Are you tired of up-and-down feelings stealing your peace, sabotaging your relationships, and filling your mind with self-defeating thoughts? What if you had a proven emotional management tool to biblically respond to your feelings with compassion and clarity? Join us for today’s episode to discover three simple steps to manage emotions, reduce stress, improve decision-making, and grow closer to God.
Certified Christian life coach and award-winning podcast host Alicia Michelle is on the show chatting about her book Emotional Confidence. She shares how to effectively implement the method she’s taught tens of thousands into an ongoing lifestyle practice to manage emotions for God’s glory. Through a biblical, scientifically based method, she will show you how to:
- handle emotional overwhelm, overthinking, and avoidance
- acknowledge feelings without judgment
- process emotions through God’s clarifying lens of truth
- courageously choose a scriptural response
Tune in to discover practical ways to process emotions confidently for better relationships, spiritual growth, and lasting calm.
Summary
In this conversation, Rachael Adams and Alicia Michelle explore the significance of emotions in our lives, emphasizing the importance of emotional confidence. Alicia shares her journey of understanding emotions through a blend of science and scripture, introducing her three-step method: Acknowledge, Discern, Decide (ADD). They discuss how this method can be applied to negative and positive emotions, the impact of emotions on relationships, and the necessity of self-awareness in managing feelings. The conversation highlights the role of God in navigating emotions and the importance of loving oneself and others through emotional challenges.
Takeaways
Emotions are a God-given aspect of our humanity.
Emotional confidence involves knowing how to handle emotions when they arise.
Combining science and scripture provides a holistic approach to understanding emotions.
The ADD method helps in processing emotions effectively.
Acknowledging emotions is the first step in managing them.
Discernment involves identifying truth from lies in our feelings.
Deciding how to respond to emotions requires courage and faith.
Emotions can significantly impact our relationships and parenting.
Regular emotional check-ins can prevent feelings from boiling over.
Loving ourselves and others through emotions is essential for healthy relationships.
Chapters
00:00 Understanding Emotions and Emotional Confidence
13:05 The Science and Scripture Connection
26:07 The ADD Method: Acknowledge, Discern, Decide
38:50 Emotions in Relationships and Parenting
Transcript:
Rachael Adams (00:01.265)
Well, hello, Alicia, and welcome to the Love Offering Podcast. I’m so happy to have you.
Alicia Michelle (00:05.884)
Hey, thank you so much for having me here today. It’s awesome to be here.
Rachael Adams (00:10.077)
So, today is all about emotions. I consider myself an emotional person. I know God has given us our emotions for a reason. Would you consider yourself an emotional person as well?
Alicia Michelle (00:19.598)
Yeah.
Alicia Michelle (00:24.694)
yeah, absolutely. There’s that term, I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but an HSP, highly sensitive person. That’s definitely who I am. And I didn’t realize that for a long time until I started learning about emotions. And I’m sure you’ll hear part of the journey as we talk. But it made a lot of sense once I realized that this was how God made some of us. And I could love myself the way he loved me through that when I figured that out.
Rachael Adams (00:53.501)
Well, I’m excited that you will give me that same confidence. Your new book is titled Emotional Confidence. So, I’m going to ask a similar question: Have you always been confident? Because I have not.
Alicia Michelle (00:57.642)
Yeah.
Alicia Michelle (01:07.808)
Hmm, no. I’ve always wanted to try hard, do the right thing, and work hard, but confidence has had to be developed, and it has only deepened as I’ve deepened my relationship with God. The book talks about emotional confidence, which means not expecting a problem or never having these emotional ups and downs, but the confidence of knowing what to do with them when they come and who to go to them for when they come. So, having the ability to say, okay, I’m not surprised that we are feeling all these things again, but I know how to handle them, and I can move forward because of that. Confidence is constantly flexing and changing, but it is rooted and related to how much we know Christ and his love for us.
Rachael Adams (02:07.321)
Absolutely. Your subtitles contain three simple steps to manage emotions with science and scripture, and I love that you combine these concepts of God’s Word and science. That is such a unique and special pair that gives validity to the head and heart in many ways. So why do you think that this pair is so essential?
