Life can feel overwhelming sometimes, can’t it? In a world that constantly tells us to hustle, push harder, and fit the mold, it’s easy to forget that struggling isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a normal part of life.
That’s why I’m excited to share my latest conversation on The Love Offering Podcast with author Jennifer Renee Watson, who just released her book: What If You’re Doing Better Than You Think?: Finding Courage and Confidence When Life Gets Messy.
Jennifer offers a compassionate and practical perspective, showing us that our struggles can actually be invitations to care for ourselves and live more intentionally. She encourages us to return to who God designed us to be and rebuild a life worth living—one that works for us, not against us.
In our conversation, Jennifer will help you discover:
- Why slowing down is actually a sign of strength
- How to find peace and balance instead of succumbing to hyperproductivity
- Practical ways to support your mental health
- Signs your body is responding to stress
- A game plan for navigating life’s messy seasons
- When to reach out for support from loved ones, doctors, or counselors
- How to pace yourself for the long haul while tapping into God’s true purpose for you
If you’ve ever felt the pressure to do more than you can, this episode is for you. Tune in and let Jennifer’s insight help you breathe, reset, and find courage and confidence in the midst of life’s messiness.
With love,
Rachael
Summary
In this episode of the Love Offering Podcast, host Rachael Adams engages in a heartfelt conversation with guest Jennifer Renee Watson, an author and ministry leader. They discuss Jennifer’s new book, “What If You’re Doing Better Than You Think?” and explore themes of self-worth, grace, and mental health. Jennifer shares her personal journey of overcoming self-doubt and the societal pressures of perfectionism, emphasizing the importance of giving oneself grace and recognizing one’s inherent value. The conversation also touches on practical ways to care for mental health, the significance of community support, and the process of rediscovering one’s true self in alignment with God’s design.
Takeaways
If women would be a little bit nicer to themselves, we would feel better.
Our mental health would be better with self-care.
It’s a hall pass to take better care of yourself.
Engage in practices that promote healing and forgiveness.
Recognize that you are enough as you are.
Self-worth is crucial for mental well-being.
Taking care of oneself is not selfish, it’s necessary.
Healing from trauma requires self-compassion.
Forgiveness is a part of the self-care journey.
Thank God for the support we receive in our healing.
Chapters
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00:00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
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00:05:00 Jennifer’s Journey and New Book
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00:15:00 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Perfectionism
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00:25:00 The Importance of Grace
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00:35:00 Caring for Mental Health
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00:45:00 Rediscovering True Self
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00:55:00 Community Support and Encouragement
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01:05:00 Conclusion and Closing Thoughts
Transcript (AI Generated):
Rachael Adams (00:01.792)
Welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I’m your host, Rachel Adams, author of Everyday Prayers for Love, learning to love God, others, and even yourself. Each week, we dive into meaningful conversations about how to live out the greatest commandment, loving God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. Whether through inspiring stories, practical tips, or Biblical truths, I hope to encourage you to love boldly, live faithfully, and reflect God’s love in your everyday life.
My guest today is Jennifer Renee Watson. She is an author, speaker, and ministry leader passionate about helping women discover freedom, healing, and wholeness in Christ. Her newest book is titled “What If You’re Doing Better Than You Think?” Finding Courage and Confidence When Life Gets Messy. Well, hello Jennifer, and welcome back to the Love Offering Podcast.
Jennifer Watson (00:47.372)
Thank you so much for having me again.
Rachael Adams (00:50.166)
It’s been a minute. That’s what we were just saying. It’s been too long. And so I’m excited to catch up with you again. Since we last talked, probably six years ago, tell us about life now. What does life look like for you?
Jennifer Watson (01:04.696)
It looks like juggling, launching a book, working full-time, and doing a podcast. It looks really, really busy, but it’s good to enjoy this season.
Rachael Adams (01:18.178)
Where are you in your season of motherhood?
Jennifer Watson (01:20.738)
My girls are 20 and 22. So I call them, they’re adult babies. Cause they still like, you know, need to know who to call if they need to go to the doctor.
Rachael Adams (01:53.528)
Okay. And so this message, you’re doing better, or what if you’re doing better than you think. And I love how it’s, and I’m showing everybody, even though you probably, nobody can really see, but what if you’re doing better than you think, the what if is written kind of small and a little bit less. It should be in a different font and a different color. And so when you’re looking at it, you are like, you’re doing better than you think you are. And so I love that, that affirmation. And so did this come from your own wrestling and grappling with, like, I’m not doing very well.
Jennifer Watson (02:26.06)
Yeah, well, I mean, just listening to all of our friends, family, the women are so crazy hard on themselves. And I was going through the hardest season of my life. I mean, just felt like I was getting pummeled by the enemy and just life. And I’d be like, Am I doing OK? I’d look to my friends for affirmation: ‘Am I doing OK?’ And I realized I was doing so much better than I even thought. Like, I think that we’re so hard on ourselves, but sometimes getting out of bed is the bravest thing that we’ll do, and we just need to start counting the wins.
Rachael Adams (03:02.178)
Hmm. Yes. Well, before we hit record, I shared with you that I was at Bible study this morning. And, for those listening, I need to give this caveat. It seems like every day that you’re listening and tuning in right now, I’ve always been at Bible study, but it’s typically because I have Bible study on Thursdays. I usually have batch recordings of podcasts on Thursdays. So I’m not in Bible study every single day. I wanted to tell all the listeners that, because it seems like I always have a story to tell about Bible study, but that’s what’s most fresh on my mind. So anyway, today in Bible study was our very last day of Revelation, and one of the ladies shared, “I just don’t feel like I’m doing a good job.” Like, am I doing enough? And so we were all, as a table, in our small groups, like, affirming her, like, listen, this is how you’ve encouraged me. This is how you’ve loved me. Well, you’re doing so much better than you think that you are. And so, like just today, we were having this conversation, and we all admitted, like, gosh, we all feel like we’re falling short. Does this come from like, this societal expectation that everybody’s doing better than we are and this level of perfectionism, or where do you think the root of that is?
Jennifer Watson (04:28.91)
I think that when we struggle with that, it comes from the lie, “I am NOT enough,” you know, the enemy’s lie. So what I had learned is that my depression was telling me I’m not enough. My anxiety tells me I’m not doing enough, and so when we listen to those lies, and then, plus we’ve got like Everybody’s information coming to us all at once. We can see what everybody’s quote-unquote doing, and we have a comparison. Like before social media, we would just compare ourselves to maybe the person in the magazine or the person in Bible study with us who looked like they had it all together. But now we get to compare ourselves to everybody, and it’s easy to be like, ‘I’m tanking.’ I’m not doing this well. And it could be further from the truth.
Rachael Adams (05:21.966)
Yeah, well, I’m excited to get into more of this conversation, but we’re going to take a brief break to hear a word from today’s sponsor. And when we come back, we’ll talk about why it’s essential to give ourselves grace and stop striving for perfection.
Welcome back to the Love Offering podcast. I’m here with Jennifer Renee Watson. And before the break, we were talking about what inspired her to write What if you’re doing better than you think. So now let’s talk about what it means to give ourselves grace and rest in the truth that we really are doing better than we think. So talk to us about grace.
Jennifer Watson (05:52.908)
I think that grace is just the thing that we give to others so easily. And we’re stingy with it when it comes to ourselves. And so just letting ourselves unwind, unplug, do nothing with zero guilt, and rest. Jesus knew when to take his exit strategy and rest and nap. Like he knew what to do, I think there are times in our lives when we need to extend grace to ourselves and say, “You get to rest.” You’ve done enough. Good job. Good job, mama. You know, you’ve done enough. So just sit and be, because we want to hustle harder, and we’re just not geared for that. That’s not how we’re wired. Yes, we can do a lot and do a lot for God. But once we start extending ourselves grace, we’re going to settle into our seasons a lot better in life.
Rachael Adams (06:49.9)
Just makes me think of, like, on the cross, Jesus said, It’s done, it’s finished. And even in Revelation, we were just reading today, it’s finished. And one of the very last phrases that John uses in Revelation is grace. And so it is vital that we extend ourselves that grace and realize we are human and we can’t do it all on our own. We have to have the Holy Spirit working in and through us to do all that we expect of ourselves. Like we are limited human beings, God is limitless. And so to truly lean on Him. And we expect ourselves to be like all things to everyone at all times. But we’re not God. That’s God’s job, right?
Jennifer Watson (07:28.481)
Yeah, right. That’s God’s job. We don’t have to do that. But it’s funny how often this is the story we hear echoed throughout the generations, and our friends going, gosh, you know, I need to be doing more.
Rachael Adams (07:48.975)
Hmm. Yes. Well, I feel like you’re the title alone. What if you’re doing better than you think? It’s like the sigh of relief, and it’s almost like you’re already giving us this affirmation. Like you’re cheering us on, coming alongside us, and being like, you’ve got this. You can do this with God, of course. And so, what do you hope readers hear when they read those words?
Jennifer Watson (08:22.509)
I hope that they, like what you said, feel a sigh of relief just to go, all right, like I’m gonna be okay. Maybe they’re in a messy season. Perhaps they’re struggling with their self-worth, or maybe their husband has lost his job and they just don’t know what to do next. I just think we go through a lot of things and a lot of trauma, and in this world we will have trouble, like we know that’s scriptural, but he’s overcome everything. And if women started talking to themselves a little bit nicer, we would feel better. Our mental health would be better. So, it really is just a hall pass to take better care of yourself, to deal with whatever you’re having to release, whether it’s trauma, whether it’s forgiveness, like whatever it is, like keep doing those things, but just know, you’re enough. You’re enough as is, you know? Like, thank God he doesn’t leave us that way. But there’s, we’re doing so much better than we think. And if we could start saying that to ourselves, then we’ll relax and give ourselves more grace.
Rachael Adams (09:35.425)
Yeah, it’s almost like a mantra. I can almost think back to when you were having that season of overwhelm or anxiety about whatever you’re doing, and just like, okay, I’m doing better than I think I am. I’m doing better than I am. That’s so encouraging. And in fact, you know, I shared about the woman who was brave enough to say, I just don’t think that I’m doing a good job right now at all the things that God is asking me to do, or maybe what’s required of me as a Christian woman right now in my life. And honestly, every woman around the table, there were six of us, and each woman was like, I feel the same way. You know, you’re not alone in this. And that’s what’s so important, and that’s what’s so valuable about what you’re doing, is like, okay, this has been my experience. You’re not alone in feeling the way you are. So why do I think it’s so essential for us to normalize the truth in our church and in our homes?
Jennifer Watson (10:26.089)
There’s a standard we can uphold, or the self we portray, but our children are watching. My adult daughters are watching. And when we’re authentic, we let others do the same. And that’s where we, as women, want to establish safety in our circles. And so often, we can set ourselves up for failure. And so this is just a way that we can kind of take a deep breath and go, all right, God, I don’t have to know what’s next. I don’t have to know the next step to trust you. And so, the hope is that women will keep moving forward, but sometimes it’s falling forward and getting back up and saying, you know what, you saw that? My daughters hear me say, You know what, that was, I did not handle that right. You know, there’s just no mask. There’s no pretense. It’s just, it’s just real. And so because it’s real, they can come to me when they’re struggling.
Rachael Adams (11:38.691)
Yeah. You know, you said something just now, you said you’re just moving forward and sometimes falling forward. And so it’s really important that we’re not just rushing through or just busying ourselves or running this, this race. But like you say, that slowing down is actually an indication of strength, and that really does feel so counter-cultural, doesn’t it? So explain what you mean by that and how you have learned to embrace a slower, more intentional pace in your life.
Jennifer Watson (12:09.004)
Productivity is something that we all strive for. We’re making our lists all the time. And so, but we are so busy, and when we are so busy and keeping our schedules and keeping our mind on whatever the task is, we can’t really be alone and be still before the Lord and go, hey, you know, there’s something in my heart that, you know, I’m struggling with. Lord, me, you know, help me figure out how to walk through this and give me strength.
Jennifer Watson (12:38.486)
We’re not taking the time to listen because we’re too busy doing. And it goes into the whole Mary and Martha thing. So slowing down is really the flex in that you don’t have to be producing all the time. We’re not meant for that. The seasons change, and the trees are barren. We have to have seasons where we’re just present in our lives, doing the bare minimum and what’s needed in that season, without making ourselves feel bad about it.
Rachael Adams (13:12.918)
Yeah. Okay. So elaborate on that. So what does it look like to rest in God rather than striving for his approval or success? Honestly, I find myself doing that like God. Are you proud of me? Like, am I doing enough for you? And then, like, people looking for their approval, too.
Jennifer Watson (13:28.926)
Yeah. Right? Well, like, like you said, on the cross, he said it is finished. And so it’s like the striving can stop the strike, you know, like the striving can stop. We don’t have to keep beating ourselves up. So what we do instead of saying, you know what? I’m going to do this, this, and this, and then I’ll feel better. You know, like, when you released your first book. If I release my first book, then I will feel like, you know, I’ve done something.
There’s always that next level and that next step, but stillness and settling in, and just saying, right now, I want you just to be. That’s hard, and it’s also the most liberating, freeing thing you can do because then you know your faith and our salvation is not based on works. Yes, we do great works, but it’s based on his finished work on the cross.
Rachael Adams (14:26.188)
Yeah, it’s sweet of the Lord. Just this morning, I was listening to the radio on my way to church, and Just Be came on. It’s a song by Kim Walker Smith. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that, but it is the, and I won’t sing it for everybody because that would turn everybody off right now. But I’d encourage everybody to go and listen to that song because it speaks so much to the truth that you’re talking about right now. And so I can’t wait to continue the conversation, but we’re going to take another brief break to hear a word from our sponsor. And when we come back, we’ll talk about some practical ways to care for our mental health and listen to what our bodies are telling us.
Rachael Adams (15:06.894)
Welcome back to the Love Offering Podcast. I’m here again with Jennifer Renee Watson. And before the break, we were talking about finding peace and balance. And now we’re going to get practical and talk about caring for our mental health and learning to listen to our bodies when they’re asking for rest. And so, Jennifer, you share practical ways to support our mental health. What are a few, maybe small, realistic steps that we can take to care for ourselves?
Jennifer Watson (15:28.704)
We have to have one person who knows enough dirt on us that they know you. Like they know the pieces of you, the places in you that struggle. We have to have our friends that we check in with. We have to say it out loud, I am struggling with my mental health, or I’m struggling with anxiety. I’m struggling with depression. Say it out loud and have someone with you, because what we want to do is isolate. And that’s the worst thing that we can do. So having those check-ins, like How am I really feeling? Like, am I masking? Am I numbing out with Netflix, ice cream, or busyness? Am I trying to produce? Like, how am I really? And do those check-ins. Another thing is just making appointments with yourself. I had a mentor who really spoke into my life, and she said, “Jennifer, you need to set appointments with yourself.” And it really was appointments with God and time to rest, and she’s like, and keep those appointments. And so it just really taught me about boundaries and just knowing what I can handle in this season. And if we can’t handle things, we have people that we can go to, and you know, we have people we can lean on, and they’re waiting for us to do that because there’s no way that we would shame them for coming and needing us, right? So it’s that same thing of being brave and vocal about it, and then finding your person who knows precisely how you’re doing in your mental health. They have to know.
Rachael Adams (17:04.376)
So you also write about how our bodies tell us that we’re under stress. And it’s funny that you say this and talk because even last week I was with a group of people and somebody said to me, Rachel, you look really stressed out. I can tell that you’ve got a lot on your mind, and it is like it’s all over our faces, isn’t it? And all of our bodies, and we can just feel the fatigue of it. And so talk to us about some clues that we can look for and how we can respond to stress in healthier ways.
Jennifer Watson (17:32.392)
So, I hold all of the tension in my shoulders. So, like your body just starts to ache because you can’t relax. I can remember going, relaxing used to be easier. Like, why is it so hard? Even took an exercise class, and they were like, You’re just gonna lie there. The hardest thing for me to do is just lie there. And so our bodies tell us it could be digestion. Our stomach hurts, headache, you know, all of these signs are saying, you know what, I, I’m not feeling well, and I need to pay better attention to my body and know how to rest. And that means learning how to relax, learning how to unclench that jaw. We know what we do when we’re really stressed, and just like check in with your body. Okay. Like I’m feeling stressed right here. What do I need to do about it? Do I need to take a walk? Do I need to take a hot bath? I need to rest and put this chore down for a little bit. So pay attention and then permit yourself to relax when you need to.
