“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
My grandfather was dying.
As I raced to catch a late-night flight from Florida to my home in Houston, my mind flooded with memories of this man I had called Paw-Paw for nearly half a century.
An only child, his boyhood was stolen in the shadow of the Great Depression and World War II. He suffered indignity as the son of the town drunk. He suffered the disgrace of his parent’s divorce at a time carrying a sentence of social stigma and abject poverty. PawPaw escaped and rescued his mother as a first-generation college student. He became an attorney, judge, councilman, mayor, and school board president, among many other community service roles.
He was not an easy man to know. Jovial on the surface and quick to discuss politics, underneath was an invulnerable man of few words and even fewer feelings. PawPaw’s soul was a deep well that often brought forth understated gifts of surprising depth. He was quietly generous with money and free legal services. Early in his career, he was jaded by a pastor’s request to facilitate unethical business dealings. All too familiar with betrayal and abandonment, he stopped going to church although he did not abandon his own faith.
When I was 19, escalating conflict with my parents over my choice to attend community college to become a nurse erupted at a point of crisis. When my grandmother invited me into their home, PawPaw never said a word. His tacit approval hung calmly in the air, buoyed by each puff on his pipe. We never had an emotional connection through conversation, but he silently gave me a check for my first year of college. He quietly went to the courthouse to file the necessary paperwork when I encountered legal trouble. With no fanfare, he bought me a steak dinner after graduation.
Back in the present, I exited my flight and my world as a successful nurse leader and entered his nursing home room. As I crossed the threshold in the wee, still hours of the night, I became 19 again. I was young and unsure of myself. Our shared experience as the first man and woman to get doctoral degrees in our family simply didn’t matter at that moment. His breathing was labored and his face conveyed pain and suffering. I put my hand on his forehead and with my face inches from his, gently said, “PawPaw.” His eyes opened briefly in recognition and a smile crossed his face but was quickly replaced by worry and something else I didn’t recognize at first. It was fear. I realized in these last moments of his life, he bore the burden of wondering if he’d done enough… if he was enough.
At that moment, God put a simple love offering of spiritual reassurance in my hands to bear his burden in this moment of death. I told him, “PawPaw, I’m confident when you open your eyes again, you will be in Heaven and you will see Jesus.” I prayed with him. And then I sang Jesus Loves Me, followed by other familiar hymns. Tears streamed from the corners of his eyes. His breathing eased. I helped my grandmother come across the hall from her room to sit at his bedside. I bore witness to the burden of their goodbyes after 67 years of marriage. I heard her invite him to their special place by a fountain, saying, “You gave me my first kiss and I’m going to give you your last.” I held my grandmother as she cried and held PawPaw’s hand.
Bearing one another’s burdens is a sacred privilege. In God’s amazing grace, it’s a gift to the giver as well as the receiver. The law of Christ is summed up in loving God and loving others.
As I left, the words of an old hymn echoed in my heart…
I must tell Jesus all of my trials;
I cannot bear these burdens alone;
In my distress He kindly will help me;
He ever loves and cares for His own.
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About the Author:
Dr. Jessica Peck is a seasoned pediatric nurse practitioner, a nursing professor at Baylor University, and a mom of four teens. Dr. Peck is a recognized and award-winning international nurse leader and anti-trafficking advocate who advises the U.S. Congress and influences state legislation. She served as President of the National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners and is Texas Nurse Practitioner of the Year. She is a regular contributor for parenting magazines and a frequent guest on national radio, television, and other media. She is the author of Behind Closed Doors: A Guide for Parents and Teens to Navigate Through Life’s Toughest Issues. Connect with Dr. Peck on her website drnursemama.com and listen to her podcast Dr. Nurse Mama. Feel free to follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
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