Alicia Michelle (02:33.826)
This is the thing that needs to be talked about right now. And I’m glad you also recognize that because many people speak of emotions from a new age standpoint or just like a worldly standpoint. We have these emotions, and this is what’s happening in our body, and that’s okay. Some people talk about it from a biblical standpoint, saying we must believe or think about the truth. And it’s like, what if we could understand that God made our emotions to help us understand and respond to this world and each other and that while emotions aren’t necessarily holy, they can be an expression of us and a way to connect to God? What if we could learn how to use our body the way he made it to put us in a place where we could work through what we feel so that we can connect to God, so that we can better move through them versus just shutting them down, saying they’re bad, or ignoring the God factor altogether. So I think combining both helps the Christians, the Christian church in general, and even those who aren’t Christians, but just knowing this is how God made our body. We can work with that to better understand Him, how He’s made us, and how He’s, you know, how we are responding to this world. So there’s a freedom in that. And I have a lot of people who come to me for coaching or come to my podcast and say, thank you for having both, because I don’t want to just hear about science without the God side, but I also know that there’s more to it than maybe just having the scripture verse right here. There’s got to be more, and the ability to put them together is powerful when we can do that.
Rachael Adams (04:25.053)
I don’t know science, either. So I lean to the spiritual side and think about, okay, well, even Jesus Experienced emotions throughout scripture. People felt very strong feelings and felt like that was okay. And that’s how we were made, so to embrace that, I am excited to hear more of the science behind some of our emotions and how we can process them. You mentioned you’re a coach.
Rachael Adams (04:55.095)
So I’d love to hear about some of your clients. Maybe you realized, okay, I’m seeing this need in myself, in my friends, in my family, and in my clients, and we need a resource to help us. I’d love to hear more about that process.
Alicia Michelle (05:11.01)
Yeah, so the process of really thinking about emotions themselves, there is a whole story about how I switched from just talking kind of in general about women’s issues, about mothering, parenting, things like that, marriage, from, I’ve been doing that since like 2011, to in 2017, I had a major medical crisis that almost took my life. And it was. I will share more about it in the book. You’re going to get the two-second synopsis here, but basically, I had two vertebral artery dissections, which are bad things to happen to you. In your neck, there are the vertebral arteries; an aneurysm is where it expands out; a dissection is where the artery collapses in, and that happened to me on both sides, and there was no explanation for it. Because of that, I was hospitalized for a week and a half. I was in bed for nine months, and I knew that the doctor said there was no explanation medically besides just stress, lack of sleep, and not taking care of myself.
God, people had been telling me for years you were doing way too much, you’re pushing yourself way too far, this, this, this, you need to take care of yourself, and I didn’t. And God had been telling me that for a long time. So he told me in the hospital, you’re going to get through this because I was having strokes, I was having all these things happen to me, and it was like, we don’t know what’s going to happen here. But he said, you’ll get through this, but this is your second chance, and there won’t be a third. So when that happened, it was like, you need to figure out more than just hacks; you need to sleep more. You just need to try this little switch in your day. No, you need to figure out why. Why do you know that you need rest? Why do you know that you don’t have to be perfect or know that you don’t have to perform, but you’re not doing that? You’re still living that way. And when I began to dig into that, I realized there were all kinds of patterns inside my head that I had believed all these years that even though I had been a Christian at that point for, like, you 20 years, 15, 20 years, it was still like I had a different experience. I was living differently. That got me into learning more about coaching, specifically neural coaching. So, we need to understand how the mind works, how our brain forms these subconscious patterns, and what we can do scientifically to change those patterns to align with what we want them to be. The joy in using that for God is that we can change those patterns to align with what God says about us. And so I began thinking, my gosh, I have women that I know that I work with, that I see that I had courses in different things that I was interacting with women with, wasn’t quite coaching yet, but I could see that. And I’m like, they know the truth, so why are we all stuck here? So that got me on this road of understanding how we can change those things about us. And so I started coaching and doing different things, but the emotional side of it, emotions, is kind of that very first level of mindset work we all face daily. And maybe we can’t see or look at those deeper issues that some of us work with like we were saying, where we believe in truth, but we can’t live in it. We all know that we get angry, we all know that we feel sad, or all these feelings. And so it’s a great place to start working through what was happening inside us. As I began doing that work, I realized that there needed to be some sort of, it was, first of all, an opportunity to connect to God. And we are all looking for opportunities to connect to God every day. So this was this built-in opportunity that we all had every day. And then, second, I could see just how we could use the things that science wants us to do, like to acknowledge what’s going on inside of us, but also to discern, once we acknowledge what that is, discern how that lines up with what scripture says. And then God calls us to decide what to do with that. So it was this beautiful interaction with how we sense what’s happening in us and then take that and allow it to align with what God wants us to do with it. As I developed that, I developed this three-step method, which we talk about in emotional confidence, which has become the backbone of a lot of the coaching I do. It’s a way for women to very easily walk through their emotions to create a statement that they can cling to and, honestly, connect to these different aspects of God through that process. So, for me, it’s just been this journey of seeing my own experience and then learning about the science behind it and then being able to create this tool that has been helpful for me and for thousands of women to be able to find freedom in going through their emotions but also in connecting with Christ.
Rachael Adams (10:03.909)
Okay, so let’s talk about this tool. I know we need to buy your book, but I’d love it if you could give us a brief synopsis and walk us through these three simple steps.
Alicia Michelle (10:15.188)
Yes, so there are three steps. There is a precursor step, which we can discuss if you’d like, but the three main steps we discussed in the book are a process called ADD. Its A means acknowledge, D is discern, and the second D is decide. So acknowledging is simply asking ourselves, why does it make sense that I’m feeling like this right now? Why is it plausible that I am angry, that I’m disappointed, or that I’m in despair? Why does that make sense? Leaning into God’s compassion for us is a step where we’re not trying to judge it; we’re not trying to change it. We’re just seeing it and recognizing that God sees it and he loves us despite our feelings, which are hard to process. He’s there with us in it; he’s holding us in it. So let’s acknowledge. The second step is to discern and ask ourselves what is true and what is not.
And that can be what the Bible says is true and what is not true about what I’m believing, but maybe other things that I’ve allowed black-and-white thinking to get into it or these unrealistic expectations to come into it. All these things that may be clouding what’s happening here. So, I need to figure out the truth about this situation. And that’s when we’re leaning into God’s clarity. So he, through the Holy Spirit, shows us that this is what his word says, and this is what God wants us to do. And we can lean into that aspect of our relationship with God at that step. Then, the last step is to decide. So once we’ve seen the emotion, we can feel it and know the truth. We often have to make a courageous choice as to what God wants us to do with this. What’s my next best step here? And sometimes, that emotion can guide our response, but it will only go within what scripture would want us to do because emotion, even emotion, has to come underneath the guidelines. So in that place, it’s saying, God, what do I need to do? Do I need to surrender? Do I need to not take responsibility for this? Do I need to take responsibility for this? Are you convicting me about this? Like, what is my response? The second half of that is where I need to dwell emotionally. So, we often have an emotion or feeling, and it’s not resolved with a nice little bow. It’s still something we have to live in. We still have to walk through that thing. But we get to decide how we’re going to face it. We get to decide if we’ll live in hope and expectation or if we’ll live with letting that negativity and sadness continue to affect where we go moving forward. So we’re leaning into God’s courage at that point of that same kind of courage that Jesus had in Gethsemane, where he was feeling everything he was feeling, which was very plausible, but he knew the truth and what God had called him to do. He’d asked God to take it from him, but he said, whatever your will is, that’s what I’m going to do. And he made that decision to move forward, trusting that God would give him the strength, trusting that God would give him what he needed to do to move forward. So that is the process: acknowledge, discern, and decide. As you go through the book, we have different emotions that we talk about how to use for those emotions, and it also is designed to help you create a statement you can write. It makes sense that I feel this way because it’s true that, it’s not true that, and because of this, I will choose to, and I will emotionally dwell in it. That’s the basic outline of how it is, and you can expand it or make it smaller than that, but it’s this process we can walk through in our mind that makes it easier to process an emotion.
Rachael Adams (13:55.207)
Gosh, I love that so much. It’s so easy to remember, be aware, and be intentional about going through that process. I’m even thinking about my children and my friends and how many people, if you even see them, maybe spiraling a little bit and a certain emotion to say, “Okay, I sense maybe that you are feeling this way.”
Rachael Adams (14:15.321)
And then let’s talk about that. Is that true? As you’re in a relationship with, you know, doing that introspectively, but also doing that in relationships with other people can help you. We often don’t know how to respond when people have big feelings. And so that you’re giving us an automatic response to help them process it, too.
Alicia Michelle (14:36.854)
I’m so glad you said that because we have a whole chapter in the book on relationships. This is also a relationship tool because you can acknowledge the other person’s feelings. It helps you to sympathize and to see how they are. And before we just instantly want to go to, you did this, or you didn’t do this, you know, it’s like, and the same thing is true for us, honestly, in processing our emotions. Think of one of the biggest mistakes. If I could use that word, mistakes we make as believers are as follows: We have the gift of the Holy Spirit that’s giving us what God’s truth is saying, right? But we need to acknowledge it before our mind can hear and fully align with that truth.
We do need to see it. And we see examples of that in Psalms. We see examples of that throughout Scripture with tons of different characters. And so many people just want to jump to the truth, like, okay, I’m not supposed to feel this way. God tells me to feel this. God tells me to do this, you know? And it’s like, okay, eventually we’ll get there. But first, you need to be able to be heard. This needs to be heard and seen, and know that God hears and sees it. And then it’s like our mind, our brain is much more willing to, once we’ve been heard and seen, to completely be obedient and submit to what God says.
People get afraid that when they acknowledge they’re going to be stuck in this pity party forever, know, like, well, it will spiral out of control. But if we can use something like ADD, there is this whole process there that’s going to keep us from going off the rails and letting emotions take over. But we have to have that first part first.
Rachael Adams (16:15.153)
Before you dove into the three simple steps, you mentioned that there may be a pre-step. I’m sure you use better language than that, but you know what I mean.
Alicia Michelle (16:26.668)
No, I didn’t use better language than that. Should have. I call it emotional prep. And it’s really important because when we use a tool like ADD, we tap into our logical mind. The problem is that we know scientifically that our logical mind is typically not online when emotional. Our emotional mind, the limbic system, the amygdala, other parts of the limbic system, and our whole nervous system are in this sympathetic state, the fight or flight state. We’ve all heard of that. And when we’re in that state, the prefrontal cortex, the logical part of our brain, is shut off. Everything is designed just to protect us, to respond. And so you can think about this tool like ADD, and it’s great, but I need help finding a place where I can even use it. So if that’s the case, which it is often, something that I encourage clients to do is called emotional prep, and that is learning specific tools; we outline 16 of them in the book, using different parts of self to help us turn on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and digest, which is the logical mind, which is the calming side of our bodies, so that when our logical mind is on, then we can actually work through this thing the way God wants us to. Some of those things can be using our physical self, deep breathing, or something that helps me, like having my fingertips on the skin. There’s little, and I am trying to remember the exact. They’re called CT afferents, but something in our skin makes our skin prickle up when we do this, and it releases these calming hormones into our bloodstream. There are so many different things and other tools we can use to get ourselves to a place where we can respond the way we want. It is essential because I don’t want people to have a tool like this and be like, why didn’t I use it? Well, because we’re often just in a different place. So it’s okay. It’s also recommended that we use emotional prep to get to where we can use the tool.
Rachael Adams (18:36.573)
So that leads me, well, to my next question. Would that be like the prickling of your arms? Would that be one of the calming activities that you recommend? Are there other calming activities that help us process our emotions?
Alicia Michelle (18:47.478)
yeah.
As I said, we list 16 of them in the book. They are the different parts of the self. So what can I do for my physical self to bring calm? That can be sitting here drinking hot tea or sitting under a blanket. A weighted blanket is very helpful because of the pressure on our body. Some people have used tapping, another science where you tap different pressure points on your face and body to help release the endorphins. There is the spiritual self, of course. Crying can be very powerful; even though we don’t want to cry, crying can release cortisol, the stress hormone in our body, which can be effective. There’s helpful music, going into nature, so many different things. Prayer, of course, reading scripture, listening to worship music, all of these things that journaling depends on the situation, it depends on the person, it depends on what you need, but experimenting with those things and seeing what is something I can do habitually as like a maintenance practice to kind of keep the calm more in my life. Hence, it’s easier to transition to that and what things I can do now and what works for me. I recommend experimenting, seeing some of those things, and bringing them in to manage emotions.