Rachael Adams (18:38.75)
So you talked about the importance of having a person to talk to. What about doctors and counselors? You know, it’s one thing to have somebody just, you know, a spouse or a daughter or just a friend or but what about medical professional help? Talk to us about that.
Jennifer Watson (18:54.411)
Yeah, so I wrote in my it a lot about this, as well as I had to come to this moment where I received help, in that I started taking medication. So I jokingly say I’m in the dedicated medicated category, like I love God, but I need meds. I’ve gone through tons of trauma, lost two babies, you know, my body’s been through it. And so I needed not only to have I sought out doctors to walk with me, but they knew everything that was going on. They know when I’ve been in trauma, they know all of that because I really have those strong relationships with my medical team. And then also I have a therapist. Sometimes we need to outsource, and we can have a friend, but there are going to be times when they’re not qualified to get us out of PTSD. It’s going to overwhelm them. So there are just times where you’re going to have to pivot and ask for help in a bigger way. And that might mean paying for counseling or asking someone to go with you to the doctor because you’re afraid—just things like that. Yeah, we’re going to have to realize that there’s no shame. There’s no shame in taking care of our mental health. It’s the same as our heart, our teeth, all of it. Like it all matters, but our hearts and our minds are precious. And sometimes we need professionals to walk us through how to move forward.
Rachael Adams (20:37.996)
Yeah. It goes back to what we were talking about earlier about normalizing even that, like just being open to share about how impactful and helpful that can be, and that there isn’t shame. So one of the central messages of your book is returning to who God designed us to be. So what does that rediscovery process look like for someone who feels lost or worn down by life?
Jennifer Watson (21:03.243)
So a story I tell is that a friend reached out to me and said, “You seem more like the girl you used to be before you became who you thought you were supposed to be.” And I was like, I mean, before the world told me who I was supposed to be, before my roles told me who I was supposed to be. So I’m going back to the things that you used to love, the things that used to make you laugh, the things that put a spark in your heart, going back to those things, because we’re trying so hard, but there’s so much more of life that’s in the abundance life of Christ that we don’t have to keep jumping through the hoops. So going back home means, who am I really? Who’s Rachel really? You know? What do I love? What do I not, you know, have? I haven’t even asked myself what I want to do. You know, when people are like, What do you want to do? Moms always say, Well, it’s fine. Whatever you want to do. Like, I had to realize I didn’t even know what I wanted to do because I had always been handing that off to please everybody. I had to take some time to relearn what I really liked and wanted, and to pursue those passions instead of doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing.
Rachael Adams (22:28.822)
Wow. That’s really powerful. And it makes me think even just as a mom, and you start to lose yourself in even I’m willing Kate’s mom now, and I’m Brian’s wife. And you do you, there is a sense of, now that my kids are driving and have such busy lives and doing all the things, it’s like, wait a minute, I have time. What do I want to, how do I want to spend my time? And so I’m in that season of rediscovery myself. Who do I want to spend time with, and how do I want to spend my time? So yeah, that really hits home to me. So, being mindful of the woman listening right now who may feel super tired, anxious, or unsure about her next step. What encouragement would you offer her today?
Jennifer Watson (23:18.869)
To just quiet your heart and know that God loves you so much. So whether you do the following task or you don’t on your list, He’s so for you. He loves you. There’s nothing that you could do more of to make Him love you more. He just, you’re already so beloved and treasured that you don’t have to strive. You can just receive.
Rachael Adams (23:46.863)
Mm hmm. And that is such again, like an exhale, for women who are just so busy and overwhelmed with the tasks before them. So let’s refocus on this idea of perfectionism because perfection was in the Garden of Eden. And I do believe that God set that in our hearts on some level, like this yearning and striving for perfection. But I think it’s gotten really jaded for lack of a better word, or maybe it’s social media, but we’re just, it’s this, this like you, and you even mentioned that this idea of constantly leveling up, and there’s always something more or better. And it makes me think of Eden, too, how that was the enemy’s way of deceiving Eve. We have every, you have perfection in the garden, and yet I’m going to make you believe that there’s something better for you. Does that evoke any thought in you?
