“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.” —Psalm 62:5 (ESV)
Our souls are not naturally quiet. If we’re honest, most of us carry a deep, daily ache for affirmation—a needy internal clamor that whispers (or shouts), “Look over here! See me! Approve of me! Tell me I matter.”
I was reminded of this recently when a friend told me about her 3-year-old daughter. One evening, the little girl came downstairs in a new dress. Then again. And again. Each time with the same unspoken question in her eyes: Do you see me now? Am I lovely? Do I matter?
It was sweet. And also revealing.
Don’t we all do this? Maybe not with dresses, but with our performance, our appearance, our people-pleasing, our productivity. Like that little girl, we’re often just waiting for someone to tell us we’re enough.
This soul-clamor echoes the heartbeat behind my book, From Him, Not Them: A Young Woman’s Guide to Relying on God for Validation, Identity, and Guidance. For years, I looked to others as if they were spiritual vending machines—hoping someone would dispense the right words to fill my empty places. Finding deep inner peace was impossible.
“The people or things I had been looking to for fulfillment might have met my needs for a moment, but they always fell short and left me wanting more. Through these struggles, I slowly learned that my core longings could only be met by God—from Him, not them.”
Psalm 62 reminds us that our hope, security, and worth come from Him alone. When we receive those things from Him first, we are free to love others—not to get, but to give.
One simple practice that helps reorient my noisy soul is this:
Fill in the blank—“My ________ comes from Him.”
My worth. My strength. My purpose. My identity. My hope.
Sometimes I write these truths in a journal to anchor my wandering thoughts. Other times, I say them out loud—especially when I’m tempted to grasp for approval or spin in anxiety. I might even sit with just one phrase during a quiet moment, meditating on it and letting it sink in: My peace comes from Him. My direction comes from Him. My security comes from Him.
Why does this help? Because it trains my heart to look up before looking around. It silences the internal clamor with a better voice—His. Slowly, this practice shifts my source of validation. Instead of reacting to every comment, like, or silence from others, I’m learning to rest in what God has already said about me.
This posture—of receiving first from Him—is what enables us to love others from a full heart, not a desperate one.
About the Author:
Tracy Harper is a mom of three teenage daughters and has over two decades of campus ministry experience. Her book, From Him, Not Them: A Young Woman’s Guide to Relying on God for Validation, Identity, and Guidance, helps readers break free from performance-based living and step into the secure, God-given worth available through Christ. Tracy enjoys living by the water on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.
Connect with Tracy:
Get From Him, Not Them here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F66DS4RL
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