Rachael Adams (20:19.965)
Yeah, that’s so good. Again, we know that for ourselves, but we know that for our loved ones. Being a mother, wife, and friend will help us love each other well. So, when thinking about emotions, a lot of shame and judgment is often associated with certain emotions. And so, how do we learn not to judge our own emotions or even other people?
Alicia Michelle (20:54.266)
That’s an important question because we do, primarily if we’ve known Christ and we’ve known Christ for a long time where we’re like, I know how I want to be. I know what I should believe that God wants me to do. So why do I not go there? And we have to understand first that God does bring a healthy form of if you’re going to use the word guilt, maybe not shame, but guilt. And that is called conviction. It’s healthy for him to point out things we need to change. There’s an unhealthy form of that called condemnation. And that’s, of course, from the enemy; that’s more where the shame part comes up. But we get to lean into what we’re feeling and know that God is aware of it, that he loves us through it, that he’s not surprised by it, and that he’s going to show us a way out of it, that he didn’t make us believers and just fix us from all the things that would make us feel bad. He allowed us to continue to live in this world, work out our salvation, and feel these difficult things so that we can continue to cling to him and lean on him. So, if we feel that shame, we can know that God is not trying to push us down or make us feel bad for having an uncomfortable emotion. Sometimes, those painful emotions bubbling up inside us need to be addressed. Sometimes, things that we need to confess. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. If it’s leading us towards hopelessness and despair and things that the enemy would want to keep reminding us of that we have no hope, that we can’t change that this is who we are always going to be, then those are the kind of emotions that we need to release and let the Lord help us work through. It’s important to recognize that sometimes those emotions are impetuous to help us go to a different place that God wants us to move to spiritually.
Rachael Adams (22:58.053)
Yeah. So, the next step is to discern after acknowledging our emotions without judgment. And I think we have to know God’s voice when we discern. And you gave a great example of that. Okay, is this God’s voice? Is this the enemy’s voice? Who am I listening to? It’s so important to know what you’re filling your mind with.
Rachael Adams (23:23.013)
I guess so. What truth are you believing? That is essential for us and something I need to do better at. This is not a condemnation of anybody for the choices that we’re making. So, how do we make sure that we believe the truth that God has for us instead of the lies of the enemy in the world?
Alicia Michelle (23:43.436)
Yeah, it’s essential. We can talk about tools like ADD or everything, but if we still need that voice of truth firmly rooted and established in our head and as an anchor to go to, it is a lot harder to hear that truth. And so the longer we know the Lord, the easier a tool like discern in terms of the ADD model becomes. So it’s crazy critical that part of that work in managing our emotions is getting into God’s Word every day, surrounding ourselves with things that uplift and honor what He says is to be true. It doesn’t mean we put ourselves in a bubble, but we need to feed our minds, feasting on what God’s Word is, and let that be the plumb line because we can’t have a plumb line of truth if it’s not established in us. So, it can be as simple as taking time daily to establish a habit of just being with the Lord. I was just talking to a client about this yesterday. We all say we want to have that time with the Lord, but it’s hard. And I have this going on. Something that’s worked for me, and I was sharing with the client, is setting it up as habit stacking. If you’re familiar with the book Atomic Habits, he talks about stacking habits, which you already have to do every day anyway. And then you tack it onto that. And so for me, I always have to take my son to school on Monday through Friday, and on the way back, I come back and make breakfast. And so as part of that routine, I sit down as we’re eating breakfast, and I’m done, my husband and I are done talking, and he leaves, I sit down with my Bible, and I have my time with the Lord.
My day is radically different after that, but if I don’t get that in, all bets are off. But that anchoring keeps me wanting to be obedient to God because I see who I am, who He is, and who He wants me to be. And it also becomes that anchor of truth. I just want to freak out when I am swirling in an emotion. I have that voice that’s already solid and steady inside of me to help me know this is where I need to go. This is okay. This is not okay—things like that. So, I think it starts with being in God’s word daily. Yeah.
