Your Job is to Serve, Not Fix by Susan Binkley

by Rachael Adams | Nov 7, 2024 | The Love Offering Guest Blog Series

In 2003, I founded Blue Monarch, a residential recovery program for women and their children, despite having no background in addiction or recovery. A few years before, God gave me a detailed plan for the ministry in a powerful dream, but I was totally unprepared for the hardships ahead. Over the years, the emotional and physical toll became overwhelming, and by 2012, I knew I needed a break. What started as a month-long “sabbatical” at the beach, with just my dog Lulu for company, soon turned into a transformative experience—one that would forever change how I led Blue Monarch and understood my purpose.

I took off the month of January and spent most of that time on the beach, at a surprisingly affordable place right on the ocean. It was perfect. Other than an occasional fisherman, I rarely spotted anyone as far as I could see.

As soon as I arrived, I felt compelled to make a list of things to accomplish during my sabbatical, which took up an entire page. Next, I explored the beach and collected a bucketful of shells, but immediately dumped them out because it felt excessive. I should limit myself to only one shell a day. What was that about? Clearly, I needed to learn how to relax— and indulge.

Despite my distorted perception of why I was there, this trip quickly became a mountaintop experience. I spent most of that time in constant prayer and felt the presence of God in powerful ways that sometimes brought me to tears. There were days when I didn’t speak to another living soul other than my husband, so he’d know I was still alive.

On this trip, I wanted to develop a greater love for my Bible. Although I had grown up in the church and as a child could recite the names of the books of the Bible by heart, I had never really enjoyed my Bible. So, I asked God to help me. And, oh my word, did He.

Every morning, I jumped out of bed at 5:30 a.m. and rushed outside to make sure I didn’t miss the magnificent sunrise. But the strangest thing happened as Lulu and I walked the beach each morning. The numbers of a specific chapter and verse would come to me, again and again, until I hurried back and anxiously grabbed my Bible to see what it said. Surprisingly, it always related to exactly what was on my heart that day.

The first morning this happened, I was walking the beach feeling a little guilty for taking so much time off when suddenly “Ecclesiastes 3” jumped into my head for no reason. It seemed like such a random book of the Bible, so out of curiosity I looked it up. It was the passage about how there is a time for everything, which I interpreted to include taking time off. After this I tore up my list of “Things to Accomplish on My Sabbatical” and gave myself permission to keep, without shame, every last shell I found the least bit fascinating.

The next morning, I walked the beach feeling downright exhausted from carrying the load of hundreds of women and children for whom I had felt responsible over the past nine years. There were many times when it no longer felt like a joy and privilege but an enormous burden, especially when things didn’t turn out the way I thought they should.

Out of nowhere, “Numbers 11:11–15” popped into my head, and I thought it had to be a mistake. Wasn’t the book of Numbers all about numbers? Surely, either I had heard God wrong or perhaps he had accidentally given me the wrong verse.

Much to my surprise, Numbers 11:11–15 showed me that Moses had felt just as burdened and overwhelmed as I did. That was so comforting. I felt like God was telling me, “It’s okay that you feel this way.”

Toward the end of my sabbatical, as I felt stronger and healthier, I asked God to show me how I might avoid getting so exhausted again. This time the answer came in a clear and powerful directive that forever changed the course of how we operate at Blue Monarch.

“Your job is to serve, not fix. To love, not judge.”

I began thinking back on some of the most exhausting ordeals we had experienced at Blue Monarch, and in every single incident we were indeed trying to fix someone, and perhaps even judging them, which was hard to admit. I realized that by starting each day trying to fix people, we were bound to end the day feeling we had failed, because we cannot fix people. But God can. No wonder I was so exhausted. I was trying to do God’s job.

I also saw that by starting each day with the goal to serve, we would end every single day knowing that yes, we had served the women and children of Blue Monarch that day. And served them well.

I brought this message back to our staff, and when we find ourselves overwhelmed and defeated, we ask ourselves, “Wait. Are we trying to serve this person? Or are we trying to fix this person?” This usually puts everything into perspective.

We would all rather fix. By fixing we get to be in charge and determine what’s best for someone. But by simply serving, the outcome may fall way short of what we want, and our hearts may get broken in the process.

This is never clearer than when we lose a resident before she has accomplished all we had in mind for her. We want her to drive out with an exciting job in place, a new home in a wonderful neighborhood, and happy children by her side. However, sometimes as we watch them drive off, we must accept that by serving them we may have stopped the madness for a while in a safe and loving home, and they may have avoided a disaster only God knows about. We may have nurtured seeds that otherwise might never have been planted.

What I have come to realize is this: We can’t fix anyone – only God can do that and by trying, we are taking control of something that doesn’t belong to us. But we can always serve and love, which is what God really needs us to do first – so His healing can begin. And in my experience, His fix will always be better than my plan anyway.

About the Author:

For the past 20 years, Blue Monarch founder and president Susan Binkley has worked alongside nearly a thousand women and their children in the ministry’s sobriety and rehabilitation efforts. Blue Monarch’s highly unique and successful program focuses on the child’s recovery as much as the mom’s and prepares women to parent their children as nurturing and sober mothers through a wide range of services that have been proven to help residents find freedom from addiction and achieve healthy independence. In addition, Blue Monarch makes Out of the Blue Granola—an all-natural, hand-crafted product that uses local wildflower honey. Out of the Blue is distributed through Whole Foods and Publix, as well as other retailers. This on-site employment provides residents with valuable job skills while also earning an income. Binkley, Blue Monarch, and Out of the Blue Granola have been featured in numerous media outlets such as The Tennessee Magazine; Nashville Christian Family; a commercial featuring Kevin Harrington (of Shark Tank) that reached HGTV, Food Network, and ESPN audiences; Nashville Fit Magazine, WZTV’s 2024 Hometown Hero, and many others.