“The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” Lamentations 3:20-24 (NLT)
It was March 26, 2024, a Tuesday morning. I was going through a miscarriage that day. As sadness and heartache engulfed me, I took some quiet time to be alone with the Lord. I pulled out a notebook and began writing. This is what I wrote:
‘My heart is broken, and I am heavy-laden. I sit here trying to eat my breakfast, only because I need to take really strong pain medication. I can feel the severe contractions kick in, just like labor pains. I try to do my morning devotion, but I feel shut off and all alone. I feel like I cannot hear from God. I am sitting by the table alone, reading a devotional plan about how I should mirror Jesus and not anyone else. This topic feels rather irrelevant at this point in time. I am going through another pregnancy loss. How is this devotional helping me? I am in pain—not just physically, but emotionally too. My mind is troubled.’
With my head buried in my arms, with sadness, anger, and frustration, I said, “Lord, help me to mirror You every day, in every situation. But, how? You did not experience pregnancy loss. What would You do if You had multiple miscarriages like me, Jesus? This does not apply to You. How do I mirror You? What would You have done? How would You have felt? What would You have said, Jesus? How would You have responded?”
At that very moment, Jesus echoed these words in my heart: “Father, if You are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from Me. Yet I want Your will to be done, not Mine.”
Tears filled my eyes as I began to weep and whisper those very words. “Father, if You are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want Your will to be done, not mine.”
I suddenly felt God’s presence gently come over me. It was like a warm, comforting, and cozy blanket on a cold and harsh winter morning. It felt like a soothing and warm indoor fireplace despite the snowstorm brewing outside. When you go through trials, tribulations, challenges, traumatic situations, things you cannot understand, and painful circumstances, what do you do?
When you receive the devastating report from your doctor…
When you and your spouse have been trying for a baby, only to keep getting negative results over and over again…
When a family member keeps hurting or disappointing you, and reconciliation seems ever so distant…
When you work so hard to provide for your family, but still live paycheck to paycheck…
When you prayed for the healing of someone you love so dearly, and yet, they pass away…
When you give your all at work and go the extra mile, but someone else receives the promotion and pay rise…
When you are the sole breadwinner of your family and have worked faithfully in the same company for years, but there are now talks of retrenchment and cutbacks…
When you had so many dreams and plans for the future, but an unexpected illness or accident has left you wondering how you will face tomorrow…
When you trusted someone wholeheartedly, but found out one day that they had been unfaithful and dishonest…
When you stood by the vow ’till death do us part’, but your spouse walked out on you…
When you are left to raise your child all alone…
When you thought you found a lifelong friend you could rely on, only to realize that you were just a convenient option…
When you discovered that people were badmouthing you behind your back despite your sincerity and integrity…
When someone betrayed your confidence, though you felt comfortable and confided in them…
When you cared about someone so much and did everything you could to stand by them—through thick and thin—but they took their own life, and you are now left with a gaping hole in your heart…
When you have been committed to the things of God, setting good examples, and praying daily, but your children have turned away from God…
When your heart is heavy, and there are no more tears to cry…
When someone you looked up to and admired did something that made you lose respect for them and humanity…
When your church community is surrounded by danger and is being threatened or persecuted because of belief in Jesus…
When your faith is bigger than a mustard seed, and you have been waiting and trusting, but your prayer has not been answered yet…
When your child is diagnosed with an illness, and you cannot understand why this is happening…
When you have to show compassion, forgiveness, and grace to people who are hard to love…
When you are the caregiver of a sick parent or in-law, and you feel drained out and overwhelmed…
When you supported a loved one through their addiction, rehabilitation, and recovery, but they had a relapse or overdose…
When you are regularly exposed to traumatic and disturbing events as a first responder…
When your home or property was destroyed and swept away by a natural disaster…
When you thought they genuinely cared about you, only to find out that they were just making use of you…
When your body wears you out with chronic pain and sickness…
When you can no longer gather with other believers due to the pain in your body…
When you receive a phone call with troubling news…
When your adult children no longer visit…
When your spouse has backslidden and forsaken the ways of God…
When you have a challenging family member who pushes all your buttons…
When you keep believing, hoping, praying, and trusting, but end up having multiple miscarriages like me…
What do you do?
Can you still trust God in the waiting, seeking, uncertainty, silence, and chaos? Can you still show love and grace to those around you? Can you still worship? Can you still be kind to yourself? Are you able to say: Father, if You are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want Your will to be done, not mine.