Rachael Adams (26:07.291)
Yeah, and I don’t always get this right, but I do notice a difference in my emotions when I have spent time with the Lord. I mean, there are people around you. I know I have several friends. They have been with the Lord. They just radiate His love and His light. And my family can tell a difference when I’ve been with the Lord and when I haven’t. And so it helps us to make better decisions when we are emotions that we will deal with. And so I’d love for you to talk more about that. You say that we can courageously choose a scriptural response. That’s interesting phrasing right there. Because it is often, it is a choice, but it sometimes takes courage. So, I’d love for you to dive more into
Alicia Michelle (26:55.816)
Hmm. That’s part of the decision-making step. Courage is necessary because we can be confronted with emotion and know it, and we can be faced with the truth. But at the end of the day, we serve a God who will not force us to respond a certain way. Ultimately, we choose what we want to do with that emotion. And we can be tempted to think, but they made me mad. But this isn’t fair, all of the things. And yet God is saying, I still want you to forgive. I still want you to let this go. This isn’t your responsibility. And we get to decide: Are we going to listen to what God says, or will we just keep being mad? And it takes courage sometimes to let that go or to take that next step, to be brave to follow God. That, it’s you. I know you are talking about love. To me, that is showing God’s love and that God loves us, giving us the choice to follow Him courageously and decide to honor Him. When it’s hard and like Jesus in the garden, I want this cup to pass for me. I want to wait to do this. It’s not what I want; it’s what you want. So that’s what I’m going to do. That takes a lot of courage and faith in God; when we can do that, it shows our love back to Him.
Rachael Adams (28:29.253)
It just occurred to me: Does this process work for positive emotions? We’re talking about sadness, anger, and forgiveness, and many of these may be negative or what we would view as negative emotions. So, does this work for joy, peace, and love? Does it work in the positive realm as well?
Rachael Adams (28:57.885)
Well, because of emotions, we have positive emotions and negative emotions. And so I’m seeing how we can process these negative ones, but we’re also processing positive emotions. Like those are a gift. And so acknowledging man, I’m feeling really happy today. And so why is that? What has happened today that may be different than what was yesterday? And then discerning that I am focusing more on what is pure, lovely, and praiseworthy? And then I decided, okay, this is how I want my life to feel and look.
Rachael Adams (29:27.707)
What can I do to make this new, kind of renewing my mind? I want to repeat this day. Does that make sense?
Alicia Michelle (29:36.11)
I love it. Rachel, that’s awesome. I’ve never thought of it from that perspective, but I’m just using it to understand better why you’re feeling that positive emotion, what’s going on, and how we can strengthen it again. And yeah, I love it. No, you totally could.
Rachael Adams (29:53.475)
Okay, that was a wild tangent, but we feel many emotions. And so to embrace those, especially on those good days. And so I would love to hear just as you’ve instituted this process in your own life, as your clients have, you know because we want this to become a lifestyle. The whole point is to have a transformation in the renewing of your mind so that your days continue to look like they did in the past. What has been the biggest difference since instituting this process?
Alicia Michelle (30:31.798)
I can share like in the book. We have testimonials at the end of every chapter, and I was thinking of one client whose name I know in real life. I’m going to call her Amy. She shared that when she began to do this, it changed her ability and how she showed up for her family. She was struggling with anger and situations with her kids where it was just the same thing every day. It wasn’t changing. And she just kept building and building all this anger. And when she was able to have a way to work through it tangibly, to release some stuff, and to let the Lord speak to her as she was working through this, It changed how she showed up for them. It changed how she parented. She said she was not just calmer overall, but she could; she responded without instantly yelling. You know, it’s like, I think of emotions too often. If we’re not dealing with them, it’s like this pot of boiling water on the stove. One little tiny thing can just set it off. And so if we can habitually learn to work through them and let the Lord help us through them, that boiling pot water tends to boil over less. So that’s something that Amy found, and that was her anger and her ability; she just enjoyed her family more. She didn’t dread having to get up with her parents and having to do things. It changed her whole outlook and her ability to relate to her family.
That’s true, especially when we have these emotions around situations that happen repeatedly, like marriage, parenting, or a job. They’re just stuff that will stay the same, but I need to know how to show up differently. And when I show up differently, it eventually affects how the situation is. It can change many things if we do this.