Jennifer Watson (24:39.902)
Yeah, well, you’re right. If you are trying to be perfect, you’re going to be really miserable. Like, perfection is not possible. But pursuing Christ, we can stay in tune with who he wants us to be. But this whole idea of perfection, all that is, is really anxiety dressed up, and I have to have everything together.
Rachael Adams (25:24.754)
That’s interesting. That’s something that I’m going to dig deeper into my own heart for. So I encourage everybody else to do that as well. Well, you mentioned that we’re beloved. And so one of the questions I’ve been asking all of my guests this season is, Is there a biblical concept of love that applies to this topic?
Jennifer Watson (25:42.507)
Oh goodness, let’s see. This one, Jeremiah 31:3, says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love and drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Nothing about that makes me feel like I need to jump through a hoop. Like his everlasting love, that’s what we can relax into. He’s drawn you with unfailing kindness? That’s who God is. That’s how he loves us.
Rachael Adams (26:17.294)
Yes, well, the unfailing part, like we are going to fail, and he knows we are, but he is unfailing, and I’m so thankful for that truth. So Jennifer, tell us something you are loving right now.
Jennifer Watson (26:24.163)
Yes. Yeah.
Jennifer Watson (26:32.904)
I’m loving this, the weather. It’s fall, so that sounds so basic. But just getting back outside. Winter’s when a lot of people struggle. So embracing the sunlight, doing some things, scheduling fun things, and adding that to my life has just been so, so fun. So I’m making a lot of, like, friend dates and doing some really fun things this season to remind me of how much is out there to enjoy.
Rachael Adams (27:06.668)
Yes, well, it goes back to who I am and what I want to do with my time, that rediscovery of what I actually enjoy, and so I would I’m gonna spend some time honestly thinking about that as well, and I hope that the listeners do as well. So I know I want to stay connected with you, and listeners will, too. Tell us how we can best do that.
Jennifer Watson (27:28.426)
Yes, you can find me at jenniferreneewatson.com. You can also find me on Facebook. It’s jenniferreneewriter, but if you put all of it in, that’s really long, but hopefully you’ll find me. And then on Insta, it’s just at jenniferwatson. I would love to connect with everybody and just encourage them along on their journey better.
Rachael Adams (27:48.983)
Yeah. To tell them they’re doing better than they think they are. If you need affirmation, reach out to Jennifer. She will, she will cheer you on and champion you. I love that. Well, could you pray for us as we close today?
Jennifer Watson (28:04.405)
Lord, I thank you so much that you are with us, that you are for us. God, I thank you for your everlasting love and your unfailing kindness towards us. God, I speak to the tired woman and I pray over her rest and peace and a life far from striving and just resting in who she has been created to be, and that’s simply yours.
God, remind every single person who’s listening that they are yours and already loved beyond measure. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Rachael Adams (28:41.454)
Amen. Jennifer, thank you for being my guest. I have been affirmed and encouraged by our conversation today, so I appreciate your time.
Jennifer Watson (28:46.986)
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. You’re so precious and easy to talk to.
Rachael Adams (28:54.38)
Thank you. And thank you, everyone, for listening today to the love offering podcast. I hope today’s conversation encouraged and inspired you to love God, love others, and even love yourself a little more. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend and leave a review. It helps others find the show and spreads the message of love even further. To connect with me visit me on my website at rachelkadams.com. While you’re there, be sure to download the Love Offering Calendar, a free resource filled with simple daily ways to love those around you. You can also take the What Makes You Lovable quiz to discover your unique gifts and qualities that reflect God’s love to the world. And don’t forget to pick up a copy of my book, Everyday Prayers for Love, and Jennifer’s book, What If You’re Doing Better Than You Think? Finding courage and confidence when life gets messy.
Both are available now wherever books are sold, and we pray they remind you of God’s gentle grace and ongoing work in your life. A special thank you to Life Audio for supporting this podcast and making it possible. To find more great podcasts, visit LifeAudio.com. Thanks again for joining us today. Until next time, let’s make our lives an offering of love.