Do you still dare to hope? Ultimately, our lives are in His hands. If you are following God and going through challenges, I encourage you to keep trusting Him. He will never fail you nor hide His face from you. In the mountaintops, valleys, and all the in-betweens, He remains faithful. He is unchanging. His love for you never ends. Dear friends, keep walking in the light of His love and mercy. Keep doing what is right. Do not let the enemy steal your worship. Do not let your heartache take away your hallelujah. Allow the love of God to flow in and through your life.
Sometimes, our pain can cause us to keep those who love us at a distance and turn away from God. However, let us draw closer to Him instead. Let us be patient and gracious to the people around us. Regardless of what you are going through today, turn to Jesus. Speak His name. Be transparent before Him. Be still and know that He is God. He is still upon the throne. He is in control. Nothing can happen in our lives unless He allows it. Everything passes through His sovereign hands first. I urge you to trust His plans for your life. Dare to hope.
In the physical abuse, sexual assault, trauma, loss, heartache, abandonment, and grief that I have encountered in my life, I have learned that we are never alone or forsaken. Jesus sits with us in our pain and suffering. He walks with us through the fire. He carries us through the flood. He sits with you today in your struggle. He will not turn His back on you. You are His. Where else would you go? Who will you turn to? Approach your Heavenly Father today. He runs toward you with open arms.
We do not have to hide our true, raw, and ugly feelings from God. He knows us inside out. Instead of keeping my emotions buried or bottled up within me, I have learned that laying them all out before God is so important and necessary. Lay your burdens at His feet; He cares for you. We may not understand everything that happens. We may not always get the answer, closure, apology, explanation, or outcome we want. However, we can trust His purposes and plans for our lives. We can rely on His character and find rest in His presence.
Some of you growing up were not able to approach your parents with your deepest feelings, questions, desires, struggles, fears, and emotions. They may have not been approachable, understanding, caring, or supportive. Maybe they were absent, controlling, toxic, scary, or fierce. Subconsciously, at times, we approach God the same way. Nonetheless, I want to assure you today that our Heavenly Father is different. He is perfect, just, true, faithful, merciful, loving, all-knowing, wise, and an ever-present help in times of trouble. He is THE BEST.
Bring your worries, struggles, and concerns to Him. He can handle it. He longs to be close to you and have intimacy with you. He wants to work in your life and fashion you for His glory. Like clay in the hands of a potter, surrender to Him today. Pursue Him wholeheartedly and allow His love to shine forth.
It is okay to feel exhausted, frustrated, angry, sad, confused, or numb. These feelings are normal in times of pain and grief. Your emotions are valid and understandable. It is wise and good to seek help and support during times of need. However, when heartache, tragedy, or turmoil knock at your door, you are not alone. You have the Holy Spirit within you. The Holy Spirit comforts, advocates, helps, guides, teaches, convicts, empowers, equips, intercedes, sanctifies, and strengthens you.
You have God’s Word. The living Word of God transforms, sets free, edifies, builds character, produces change, increases faith, corrects, trains, renews, grants wisdom, restores, refreshes, and reveals God’s nature.
You have an eternal hope. You can have confidence, peace, and assurance because your Redeemer is alive and victorious. His love is powerful and true. Your hope is in Jesus. Like the title of my memoir: Your story isn’t over yet! There is more for you in life. God is not finished with you.
I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” Lamentations 3:20-24 (NLT)
So, dare to hope today. Write it in your journal, stick it next to your bed, put it on your fridge, pin it on a board, text it to a friend, post it on social media, get a bumper sticker, print it on a T-shirt, say it to someone, and most importantly, remind yourself: DARE TO HOPE!
{If you enjoyed this blog post, you might also like this episode of The Love Offering Podcast, where Rachael chats with Dawn Mann Sanders author of When Your World Ends: God’s Creative Process for Rebuilding a Life. Whether you’re experiencing heartbreak or simply seeking encouragement in a challenging season, this episode will remind you of God’s faithfulness and His power to create something new out of even the darkest moments. You can listen to the episode here.}
About the Author:
Grace Valentine Gagnon is an old soul who wears her heart on her sleeve, and she is a living testimony of God’s mercy and goodness. Born and raised in Singapore, Grace lived two years in Uganda as a missionary. She also travelled the world as a flight attendant and lived seven years in Dubai. Grace loves singing, writing, talking, making a difference, and playing hand drums. She now lives in Canada with her beautiful family, loving Jesus, empowering others, and touching lives one day at a time!
Connect with Grace:
