Have you ever felt like motherhood is one long balancing act—caught between trying to do it all and letting it all go? One minute the world tells us to chase Pinterest perfection, and the next, it applauds chaos culture and “Hot Mess Mombie” pride. But both extremes leave us weary, guilt-ridden, and longing for something more sustainable.
This week on The Love Offering Podcast, I had the joy of talking with Jamie Erickson about her new book, Overwhelmed Mom. Jamie offers a breath of grace for the woman who’s tired of running on empty. Through biblical wisdom and practical tools, she helps us push back against the weariness epidemic that so often defines motherhood—and invites us to find peace, purpose, and presence right where we are.
Jamie reminds us that reshaping a harried life isn’t about hustling harder or giving up completely—it’s about heart work, not just hard work. It’s learning to edit our lives with intention, create rhythms that bring rest, and rediscover the joy of the calling God has given us as mothers.
If you’ve been feeling burdened by your to-do list or buried under expectations (your own or everyone else’s), this conversation is for you. You don’t have to live overwhelmed—you can live overcome through Christ.
Listen to the episode on Life Audio.
With love and grace,
Rachael
Summary
In this episode of the Love Offering Podcast, host Rachael Adams speaks with Jamie Erickson about the overwhelming pressures faced by mothers today. They discuss the distinction between acute seasons of overwhelm and an overwhelmed life, the cultural pressures of perfectionism, and the importance of finding balance through faith and community. Jamie shares insights from her book, ‘Overwhelmed Mom,’ offering practical tips for managing daily chaos, creating healthy rhythms, and understanding the types of overwhelm. The conversation emphasizes the need for discernment in responsibilities, the power of saying no, and the importance of leaning on God for strength and clarity.
Takeaways
An acute season of overwhelm is not an overwhelmed life.
We often narrate negative stories to ourselves, which exacerbates our feelings of overwhelm.
Cultural pressures can lead to feelings of inadequacy and overwhelm.
Finding a balance between responsibilities and self-care is crucial.
We can create daily rhythms to help manage chaos.
Delegating tasks to others can alleviate personal overwhelm.
It’s important to discern what responsibilities are ours to take on.
Saying no can be a loving act towards ourselves and others.
We need to lean on God for strength and clarity in our lives.
Creating a vision statement can help prioritize our commitments.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Overwhelm
01:01 Understanding the Acute Season of Overwhelm
04:09 The Pressure of Perfection vs. Embracing Chaos
07:45 The Try-Hard Gospel vs. Rest in Jesus
10:26 Types of Overwhelm: Everyday Chaos
13:39 Finding Clarity in Our Responsibilities
20:58 Creating Daily Rhythms of Delight
35:56 Delegating Responsibilities and Leaning on God
38:37 The Biblical Concept of Love in Overwhelm
Transcript (AI Generated)
Rachael Adams (00:02.174)
Welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I’m your host, Rachel Adams, author of “Everyday Prayers for Love,” where we learn to love God, others, and even ourselves. Each week, we delve into meaningful conversations about how to live out the greatest commandment: loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. Whether through inspiring stories, practical tips, or Biblical truths, I hope to encourage you to love boldly, live faithfully, and reflect God’s love in your everyday life. My guest today is Jamie Erickson.
Jamie is a former elementary school teacher turned homeschooling mother of five. In addition to speaking at homeschooling conferences and writing for several periodicals, she co-hosts the Mom to Mom podcast and shares encouragement for parents at the unlikely homeschool.com. Her latest book, Overwhelmed Mom, Quiet the Chaos, Mind What Matters, and Enjoy Your Life Again, offers biblical wisdom and practical help for moms who feel caught between the pressure of Pinterest, perfection, and the pull of chaos culture. Jamie,
Welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I’m so happy to have you.
Jamie Erickson (01:05.452)
I’m thrilled to be here. Thank you so much for having me.
Rachael Adams (01:08.362)
I told you before we hit record that I think that you wrote this book for me specifically today because I’ve already had a sick kid at home, I had Bible study, then my mom is coming into town, so I’ve been preparing, you know, making sure that there’s pumpkin bread for her and her favorite coffee. I cleaned the house and changed the sheets. We have volleyball tonight, and I still need to go to work to do some accounting, so I’m feeling this level of overwhelm. Then, we’re having this conversation, which I’m really excited about. But I’m like, looking at my schedule, Lord, I don’t have the capacity. I’m feeling anxious about all the tasks that need to be done. And every single person listening right now is probably feeling very similar to us. So talk to us about you and your day. Have you ever been in an overwhelmed moment, or have you felt like you’ve been in a constant state of overwhelm during this particular season of life?
Jamie Erickson (02:04.462)
The season of life I am in can feel very overwhelming because I’m in a transitional stage where I’m launching adult children while still having kids at home, all while taking care of aging parents. And I have my hand in many different things. And so yes, I’m in an acute season of overwhelm. And I stress that word acute because I think sometimes as women,
You know, we wear so many hats, and you just gave us a litany of things on your plate today. I’m sure your listeners can empathize, if not sympathize with you in that. However, we have to remember that an acute season of overwhelm, whether it’s a single day, a week, or even an entire season, is not an indication of an overwhelmed life. You are not the overwhelmed woman, and there has to be a distinction there, because sometimes when we live under the idea that everything’s just so overwhelming, I’m in a constant state of overwhelm. I am the overwhelmed woman, the overwhelmed mom, the overwhelmed dad. Narrating that story to ourselves actually makes us more overwhelmed because we don’t realize there really is an end in insight for all of these things. And so we just become overwhelmed with our emotions on top of our overwhelming circumstances.
Rachael Adams (03:31.968)
Yes, so much truth to that. You’re right that so many times, what is the message we are communicating to ourselves, like ‘I’m so overwhelmed, I’m so tired, I can’t do it’? Is it this negative thought pattern like okay I’ve got a lot to do today let’s go God we got this you know you know what is it that’s narrating what are the thoughts that are playing over and over in your head because that’s probably gonna just exasperate whatever is going on and so I think that so many of us are feeling this way. You describe the competing messages that many of us hear: the pressure to do it all, or the encouragement to embrace being a hot mess, you know, like, ‘Oh, I’m just going to, I don’t care a bit, because my life is messy or whatever.’ So, how do both extremes leave moms just more burdened?
Jamie Erickson (04:25.102)
However, the culture pulls us in two different directions. And both of those sides of the pendulum will leave us feeling even more overwhelmed. Because if you are the person who feels like you have to attain perfection, you see that recipe for making homemade fruit snacks, and you add it to your list of things. Some women say, I want to plant a garden. I want to run for Congress. I want to join a hit workout community. Want to foster a child. I want to adopt a pet. I want to paint my living room by breakfast this morning. You know that, yes, and so we add and add and add to our pile, and what that does is one thing.
We’re not actually physically capable of doing all of those things. We might think we are, but let’s not forget that we are made in God’s image, but we cannot be God. So, in doing all of those things, putting more and more on our plate, what we’re inadvertently saying is, ‘I can be God.’ We are like Eve, reaching for so many things that are not ours to take. And so naturally, because we cannot do all those things, we do become overwhelmed. And that physical and emotional overwhelm often spills over into our relationships, even creating spiritual overwhelm. Typically, I’m not sure about you, but I tend to throw myself under the bus when I feel like I’ve taken on too much and I’m overwhelmed. I usually take all my frustration, my tears, and my venom out on the people who are standing the closest to me: my husband, my children, and my friends. So that’s one end of the pendulum. And then there’s the other end of the culture that we’re supposed to swing towards, which is apathetic: ‘It’s wine o’clock somewhere; let’s drink up and wallow in our overwhelm.’ And we become, we feel like we’re victims of our husbands and children. We feel like they are robbing us of purpose. We think that God’s good plans for our lives are actually robbing us of purpose, and we sit in apathy, doing nothing. Doing nothing doesn’t help you dig your way out of overwhelm. What happens instead?
Rachael Adams (06:57.629)
Yeah, you’re even more overwhelmed because then you…
Jamie Erickson (06:58.868)
Right, right. When you say, and this is just a small example, but when I say, I don’t need to do those dishes tonight because they’ll just be more tomorrow. No, there’s actually going to be even more tomorrow because you haven’t taken care of today’s concerns. And then they’ve compiled into tomorrow’s concerns. So either one, both of those sides of the pendulum, leave us feeling more broken and bruised. I think that there’s a happy medium that God has in mind for us, one that we can look to in the jobs He has put in front of us and work with faithfulness and steadfastness. Know that steadfastness is a fruit of the Spirit. We can work with joy and steadfastness in those things and then be willing to relinquish the things that are not ours to do. And if we can do those two things, we will have a more balanced approach and won’t feel like we’re constantly drowning.
Rachael Adams (07:54.928)
This has been a great conversation, and I’m looking forward to continuing it. However, we’re going to take a brief break to hear a word from today’s sponsor. When we return, we’ll discuss the biblical principles and flexible solutions you share in your book.
Rachael Adams (08:10.885)
Welcome back. I’m speaking with Jamie Erickson, the author of Overwhelmed Mom, and in your book, you contrast the ‘try-hard’ gospel of the world with the rest that Jesus offers. Could you please explain what you mean by that and how mothers can begin to shift from striving to abiding?
Jamie Erickson (08:30.668)
Well, there’s a verse in Scripture that says, ‘ Still and know. ‘ And if you parse out the words there in the Greek, it still actually means to let go, to surrender, to fall, to basically you’re admitting to God, you are not able. And so, you’re releasing your clenched fists, all the things you are holding tight to and trying to control. You are opening your clenched fist to Him and saying, ‘You and you alone are God.’ And there are, here’s one thing I’ve learned about overwhelm. There are different types of overwhelm. And we get into trouble when we try to fix and control all the various kinds of overwhelm. There is, however, one particular type of overwhelm that some listeners may be experiencing right now. And that’s the type of overwhelm that is out of your control. Those are the things, like my mother-in-law just passed away two weeks ago. And you better believe that my family is in a season of overwhelming emotions, overwhelming situations at this time when we’re having to know, file death certificates, and do all the practical things that come when somebody you love passes away. There was nothing we could have done to change or fix that. That’s an overwhelming situation that, for the most part, is out of our control. And so sometimes we get into trouble or become more overwhelmed when we feel like we can take on things that are really Only Meant for gods to take on.
Rachael Adams (10:29.695)
Yeah, oh, you’re exactly right. And I’m glad that you brought that up. Sometimes the reason we’re overwhelmed is because we’ve said yes to a million things and put too many things on our plate. But there are other times where it just you’re like you said it is entirely out of our control and then we’re just dealing with the cards that we have been dealt and so what do do in in those seasons you know in your book you also talk about reshaping a harried life as long game soul work so we’re not going just to like flip a switch and just correct all this so what does that practically look like for a woman in the thick of just her daily chaos.
Jamie Erickson (11:05.954)
I’d like to discuss a different type of overwhelm. I said there were three different kinds of overwhelm. Another type of overwhelm speaks to your question. And that is the type that is just our everyday chaos. You mentioned having to change the sheets, make the bread for your mom who’s coming in, and take your kid to soccer. If we can be faithful and steadfast in our work and say yes to the things that are ours to say yes to, but also say a gracious no to other things, knowing those are not ours to tackle. If we can establish some practical handholds in our day to help it run more smoothly, then that will also alleviate the other overwhelm we were just discussing. Those things that are outside of your control are going to happen because Jesus promised that they would. In this world, you will have trouble.
Therefore, some things will come into your life that you have no control over. But if you can get some handholds and some grasps on those everyday, overwhelming things by putting together some good schedules, by putting together some organization, being steadfast, working faithfully, and those things, when that other kind of overwhelm happens, when your child gets sick. You’re, you know, taxing him back and forth from the hospital a lot, or when your husband loses his job, or when your house burns down, when those tragic, overwhelming situations happen, you will be able to handle the overwhelm of those better, because everything else is at a steady clip. Everything else is on autopilot because you’ve put together some sound systems in your life for those things.
Rachael Adams (13:00.189)
Okay, so you’ve given us the two types of overwhelm. I need to hear the third.
Jamie Erickson (13:04.393)
Okay, the third type of overwhelm is really quintessential for our particular cultural moment. In this moment, we’re living in a world where our lives are a free-for-all, open to everyone. When we put all of our lives on social media, we are inundated with everybody’s story. We can hear 10 different plot lines at any given second by going online. The other type of overwhelm occurs when we look at the lives of every other woman we know and think that their causes, callings, and giftings should also be ours. And that comparison of, you know, like I said, she’s making homemade fruit snacks. I’d better do that too. And we add to our plate the things that are actually good, but they’re good things that God has given to someone else. And so those are the three types of overwhelm. You get overwhelmed when you reach for the callings of other women in your life. You become overwhelmed when you fail to remain steadfast and faithful to the calling that God has given you. And you get overwhelmed when you feel like you have to control, fix, and create solutions for things that are really only God’s to do.
Rachael Adams (14:30.205)
That brings to mind the need for clarity and engaging in many conversations with the Lord to know what to say yes to and what to say no to, and to discern what is ours and what is not. So what does that look like for you? For instance, how does the woman who’s thinking, ‘ Okay, I don’t know’? I’ve got all of these things on my plate. I don’t know what to prioritize, what is mine, and what is not. What would you say to her?
Jamie Erickson (14:57.72)
I have a couple of really great solutions in my book, but I’ll give you some key points to consider. One thing I’ve found helpful over the years is recognizing that we have an image in our head of spinning many plates. I’m spinning all the plates, but not all the plates are the same. Some of the plates in my life are china plates. They are very delicate and require my utmost attention and care. Other plates are like, you know, your everyday plate that you serve to your family at dinner, the corral wear or whatever. Those are important, but if they break, they’re replaceable. There are plastic plates in my life. There are even paper plates in my life. And so, to look at all the responsibilities I have in my day and categorize them accordingly. And I had to do that one day and say, What are all the yeses that I have given? What are all the responsibilities that I hold? What plates do I have to spin? And I’m categorizing them so I can see the importance of each one. Then, when I am in a season of overwhelm, I can quickly see those paper plates over there and put them down. I can even let them drop, and everything will be okay. The world is not going to come crashing down on me. And when I’m ready, I can pick them up again if I so choose. However, it takes a bit of proactive thinking to lay out all your responsibilities and see that I’m trying to carry all of these with equal weight. And they’re actually not all equal. When I’m limited in time, attention, energy, and resources, I want to ensure that my dearest responsibilities, which may be unique to me, are taken care of. So that’s one way.
I also think that, as believers, God has equipped us with some tools. He’s given us some tools to help us be discerning, including discerning in how we use our time. First and foremost, never underestimate the power of prayer. God says, If any of you lacks wisdom, ask, and I’ll give it to you liberally. I’ll give it to you generously. So that’s the first step. Whenever I’m asked to do something, do I jump into it feet first, because it sounds fun, or because I know I can do it, so I probably should, or because I was asked to do that thing? I’d say yes. Or do I pause and bring that opportunity or that responsibility to the Lord, asking and seeking wisdom and discernment? So that’s the first thing.
Jamie Erickson (17:45.356)
We also have his word. There are some things I’m asked to do that, if I dig deeply in God’s word, I can see that, nope, that doesn’t line up with my faith. It doesn’t line up with my calling to follow Christ. And so that could be another tool. That’s another tool he’s given us. He’s also provided a community for us. So, Learn to start asking good questions to the people around you who know you best, who know your capacity, and how overwhelmed you currently are. Ask them good questions and be willing to listen to the answers. The other tool he’s given us is our 24 hours in a day. When you can list out the things that you are doing, and you can see them on paper. Oh, I’m trying to cram 56 hours’ worth of work into a 24-hour day. Well, that helps you give a quick ‘no’ to something. And lastly, just as a business creates a mission statement to define who they are, what they do, their purpose, and their goal, I encourage every listener to create a vision statement. It’s similar to a mission statement, but it’s a vision statement, meaning in my finite life, I only have one life to live. What has God called me to do right here, right now? And if you can do that, if you can articulate who you are, who you serve, and how you serve them, then anytime you’re asked to give a yes to something, you can put it through that grid. Are these the people I’m called to serve? Is this how I’m called to serve them? And it really does help you to see that’s a terrific cause, and it’s a really good organization to champion and get behind, but that’s not my organization to champion and get behind in this moment.
Rachael Adams (19:53.834)
Those are all excellent litmus tests for what to carry through your decisions. So I’d like to know your own vision statement.
Jamie Erickson (20:03.734)
Let’s see if I can recite it. I am Jamie Erickson. I am a Christian wife and mother who is called to encourage and equip other mothers to train up their children in godliness, to be steadfast in the work that they have been given, and to be hospitable for the gospel.
Rachael Adams (20:26.557)
Okay, so everybody listening, that’s your homework. I’m going to do it too; it’s my homework as well. We’re going to create our own vision statement. I love that. And as you were talking, I was thinking about how many of the things I say yes to are because I’m trying to please men rather than trying to please God. Or trying almost to make myself feel better about myself, like earning my way. I think that that’s something I have to be really careful of, like earning people’s approval and striving even for God’s approval of me. Like if I do all of these things, then people and God will be proud of me and that’s not how the word works and so I think that that’s something I have to be really careful about and really have to take time to pray through and make sure that my motive is pure in why I’m choosing to do what I’m choosing to do.
Jamie Erickson (21:12.65)
Rachel, I have two words for you or two thoughts for you. One, you’re not alone. That is a trick of the enemy in the lives of many, many women. We fall for the lie, the prideful lie that we can do all, be all for all. Remember that only God is all. And two, there’s a difference between doing something out of love and doing something to be loved.
And that was a hard lesson I had to learn early on, because I wore myself out in my early 20s, saying yes to everybody else’s agenda. And I don’t want to reach the end of my life having lived someone else’s plan.
Rachael Adams (22:01.023)
That’s giving me all the feelings right now. And so we’re going to take a brief break and sit in those feelings for a moment. And when we come back, we will discuss how women can cultivate daily rhythms of delight instead of drudgery.
Welcome back. We are speaking with Jamie Erickson, the author of “Overwhelmed Mom.” So, Jamie, tell us. Okay, so we’re aware that we’re overwhelmed. You’ve provided us with some excellent, practical solutions on how to determine what to say yes to and what to say no to. Let’s discuss some additional options, such as systems or practical rhythms, that we can implement today to experience relief from this overwhelming feeling right now.
Jamie Erickson (22:45.142)
Yes, everybody’s life is going to look different. Suppose you are a working woman. In that case, your life has a different clip to somebody working in the home versus somebody who is just, you know, maybe doesn’t work, doesn’t have a vocational income coming in. We’re all going to have different rhythms to our day. Still, it’s essential that we maintain a rhythm to our day. Science shows that about 40 to 60% of our lives are on autopilot, meaning we do them without even thinking about it. But what if we could direct that 40 to 60 % to be more productive? What if we were intentional about focusing 40 to 60% of our lives on the things that really mattered and would help us dig ourselves out of our overwhelm? And that really comes when we establish good habits in our daily lives. I like to think of a habit as a trellis that we can hang our day on and clip it to so that it can grow straight and strong. And a lot of people bristle when they hear the word habit, or they hear the word, you know, rhythm or intentionality. However, your life will unfold with or without a rhythm. Establishing a rhythm or habit helps you create the life you truly want, rather than just letting life happen to you. Here are a couple of things I’d like to share with a woman who feels overwhelmed.
Again, you won’t be able to overhaul your whole life today. Changing the course of a life is a gradual process. My stepdad was actually an archer, and he was a professional one. He told me something years ago that was so profound that I have never forgotten it. He said, Jamie, when I want to change the entire trajectory of my shot, I don’t have to move my whole body. I just have to move a tiny, incremental step this way or that, and it will change the entire aim of my shot. And that’s precisely what you need to think about when you’re thinking about, like, overhauling your overwhelm.
You’re not going to be able to dig your way out of everything this very minute, but you can dig your way out of one thing that will take 10 minutes to do. And that 10 minutes will snowball into the next 10 minutes, and the next 10 minutes. And you will begin to see so much more relief in your day. Let me give you two ideas that will help you clear a way through 10 minutes of your day today. First, analogize your life wherever possible. And what I mean by that is, I don’t know about you, Rachel, but we’re in September right now, and I have seen all the ads for those digital calendars. You know what I’m talking about? Those wall calendars that are connected to your phone. And they’re so shiny and pretty, and they look like just the perfect solution, which, by the way, throwing cash at your problem doesn’t necessarily make it go away, but that’s a side note.
I could be tempted to grab one of those because I want to get my life in order. But research shows us that every time you grab for a screen, end up wasting, every time you end up wasting 20 to 30 minutes of your day. Because you might say, ‘I’m just going to go on this app really quickly to add this thing to my calendar.’ But what happens? You know, right, you click on Instagram. You see that fun thing that your friend was doing with their kids. You know the recipe you want to make, and you should check your email to see if there’s a bill due that you haven’t paid, or something similar. So, every time you pick up your phone, you end up handing over 20 to 30 minutes of your life to someone else. You end up looking at someone else’s children for 20 to 30 minutes as opposed to your own. And that adds up. If you add up all the time we spend on our apps doing what we think are productive things, and this is research-proven, we spend 24 hours a week living someone else’s life, checking out what someone else is doing. And imagine what you could do, Rachel, with 24 hours given back to you. If I could give you a whole 24 hours free this week, think about what you would do with it. I can give you that by taking away your opportunity to get on a screen. Total screen Absence is probably not possible for most of us. And so wherever possible, analogize your life. Instead of reaching for that really expensive, beautiful, and enticing digital calendar, go for a paper one instead. Instead of putting all your recipes on an app because it seems really easy and straightforward to access, do like Grandma and reach for a recipe card instead. You might feel like you’re stepping back in time, and it may feel like you’re taking some steps backward, but you’re actually not. You’re doing yourself a service. Actually, if you’re a mother, you’re doing your children a service by allowing them to see you do things that don’t require your face in a screen. And what kind of example are you setting for them in doing that? So that’s my first tip.
Analog your life wherever possible. Be the old lady doing everything with pen and paper with no apologies. Secondly, when you have those 10-minute pockets in your day where you’re just kind of sitting around, and we all have them, you know, like the pickup line for school, you’re standing in line at the post office, you’re waiting for that water to boil so you can do the next step for dinner, whatever. We all have five to 10 pockets, 10-minute pockets in our day to do with as we please. And typically, we reach for our phones, but we’ve already discussed that. We will no longer do that. But what can we do instead? I would really encourage you to compile a list of things you can do in 10 minutes. And I provided a lengthy list in my book, but your life is your life. So, sit down and brainstorm, or ‘brain dump,’ a dozen things that you can do within a 10-minute timeframe. It could be empty the dishwasher. It’s time to review the photos of your kids that you’ve been saving for a photo book to share with your parents. It’s time to sweep the front porch. It could be to sit in quiet contemplative prayer. Read a chapter of a book that you’ve been wanting to read, or pay two bills online, or whatever. Think about a dozen things you could do in 10 minutes. So, the next time you have one of those 10-minute pockets, you have your marching orders, and you don’t even have to expend any brain energy thinking about what you should be doing? What is a productive thing that I can be doing? You already have the list, and you can simply proceed to the next item on it.
Rachael Adams (30:24.799)
I love those tips, and over Labor Day, I went through my medicine cabinet. When you know I wanted to clean out my refrigerator, I tried to clean up my pantry, my closet, and all the places where things had gotten overwhelming, because it’s like you look in your closet, you’re like Oh, I don’t even know, I don’t know where anything is. So there is something to it when there’s order. That you only have what you need takes away some of that stress. But all that to say what reminded me of that was I have been staring at my medicine cabinet, which just had you know pills and things everywhere, just in disorder and chaos. It literally took me ten minutes to clean. I thought, why hadn’t I allowed this to stress me out for over a year when it only took me ten minutes to fix the problem, and it’s not just any kind of drawer? It’s surprising how little actual time it takes to get organized if you really set your mind to it and get focused.
Jamie Erickson (31:26.582)
Yes, studies have been conducted on forecasting doom for the projects we have. And we actually assume it’s going to take longer and be harder than it is. And it goes back to what we were discussing at the very beginning: when you’re narrating a negative story, your body begins to believe it, both emotionally, psychologically, and physically. And we get a pit feeling in our stomachs about the idea of facing this job, and when we finally pull the trigger and do the thing, we realize that wasn’t so bad. But it has waves of positive effects because anytime you have physical clutter, it generally follows that you have mental and even spiritual clutter in your life.
Rachael Adams (32:11.318)
100%, and I’ve been talking to my family about it recently too: we can’t allow other people’s overwhelm to overwhelm us and take on other people’s problems. There’s such a thing as compassion fatigue on some level, and then I also think we need to be mindful of when we are constantly around people, especially when I’m so busy. I’m so overwhelmed. I have so much to do. Like, just, and it’s okay to communicate that if that really is how you’re feeling, because that is your reality, and God has given us our emotions for a reason, and we need to acknowledge those. But that can be really off-putting to a lot of people because then they’re like, well, you don’t have any time for me. Like you, you’re so busy. You’re so overwhelmed. Does that evoke any thought in you, like in our relationships with people, if we’re always like, I’m so overwhelmed, that rubs off on people in a negative way sometimes.
Jamie Erickson (33:10.082)
Yes, both of those thoughts you just shared are, in a way, a both-and. You mentioned that compassion fatigue is a real thing, and it’s something to be aware of. Women especially suffer from that because we have this guilt and shame feeling for saying no, especially Christian women who understand the call that we are to take the lower place. We are called to do the hard thing and serve and pour out our lives in the same way that Jesus did. But also remind yourself that in saying yes to somebody else’s need, you are saying no to other people’s needs. And every ‘yes’ that I give to someone out there is a ‘no’ that I have to give to someone in here. So sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to say no for yourself and others. However, it’s both. You have to hold the tension of having that compassion, taking the lower place, considering the least of these, and considering the best in others —all the things that Christ called us to do —while also doing the same for those in your household and for yourself. So that’s a both and.
So the second part of what you were saying about how when those around you continue to say how overwhelmed they are and how off-putting that can be, and sometimes it’s us, right? We’re the ones who vomit our overwhelm onto everyone else. It’s both. We need to have a tight circle of trusted friends, companions that God brings to our door that we can. We can say the real thing too, but we have to choose them carefully because they have to be women who will call us to do better, love better, serve better, and say no better. They have to be women who won’t just hear us vent, like a release valve, releasing all of our angst and frustration. They must be women who will pray for us and guide and exhort us in the right ways. And that’s the trouble we get into in our culture right now: we’re encouraged to be real, and to dump all our disparities on people, because that’s one way we can have catharsis in our overwhelming feelings. We can feel seen and known, but we have to be mindful about who, where, and how we are dumping all of that on. If you’re just going online and, you know, spewing bitch rail about your husband, your children, your boss, your friends. Ask yourself, on the other end of that screen, the people who are reading this, are they gonna pray for you? When they see you next, are they gonna check in with you? Will they offer you some practical solutions and even hands-on, Christ-like care in your moment? Probably not. They’re gonna just keep on scrolling and go to the next thing. So, we have to direct some of our frustration at the tight-knit community of trusted people that God has placed in our lives, and be willing to both give and take from them.
Rachael Adams (37:07.183)
I’m happy you brought that up, because that was something I wanted to mention earlier. This idea of community is about having people pray for you and support you, as well as having people to delegate to. I think to your point earlier, we are not God. We are limited. God is the only one who’s limitless. We only have a certain amount of time. We have a limited capacity and a limited amount of energy. And so we’ve got to delegate some things too. So community is very important. But then also realizing that we need the help of the Lord to do what we can’t do in our own strength. Talk to us a little bit about that, about delegating to the community and other people in your life, as well as leaning on the Lord to give you more capacity. I’ve prayed that before, ‘ Lord, multiply my time, give me more capacity and energy and endurance to do what I can’t do in my own strength. ‘
Jamie Erickson (37:58.868)
Yeah. If you can remember these three D’s, Lord, and make it your prayer every day, Lord, what do I need to do today? What do I need to dismiss today? And what do I need to delegate to someone else today? And make that a repeat, on repeat, in your prayer time. Because there are some things that you can do, and he will give you the capacity and strength. The trouble comes when we feel we have to do it all, as you had said. So give me the wisdom, Lord, to know what is mine to do. Not what is mine to do. What you know is mine to do. And let me tell you, Rachael, those two things are often very vastly different. What I think I should be doing versus what God knows I should be doing are two totally different things. So Lord, what should I do today? And then what can I dismiss those things that I see that I care about a lot? I can care about many things in my life, but I cannot do very many things with care. And I want to do the things he’s called me to with care. I want to excel at the things that he has put in front of me. And that means I can’t do everything. So what can I dismiss with love and grace, you know, and compassion? And then what can I delegate? And if you’re listening and you happen to be a mother, I think we often forget that God has put an entire army of people around us to help when he’s given us children, you know? And I don’t want to put this burden on them. However, in trying to do everything for your kids and feeling like you want to give them a carefree, lovely childhood all the time, we often have this well-intentioned desire. However, in some ways, we are actually hindering and crippling them when we never give them responsibilities and never train and teach them to do something that will eventually take that burden off our plate. So, just like teaching your kids, even little ones, or someone as young as six, how to stand at the kitchen sink, maybe on a chair, and do the dishes, that is speaking love to them. You are giving them capacity, you are giving them agency, you are giving them a practical life skill that will live with them and live on with them for the rest of their days. And so, don’t ever feel guilty or like you’re the mean mom for expecting your children to carry their load, too.
Rachael Adams (40:35.615)
So good, do, dismiss, delegate. That’s our other homework for today. And so I’d like to, this is one of the questions I’ve been asking all of my guests this season. Is there a biblical concept of love that applies to this topic today?
Jamie Erickson (40:50.378)
Well, we’ve said it inadvertently, you know, if you consider every yes and no you give and understand that sometimes love is a yes, but sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to say no. If you can remember that, that will help you set positive, appropriate boundaries in your day in a loving way.
Rachael Adams (41:15.303)
Yeah, I agree. I mean, if we want to love others well, want to obey and love, show God our love, we have to learn to love ourselves. We will not show up as our best selves if we are always frenzied, harried, busy, and overwhelmed. We just aren’t. We’re not going to show up as our best selves. So I’ll go ahead.
Jamie Erickson (41:32.898)
Well, and I think in addition to that, in saying yes to everything, Rachel, if you say yes to everything, even if you are capable, even if you know how to do that thing, you’re actually not leaving room for anybody else’s yes. And some people are outliers in your circles that are just waiting for their opportunity to be included, to feel needed, to hear that, yes, you belong here. You will play a crucial role in this endeavor. But if you’ve given a yes, there’s no room for their yes. It’s lovely to be able to say no and hold space for someone else’s yes.
Rachael Adams (42:09.735)
so true because they’re honestly there probably is there probably are some women right now thinking well I’m not overwhelmed I’ve got so much time that I actually am looking for things to do I mean that is some people’s reality in different seasons of life that’s their truth and so maybe yeah that’s an excellent point your no could open up the door for somebody else’s yes very very good okay what is something you are loving right now
Jamie Erickson (42:37.218)
I love the changes of seasons and what they bring to my home, as I shift gears to fall recipes, clothes, and hobbies, and step into fall with anticipation. Although it can sometimes feel overwhelming to women, the change of season is a welcome one. If you flip the script and say, Yes, extra things are coming, but extra things are coming. And so I’m really enjoying shifting gears to a new season and bringing out some of my fall recipes, baking bread again, and showcasing some of my fun hand crafts because it’s seasonally appropriate. I’m just enjoying the changing of seasons.
Rachael Adams (43:26.687)
Well, me too. I already told you I made pumpkin bread, and then today at Bible study, we pulled out the pumpkin creamer. We did it. Today was the first day, and it felt good. All right. Well, I know Jamie, I want to stay connected with you. Listeners will want to use it to tell us how we can best do that.
Jamie Erickson (43:32.704)
Right. And I bet you didn’t do that three months ago because it wasn’t the time for that. The best way to find me is to go to my website. It’s jamierickson.com, and that’s where you can see my books, podcasts, and engage in a great conversation.
Rachael Adams (43:56.94)
Jamie is a J-A-M-I-E, and Erickson is E-R-I-C-K-S-O-N. Yes, okay. Well, would you do us the honor of praying for us as we close?
Jamie Erickson (44:10.272)
Absolutely. Lord, we just thank you so much for what you have given us to do. Please provide each listener with the wisdom to know what that is. And when we feel inundated with excellent opportunities and responsibilities, Lord, help us not feel overwhelmed. I pray that that would just, we would see that as an opportunity to hold open our hands to you calling upon you to give us the wisdom and discernment to know what is ours to say yes to, help us to do those things, allow us to dismiss the things that are not ours and give us the courage and the insight to know how we might best delegate those other things. Thank you to each listener. I pray that you would bless her today as she goes out and attempts to do exactly what we were talking about, to open her hands, be still, and know that you are God. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
Rachael Adams (45:04.643)
Amen. Well, Jamie, I feel less overwhelmed now and have many practical tips to implement in my day, and I hope everyone else is feeling the same way. So thanks for joining us.
Jamie Erickson (45:17.25)
It’s a pleasure.
Rachael Adams (45:20.083)
Thank you so much for listening to the Love Offering Podcast. I hope today’s conversation with Jamie encouraged and inspired you to quiet the chaos, mind what matters, and enjoy your life again. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend and leave a review. It helps others find the show and spreads the message of love even further. To connect with me, visit me on RachelKAdams.com. While you’re there, download the Love Offering Calendar, a free resource filled with daily ways to love those around you. Don’t forget to pick up a copy of my book, Everyday Prayers for Love, as well as Jamie’s newest release, Overwhelmed Mom, Quiet the Chaos, Mind What Matters, and Enjoy Your Life Again, available wherever books are sold—a big thank you to Life Audio for supporting this podcast. You can find more inspiring shows at lifeaudio.com. Thanks again for joining us today. Until next time, let’s make our lives an offering of love.
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