Rachael Adams (32:34.641)
Yeah, as you’re talking about the boiling pot of water, I tend to want to stuff things under the rug, know, sweep it under the rug. And then finally, it’s like, okay, now I need to deal with this. And then it’s this much bigger issue with all these emotions. And it needs to be clearer; it’s so hard to work through as opposed to thinking about how contagious our emotions are. You know, a lot of times, it’s like if mom isn’t happy, nobody’s happy. And there’s a lot of truth to that. But there’s a lot of truth to it, like if daddy’s not happy, nobody’s happy either. It’s that we do have off on each other. And so this is important for us as we go about every relationship because it will spread our negativity, sadness, and anger. After all, if we react in anger, somebody else will react in anger. Scripture even talks about that.
Alicia Michelle (33:30.072)
Totally. Yeah. And, like you’re saying, the emotions build on each other. And so if we keep sweeping them under the rug and pushing them down, which again is a normal response, especially when we’re in such a busy, hectic world, you, if we’re unable to, I get it. We’re only sometimes able to let me pull out my journal and journal about this right now. You know, I get it. But we can learn to acknowledge it at least and say, okay, God, I’m going to walk through this here. I need to get along with you, think through this, and discuss it later. But we can at least make those commitments, checking in with ourselves emotionally throughout the day or a week. And it does; it radically affects the culture of your home, business, and everything around you because things don’t seem as hard. Perhaps something is easier because these other emotions aren’t just stored under the rug. They’ve been dealt with, and it’s Okay; I can deal with this one thing versus 15 things I’m trying to deal with simultaneously. And sometimes that’s important to recognize, too. Why is this bothering me right now? This one thing. Well, that’s part of the acknowledgment. Twenty things happened this week. So it makes sense that I’m feeling like this.
I have a membership group where we talk about emotional confidence and experiment with these tools. And how do you make this happen in your life? And one thing we do every Friday is called Feelings Friday. They check in with how the week has been, but we rate how you felt emotionally in control this week. What has been your calm level? And then one of the questions is, why does it make sense that that’s your answer? So it’s like, if you’ve had a crazy week, why does it make sense that you’ve been feeling out of control? Well, it’s because of this, and this has happened. So again, it’s part of learning to see and deal with it a little at a time. So yeah.
Rachael Adams (35:22.476)
Yeah. Because this is the Love Offering Podcast, I’m thinking about the greatest commandment: to love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Often, when I think of those, I think about it’s your physical health, your emotional health, your mental health, and your spiritual health. And so there is so much correlation between if I’m feeling good physically, I might feel slightly better in all the other areas, too. It’s just that they do intermingle so much. If one area is off balance, the other area also falls off. And so just to be mindful of that, to love, our emotional health is part of that scenario. That leads me to the question I’ve been asking all my guests. Is there a biblical concept of love that applies to this topic that we’ve been discussing today?
Alicia Michelle (36:15.564)
It would go back to that scene of Jesus in the garden in that, like you said, love, if you know me, if you love me, you obey my commandments, is what Jesus had said. That scene is the ultimate example of love for both sides. So Jesus loving God the Father and His plan for His life is enough to say, not my will, but I’m doing this. I’m obeying you. And God the Father is saying, I love you so much. I understand, and I’m with you and walking through your difficulty. For us, those are the imperfections of who we are. And Christ, of course, was perfect. He, God the Father, just loves us where we’re at. So I think our willingness to be vulnerable and real with God and God’s willingness to accept us in that vulnerability, to me, when we choose to say, I’m still going to do this, I’m still going to do this, that’s the ultimate example of love that we’re taking, and it’s the ultimate example of Him loving us because we’re sinners, we’re making mistakes, we’re doing all these things, you know, even though we long to follow Him. We get to have this exchange of love with God back and forth through our emotions. So, emotions can teach us much about what we want to do with this, how we want to honor God, and how he still loves us despite the craziness we sometimes feel.
Rachael Adams (37:42.737)
Yeah, that is a good point. Yes, God has given us people to help us through our emotions, but we can go to Him. And I think how often I make that mistake is that I go everywhere else, you know, trying to numb my emotions and talk about my feelings and say, “Why didn’t I just go to the Lord in the first place for Him to help me, remind me of my truth and guide me and help me to decide and make the right decision. And again, I know he’s given us people in our lives to help us do that and remind us of his truth. And so your work, what you’re doing, is just so important, and I’ve loved today’s conversation. I would like to know if there is something that you are loving right now. Anything that comes to mind.
Alicia Michelle (38:22.262)
Yeah, it’s funny. So, my kids are in a unique stage. They’re all about to have their birthdays. One is 21. One is 19. Those two are about to have their birthdays in a few weeks. My daughter just turned 17 yesterday. And I have a 12-year-old. And so we’re in this stage of parenting that I’m learning to love. I’ll just say that. Because it’s hard when they’re a little older and starting to make these decisions, God has had to teach me that I can love this stage. It’s not the same stage where they’re little, and you’re taking them and dressing them up for this, and you’re taking them there. It’s a different stage than that. That is, that’s that, but I’m learning to love them as their personalities and passions, like how they’re interacting with God and how that’s all coming out. I’m learning to love how I interact with them this season, that in a new way, you know, not regretting maybe, it’s not like this anymore. No, it isn’t, but it’s this now. It’s this new stage where we’re at. So yeah, he’s giving me a love for parenting at this stage, what that means for my marriage, what we can do, and just the different responsibilities and the things I can say yes to that I couldn’t before. So it’s kind of this interesting stage that God is teaching me to love.
Rachael Adams (39:50.609)
think that’s a word for everybody. You know, seasons come and seasons go. And so, Lord, help me love this present season. And He will answer that prayer. So, I want to stay connected with you. Listeners will want to be part of your coaching, maybe listen to your podcast and buy your book. Tell us how to stay connected with you and purchase those materials.
Alicia Michelle (40:14.52)
Yeah, thank you so much. Everything is at my site, alishamichelle.com. So A-L-I-C-I-A and then M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E dot com. But you can get free resources there. We’re going to have a free download of the first chapter of the book. There are other free teachings that I have on mindset there. And then there’s also my podcast, which is called the Christian Mindset Coach Podcast. So I would love for you to listen to that. If you’re interested in any of these topics about emotions, we have a whole series on emotions that breaks down some of the things we discuss in the book and explores some of the different emotions we feel. And, of course, the book is called Emotional Confidence, Three Simple Steps to Manage Your Emotions with Science and Scripture. And you can find that on Amazon or anywhere books are sold. And yeah, I would love to connect with you and just help you in a real way I would love to reach out and connect with you to figure out what it looks like for you to learn how to manage your emotions.
Rachael Adams (41:15.713)
Yeah, well, would you pray for us as we close?
Alicia Michelle (41:17.742)
Yes, yes. Dear Lord, thank you so much for being with us in every circumstance. You promised that there would be trouble in this world, but that you have overcome the world, that we didn’t have to fear because you are with us, you walk with us, and your Holy Spirit guides us with his counsel and wisdom. You tell us not to be afraid, that you fight for us, and that everything we walk through is doable because of your spirit. So we thank you for that first. And I thank you just for the opportunity to share more about these difficult things. And maybe we’re like, I don’t want to think about emotions. I just want to move on with my life. I don’t want to have to feel those things. But Lord, I have seen and am grateful that you allow us to connect deeper to you because of emotions. So I pray that my friends listening to this conversation that Rachel and I have had would be an opportunity for them to turn to you today and to say, okay, Lord, you do hear me. You do know me. Here’s what’s going on.
Please help me.” And this could be the beginning of that conversation with you in a way they haven’t had before. So I pray blessings on them, and I pray blessings on this conversation that what we’ve said here, you would remove anything that isn’t what you would want people to hear, and you would allow this to strengthen in their hearts those things that are going to help them grow closer to you. So, Father, we love you, and it’s an honor to be your children. And we just thank you for being in our lives. It’s in your name. Amen.
Rachael Adams (42:43.064)
Amen. Thank you so much.
Alicia Michelle (42:44.779)
Amen, thank you.
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Christian Mindset Coach Alicia Michelle: Podcast, Courses, Book
