The sound of chaos used to feel normal to me. Raised voices, broken trust, and fractured relationships shaped so much of my early story. I thought that’s just how life had to be. But deep down, I longed for something different, something steady, something whole, something peaceful.
Maybe you know that same longing. Maybe you’ve wondered if peace is even possible in the middle of everything swirling around you. I used to ask the same question, until God began to show me His peace isn’t fragile or fleeting. It’s strong enough to rebuild what’s been broken and calm enough to quiet even the loudest storms.
That’s the journey I’m on. You might recognize me as “the cousin” from 19 Kids and Counting, but the more important story isn’t one that ever made it on TV, it’s the story of God teaching me how to unlearn old patterns and step into His promise of peace. If He can do that in my life, He can do it in yours, too.
The Bible reminds us, “God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33). So if something brings disorder, chaos, confusion, or drama into our lives, I know it’s not aligned with God’s will for me. His desire is for us to live in peace, with clarity of mind, heart, and purpose. That peace allows us to hear his voice more clearly, to navigate life with wisdom, and to make decisions that align with his plan for us.
I no longer feel pressured to stand up for myself just to be liked, accepted, or understood. I’m finally comfortable simply being me, without needing approval or validation. If that’s not enough for some people, I’m at peace with that. I’ve let go of the need to make everyone happy or to avoid conflict by walking on eggshells. The person God made me to be is enough. I am already loved beyond measure, and I don’t have anything to prove. This journey toward peace has shown me the beauty of living authentically—free, grounded, and at rest that I am exactly who I am meant to be.
I am safe in God’s presence. So are you. In moments when the fear of the unknown feels overwhelming, I hold on to God’s promise that I am never alone. His presence is the one constant in my life, even in the midst of doubt and uncertainty. I feel his Spirit within me, giving me the strength to keep moving forward, one step at a time. It’s his power that fuels my courage to open up, bare my soul, and share my story in all its raw, unfiltered truth.
As you read these words, I hope they will be a light on your own path, helping you connect the dots. Maybe they’ll encourage you to share your own story or take the first steps toward healing. When it feels like what you’re facing is too much to bear, let God’s presence give you courage. Let his promises lift you when it feels unspeakably hard to keep going. With each deep breath, remind yourself of this: You are capable, you are resilient, and you are held by a love that knows no limits.
A special kind of peace comes from intentionally choosing a different path than the one you were shown. I’m learning that it’s okay to reinvent my life. A big part of that for me is motherhood. Being a mom offers an opportunity to break cycles and redefine what love, respect, and discipline look like. One example is how I’m reimagining homeschooling. When I was growing up, I saw my cousins sitting at their desks, flipping through textbooks, and following a rigid schedule that looked like anything but fun. When I decided I wanted to homeschool Dax, I knew there had to be another way. So I set out to create a homeschooling experience that felt alive, exciting, and tailored to what my child needs most.
In our home, homeschooling means stomping in mud puddles, learning about rock formations by exploring nature trails, and diving into history by visiting museums. Recess? It’s a bike ride around the neighborhood, a game of tag in the backyard, or a summer picnic with flash cards and Dax’s favorite books spread out under a shady tree. I want Daxton to discover the beauty of curiosity—to light up at the sight of a cool-looking bug or find joy in the process of learning something new by playing fun games. We fill our days with cooking lessons, cleaning tips, and money management instruction. Let’s face it, these are the life skills schools often fail to teach. Our days are overflowing with laughter, playdates, and as much joy as we can pack in. Daxton’s a social butterfly like his dad, but he has a quiet side too, like me. He loves being around people but needs time to recharge.
Every day with my little family reminds me that beauty can rise from brokenness and that joy is waiting, even in the messiest seasons.
If you’ve ever felt like life was too heavy, too chaotic, or that you’re too broken to ever feel whole again, I want you to know there is hope. You don’t have to keep living in survival mode. Peace is possible, healing is possible, and joy is possible, even after pain and chaos.
That’s why I wrote Holy Disruptor. It’s my heart on paper—stories of breaking free, choosing boundaries, and finding God’s presence in the middle of the mess. My prayer is that it won’t just be my story you see in these pages, but your story too, one of courage, redemption, and becoming exactly who God designed you to be.
Jesus never called us to a life of chaos, constant tension, or pretending to hold it all together. He wants us to live in peace, in our homes, in our marriages, in our parenting, and in our own hearts. And the truth is, that kind of peace begins with boundaries. When we have the courage to say “no” to what hurts us and “yes” to what brings life, we make space for His presence to flood in.
But here’s the thing: to get there, we must become Holy Disruptors. Sometimes that means disrupting what we’ve always been taught, disentangling ourselves from toxic family patterns, and bravely stepping into a new life filled with truth, freedom, and love. It’s so important to surround ourselves with healthy people, and we must refuse to let evil continue in our lives and in generations to come. It’s not always comfortable, and it’s certainly not always easy, but confronting what’s broken is the only way to step into the wholeness God has for us.
Jesus wants us to have peace in every aspect of our lives and that peace often begins with holy disruption.
Taken from Holy Disruptor: Shattering the Shiny Facade by Getting Louder with the Truth by Amy Duggar King. Copyright © (October, 2025) by Zondervan. Used by permission of Zondervan, www.zondervan.com.
{If you enjoyed this blog post, you might also like this episode of The Love Offering Podcast, where Rachael chats with Kimberly Haar as she shares a gentle guide through the stages of healing, compassionate biblical wisdom for the hardest moments, and practical mental health tools rooted in faith. Whether you’re carrying your own questions or supporting someone else through theirs, this interview will remind you: God has not abandoned you. He is able to redeem even the most broken places. You can listen to the episode here.}
About the Author:
Amy Duggar King grew up appearing on TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting, but today she’s using her authentic, God-given voice to encourage others who want to break free from dysfunctional families, toxic situations, or cycles of abuse. She also appeared in seasons one and two of Amazon’s chart-topping documentary Shiny Happy People and continues to be featured in major outlets such as Vanity Fair, People, Business Insider, Us Weekly, The Los Angeles Times, and The Washington Post. In her debut memoir, Holy Disruptor: Shattering the Shiny Facade by Getting Louder with the Truth (October 14, 2025), Amy shares her powerful story of faith, freedom, and finding her true voice beyond fame and family expectations. Amy lives in northwest Arkansas with her husband, Dillon, and their son, Daxton.
