Have you ever looked at another woman and thought, “She must not be afraid”?
Maybe she teaches with confidence, leads a ministry, or steps into opportunities you can hardly imagine accepting. From the outside, it seems as though courage comes naturally to her.
That was one of the first things I wanted to ask Jess Connolly when she joined me on The Love Offering Podcast. Looking at her work as an author, speaker, and ministry leader, I might have assumed fear wasn’t something she struggled with.
But Jess shared a different story. She has felt scared throughout many of the very experiences that look courageous from the outside.
Her book, You Can’t Be Brave Until You’re Scared, gives language to the invitation we explored together: we can bring our fear honestly to God and follow Him while we are still afraid.
When fear feels like a failure of faith
Many of us carry a quiet question: If I really trusted God, would I still feel this way?
We feel nervous about a conversation, worried about our children, or hesitant about a calling. Then we add another burden to the one we are already carrying: shame over being scared.
Jess encouraged us to distinguish between experiencing fear and allowing it to direct our decisions. Feeling afraid does not automatically mean we have stopped trusting God. It can become a moment in which we turn toward Him and ask for help.
In our conversation, Jess pointed to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Scripture describes His deep distress as He prayed to the Father and surrendered to His will. His anguish and His obedience appear together in the account.
That offers us a tender reminder: we can bring our distress to God. We don’t have to make ourselves appear composed before we pray.
God meets us in our weakness
This conversation was especially personal for me because fear has shaped parts of my own story.
In college, I wanted to pursue broadcast journalism. But a public speaking course frightened me so much that I changed my major to business. Years later, God led me into podcasting, writing, and speaking—work that brings me back to many of the things I once believed I couldn’t do.
When I first began the podcast, I wrote everything out and read it word for word. If I made a mistake, I recorded it again. I wanted to get everything right.
I have grown more comfortable being myself, but I still get nervous. Before speaking, I can feel that familiar uncertainty rise up again.
Jess shared something that challenged and encouraged me: some of the experiences that have deepened her confidence in God have been the ones that went poorly. She has learned about His grace through mistakes, repentance, and trying again.
We often want confidence to come from proving how capable we are. Yet we can also grow in trust as we discover how faithfully God meets us in our limitations.
The question becomes: Can I trust Him to work through me, even here?
Whose approval am I seeking?
As we talked, I realized that much of my fear comes from how I might be perceived. What if I fail? What if I’m rejected? What if someone misunderstands me?
Those questions can become very loud.
Jess invited us to consider the place other people’s approval occupies in our hearts. When acceptance becomes the thing we organize our lives around, it can begin to guide decisions that belong to God.
She described holy awe as a reverence for the Lord that helps us remember whom we ultimately worship and serve. His voice can become more influential than our fear of what someone else might think.
For me, that means remembering how deeply I want to be faithful to Him. I want to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
We can love people, listen humbly, and still entrust their opinions to God. Following Him may require a step that others won’t fully understand.
Start by naming what scares you
One of Jess’s most practical suggestions was wonderfully simple: name your fear.
Rather than trying to fix everything immediately, she encouraged listeners to take out a piece of paper and spend three to five minutes writing down what they are afraid of.
No shaming. No pressure to produce a solution. Just honesty.
Perhaps your page would include:
I’m afraid my child will make a decision I can’t undo.
I’m afraid I will disappoint someone.
I’m afraid I will obey God and still fail.
I’m afraid I don’t have what this next season requires.
Naming a fear gives us something specific to bring to the Lord. It can also help us explore where that fear began and what is ours to address.
From there, we can ask, “God, what are You inviting me to do? What would one faithful step look like?”
The answer will look different in different lives and seasons. Courage may mean asking for help, having an honest conversation, seeking counseling, or trying again. We can explore that next step with Him.
Trusting God with our children
The part of our conversation about motherhood brought me to tears.
As a mother of teenagers, I know how weighty their decisions can feel. I love my children so deeply, and I want to protect them from pain. The uncertainty of their future can stir fears I struggle to put into words.
Jess shared that she names her concerns specifically before God. Doing so helps her pray honestly and remember what is hers to carry and what she must release.
She also shared a phrase she returns to: “I cannot and would not choose to save my kids from their testimony.”
That is a difficult thought for a mother’s heart. We long for our children to know God deeply, yet we wish we could remove every hardship from their path.
I heard in her words an invitation to trust the Lord with the parts of their stories I cannot control. We can guide, protect, pray, and remain present while recognizing that our children must also learn to walk with Him.
Jess described a change in how she responds when her children are scared. Instead of immediately telling them not to be afraid, she invites them to tell her what frightens them. She makes room for their emotions and helps them consider what courage might look like.
What a loving practice to carry into our homes: listening before rushing to reassure.
When obedience doesn’t turn out as you hoped
We also talked about a question many of us have asked: What happens when I take the courageous step and it doesn’t go well?
Sometimes we obey and still experience disappointment. The conversation is difficult. The opportunity closes. The outcome doesn’t look anything like what we hoped.
Jess brought us back to Jesus’ words in John 16:33. He told His disciples they would have trouble, while assuring them that He had overcome the world.
A hard outcome does not automatically mean God has abandoned us or that our obedience was wasted.
We can tell Him we are discouraged. We can bring Him our questions. We can ask for wisdom about what comes next.
Jess encouraged us to keep talking to God through that disappointment. Our honest prayers can become a place of continued relationship with Him, even before we understand what He is doing.
Your courage can encourage someone else
One of my favorite parts of the conversation was Jess’s reflection on encouragement.
She shared how telling a friend about returning to therapy helped that friend consider taking the same step. Her honesty made room for someone else’s courage.
When we share only polished outcomes, others may assume that what we do comes easily. When we also acknowledge the vulnerability involved, we help someone else recognize that she can take a faithful step too.
We can speak that encouragement over one another: “I see how hard this is for you. I see you showing up. I’m proud of you.”
Love makes room for those honest conversations. Sometimes our offering of love is simply being present with someone who is scared.
One faithful step today
If fear has been making you feel ashamed or stuck, I hope this conversation offers you a place to begin.
Take a few quiet minutes. Name what scares you. Bring it to the Lord. Invite a trusted person into the conversation when you need support.
Then ask God what faithfulness looks like today.
You don’t have to know every outcome before you take the next step. You can trust the One who walks with you.
Listen to my full conversation with Jess Connolly on The Love Offering Podcast, and explore her book, You Can’t Be Brave Until You’re Scared.
Connect with Jess Connolly:
