Her first day of gymnastics did not go as planned. She expected to have fun tumbling and make new friends, but instead, my daughter’s first class ended in tears of disappointment. The tumbling part had gone fine, but the making friends had not. In fact, no one had even attempted to talk to her.
On the way home, I gave her examples of how to initiate conversation, and we discussed how to have good friends you have to be a good friend. However, since she had just started the class, I told her we could try another class on a different day or at a different time. If that didn’t work, we could try another gymnastics studio altogether. Or even quit if she wanted. By the time we returned home, she still felt upset, but she also felt reassured by the knowledge that she had options.
When I retold the story to her father that night at dinner, he responded much differently than I had. “You can’t quit already. Push through and persevere. If you like gymnastics, keep at it and the friendships will come. Good relationships just take time,” he advised with tough love.
A wave of regret rose over me as I realized I’d given her the wrong advice. I was tempted to take away the pain and let her walk (or tumble) the easy road. But I’m learning what is easy is not always what is best.
This is an excerpt from a devotion published by Today Parenting under their parenting fails column. To read more about developing perseverance visit http://community.today.com/post/i-gave-her-the-wrong-advice
