“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16
As a missionary overseas, it is part of our work to love others the way Jesus Christ loved us. Living in rural Brazil as an American Dutch couple, we were often handed problems that needed to be solved, asked to give comfort to those who suffered loss, asked to feed the hungry, and asked to give help to those who are the most vulnerable in society, the children. We learned that in making a habit of helping those who could never repay, God would bless us with a greater reward.
There were days when I didn’t have anything left to give but a half-hearted smile; the burden was heavy. Just when I thought I had seen every bad thing that had happened in the world, I saw something worse. It overwhelmed me until I learned more about the love of God. His love is higher than any mountain, deeper than any pit, and wider than the sea. There is no end to His love. When my human love ran dry, His perfect love was a fountain, springing up in me.
When my husband, Paul and I were called to plant a new church, we were given a handful of people that couldn’t get along. Fights often broke out during leadership meetings. I always listened to both sides of the story, but sometimes it was a matter of two very different people with different customs who couldn’t understand each other, like an old married couple who picked on one another. One time, there were two very strong women with opposing views who didn’t love one another or even like one another. I struggled with what to do. How do we as brothers and sisters love one another as the Bible commands us to do? I wrestled with it myself as I tried to teach the women to love one another. My goal for the women was a sisterhood, not a competition where jealousy flashed at one another. I wanted to see the women root for one another, and to pray for one another, baking pies for women who had given birth. My desire for the women’s ministry was to have meetings in each other’s homes where we could share the Word with each other. It didn’t happen, though, until I came to the end of myself.
Jesus is our example. He laid down His life to death on a cross, but He also served others while He was alive. He was patient and kind with the disciples, even going so far as to love and serve His enemies. He loved and served Judas. He didn’t hold back or exclude Judas from the table of the Last Supper when He knew that Judas would betray Him.
Through this experience of planting a new church and forming a women’s ministry, I realized that I still had much to learn about God’s unconditional love, the kind of love that blesses and receives enemies at my table. I went through a dark valley when several young women who I had served with an open heart full of love, turned on me, spoke ill of me with hateful words. It was hard to not retaliate, but to show love and forgiveness. I was comforted studying Christ’s example in the Word, but what struck me the most was the realization that Jesus knew exactly how I felt when no one else seemed to understand. Jesus knew, and His understanding of my pain melted the frostiness of my bitter heart. His example of love showed the way ahead for me.
I lifted my eyes to the hills and asked the Lord to help me in adoration and surrender before Him. When the Israelites saw the fire coming down, and the glory of the Lord filled the temple, they knelt on the pavement, with their faces to the ground; they worshiped Him and gave thanks, saying, “He is good, His love endures forever.” They realized that God longed for their presence even more than they longed for His.
The Lord’s steadfast eternal love caused me to praise Him, and it caused me to love others, even those who wished me harm. Not long after that place of surrender, I began to see changes in the women of our church. They began to feed the hungry in a needy neighborhood; they blessed young mothers who needed baby clothes. They joined me in prayer, celebrating others’ accomplishments, and they wrapped their arms around new believers.
We cannot love others if we don’t understand the love that God has for us. We will reach the limit in our own human love. We must rely on God’s love first, otherwise, we are in danger of only showing a false love, and that can be spotted a mile away. A world of hurting people has seen enough of fake love, the stuff that manipulates and is based on conditions, refusing to go the extra mile. When God fills our own hearts with love, that same love flows like a stream to everyone we meet. It might be expressed in tiny ways, through a smile, a hug, a handshake, or it can be expressed in greater ways, comforting someone at a funeral, helping rake leaves, or babysitting toddlers. Through His Holy Spirit, love can be expressed in many different creative ways.
The following is an excerpt from Love in Full Bloom, An Anthology of Poetry and Stories, published by Ambassador International with authors from around the world each writing about God’s love.
Love sails without the wind. Love is soft and sweet, but it is also a mountain of sinewy strength. Love is action. Love is hope when there is no food or money to buy it. Love nourishes and fuels the machine. Love is continuous with the strength of a stream wearing down the jagged rocks with time. It is unstoppable. Love is kind; but it is also open, blurting out a truth of warning to an undistracted ear. Love accepts the different, the outcast, the face that no one wants to look at. Love is a fragrance that hangs in the room.
Though no word is said, it lingers. Love is a gift with nothing in exchange. It is steadfast, even though it might not be requited. Love is quietness in reaction to the argumentative. Love is doing things, and love is words. Love is the dream, the hurt, and the healing. Love is simple, but complicated. It is longsuffering, and it is infinite. It is for the brave and the strong-hearted. Few people do it well, though the whole world wants to feel it. Through Jesus Christ’s obedience on the cross, we have the gift of discovering what love truly is.
Love in Full Bloom, p.7, Introduction, written by Jill van Opstal-Popa, published by Ambassador International.
{If you enjoyed this blog post, you might also like this episode of The Love Offering Podcast, where Rachael chats with Christie Thomas about how gentleness isn’t simply about having a pleasant personality—it’s about becoming more like Christ. She explains that gentleness isn’t weakness at all. It’s strength under control—holding back power for the sake of another person. You can listen to the episode here.}
About the Author:
Jill van Opstal-Popa received Jesus Christ as her Savior right before her eighteenth birthday around Valentine’s Day. She went to Bible college, then did a short-term mission with YWAM, Amsterdam, where she met her husband, Paul. Together, they have served in missions for thirty-five years, mainly in Brazil. Throughout her years, Jesus has been her best friend, and she falls more in love with Him each day. She is an ordinary person who was changed through the extraordinary grace of God, whose love goes higher than any mountain, deeper than any pit, and wider than any sea. Her first book with Ambassador International, called Finding a Happy Home: A Journey of Faith and Redemption,” is available wherever books are sold.
