I bought the brightly colored balloon at the grocery store, to deliver along with the frozen lasagna and salad fixings, even though deep down I knew it wasn’t the right message. “Get Well Soon” simply wasn’t possible for my friend, now facing the mountainous road of chemo and radiation, with the cancer detour that had radically altered her course.
If there had been better options, I would have chosen more cancer-appropriate balloon words such as “Here With You” or “Courageous Warrior.”
I guess I decided to go ahead and buy the balloon because I focused on the word well and how much I wanted it to be well with my friend’s soul on this unwanted journey. I was clear, just as she was, that nothing would make her “get” well any sooner. So, as I drove across town to deliver the food and the balloon, I simply prayed that she would feel seen and loved.
I wanted to pass on to my friend encouragement and support like we had received following my son’s cancer diagnosis eighteen months prior. We’d received multiple delicious meals and gift cards along the way. Groceries delivered. Notes reminding us that we weren’t alone. And even a few actual hugs–when virtual ones had become the norm in the midst of our worldwide social distancing pandemic.
Like me and my struggle over the Get Well Soon balloon, maybe you too have second-guessed yourself when you wanted to reach out to someone who was hurting but feared doing something wrong. When God places a suffering friend on our hearts, we feel the immense burden of their struggle and the weight of what we imagine they must be carrying.
But how do we discern the best way to show up?
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5, NIV)
Considering the word compassion in this passage, we find a literal meaning of “suffering together” with an understanding of another’s pain. Moreover the Greek roots for the word comfort, “para” and “kletos,” join together to mean “from close beside” “to make a call.” Jesus had said before He left the earth that the Holy Spirit would be our ultimate parakletos, our Comforter who would cry out for us in our time of need. But, in addition, He also entrusted us as members of His broken Body, to be His hands and feet, able to bring comfort and refreshment to those who experience suffering.
Amazing as it is, our humble presence can provide comfort as we enter the sacred space of another’s pain. We can choose to show up like Job’s friends, who companioned with him in the best way when they simply sat by his side for seven days without words because they saw how great his suffering was (Job 2:13). It was when they tried to reason and make sense of his suffering, that they ceased being a comfort and became a burden to him.
As comforters, comfortable with discomfort, we are able to offer solidarity and break through the isolation that suffering inevitably brings. We can choose to show up, not with self-focused signs like “I’ll fix your problem” or “I’ll feel better when your sickness is behind you,” but with banners of blessing to declare: “Your problem won’t define you,” “I see you,” “I’m here for you,” and “I will love you no matter what.”
Recently my son, whose cancer is thankfully now in remission, knocked on my door to say, “I need some comfort, I’m feeling worried.” Putting my arm around his shoulders to draw him close, I told him how thankful I was that he was able to express how he was feeling and to know what he needed. And I could be there, close by, so that he didn’t feel alone in his struggles. My choice to be present with him in that moment was my love offering.
What might your love offering be today?
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About the Author:
Since her family returned to the US 7 years ago after 20 years of ministry in China, Jodie has transitioned to a role of shepherding global women as they re-enter their passport countries. She has also pursued writing, speaking, soul care, and social justice. Her youngest son’s cancer journey last year created unexpected ways of connecting with Jesus’ suffering, marveling at the hope of His resurrection, and growing deeper in gratitude for the love and support of His Body here on earth.
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