As a child, I watched in wonder as my great-grandmother enjoyed World Wide Wrestling on her eighteen-inch television with the bunny ears antenna. As a young adult, I taught kickboxing and took classes in jujitsu. Through these and other experiences, I learned to be a fighter. However, none of my defensive techniques nor the power of my own will were any assistance in overcoming what felt like a tag team of self-pity and shame. I longed to stand empowered to proclaim God’s truth and passionately love His people, yet I continued to battle to believe I was enough for God.
What am I lacking? Lord, why would you call me to use my gifts and resources yet leave me feeling so inadequate?
My confidence wavered as these questions replayed over in my mind. However, after weeks of contending for answers, it was as if Matthew 22:34-40 jumped off the page and tackled me:
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: ‘“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (NIV).
In all my days of seeking to love God and others, I had never noticed the last part of the command: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (emphasis added). Gripped by these words, I began to understand the importance of accepting and loving myself just the way I am.
As I let go of expectations for myself, stopped comparing my weaknesses to others’ strengths, and began to thank God for the gifts I knew He had given me, something shifted. The weight of my enemy lifted.
I imagined myself looking into the eyes of Jesus, and as I did, I heard Him say, “Let Me bless you. Let Me love you. Let Me lift you up. You don’t have to strive to love. In Me, you can freely love. You need only to surrender. Stop fighting the one I love. Stop fighting yourself. Accept who I made you to be and the gifts you have been given, for I am pleased with what I see. You no longer need to wrestle against My love or strive to prove your love for Me. Open your heart and receive My love, so you can fully live in it and freely give it.”
As I heard those words and chose to believe them, I felt victorious and free. No personal titles or wins necessary, just Jesus’ perfect love revealed to me.
Today, I pray you will be able to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:18-19). May you be so overwhelmed by God’s love for you that your heart would be softened and strengthened as you see yourself through His eyes. And may you stand confident in who He has made you to be and is calling you to become, so you can love others the way Christ loves you.
About the Author:
Heather Hutchinson’s heart is to encourage, word by word, the broken and hurting into a life of peace, joy, and purpose. Through the daily working through depression and anxiety, she began blogging to comfort others in their struggles while offering practical tools to help build them up. She enjoys home life with her husband and three young children at the foot of the North Carolina mountains, where the weeds in the garden and the unfinished DIY projects await her.
Connect with Heather:
www.Instagram.com/buildingus.buildingyou
www.Facebook.com/buildingus.buildingyou
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