving thing we can do is to gently lead them to understand that God’s way is the best way. Following Him may not be easy, but ultimately it will bring the most joy to us and glory to God.
About the Author:
Amy Simon is a wife, mom of 3, and church women’s ministry leader living in Wisconsin. She loves writing about ways to get below the surface in our lives to grow closer to Jesus. She also coaches Christian writers on how to create a writing life that brings joy to them, glory to God, and benefit to others. You can find her at www.amylynnsimon.com.
Connect with Amy:
FB and IG: @amysimonwriter
