Even when I walk through the darkest valley . . . you are with me. — Psalm 23:4, NIV
In March 2020—When I was sick of headaches, horrible sleep, and feeling anxious all the time—I shouted a desperate prayer: “Jesus, I can’t do this anymore!” I knew then that the next several days were going to be very different. I wasn’t sure what a life without my nightly wine would look like or how my social life would be affected, but I knew I was ready to feel better. And if anyone could pull me off the nightly wine merry-go-round, it was Jesus.
Even though I had grown up in church, it had been years since I’d had a proper relationship with God. I knew He was there, but my drinking had created a divide between us. However, in that moment of clarity, when I knew I’d had enough, I knew He was the one to cry out to.
At that time, I didn’t have one friend who didn’t drink. Not one. I remember telling a dear friend that I was taking a break from drinking, and one of the first things she said was, “You’re going to need a whole new set of friends.”
I felt alone. I felt scared. Wine was my ultimate reward. It was my treat at the end of the day. It was the thing that made everything more fun and made the unenjoyable stuff tolerable. I didn’t know how I’d get through. So let me encourage you, babe. Even if you feel alone, you are not alone. You are not the only one thinking about drinking less.
A recent study showed that 52 percent of adult Americans are trying to reduce their alcohol intake. That’s over half the country. I’d be willing to bet that every person you know has questioned their drinking at one point or another, even if it’s just, I shouldn’t have that second glass. Most women desire to drink less because they know deep down it doesn’t make them feel great. If you want proof that drinking is slowly going out of fashion, look to Gen Z. A study in 2018 reported 28 percent of college students said they didn’t drink alcohol, which is up from the 20 percent reported in 2002.
A 2022 article in Vogue observes: “Has everyone stopped drinking? It certainly feels that way. Over the last year, dozens of my former cocktailers-in-arms have leaped onto the wagon for insufferably sensible aims like preserving their marriages or their health—or at least for an extended annual reset in Dry January or Sober October.” You can’t be alone in this if even Vogue recognizes the health trend, right?
We also see the trend showing up in the number of nonalcoholic beverage sales. According to data from the International Wine and Spirit Research Company, the market value of the no-and low-alcohol category exceeded a staggering $11 billion in 2022, a significant jump from $8 billion in 2018. This shift in consumer preference has also drawn the attention of celebrities such as Katy Perry, Kylie Minogue, and Bella Hadid, who have all ventured into the nonalcoholic beverage market by launching their own products.
If you’ve been out to a restaurant lately, you’ve likely seen mocktail menus offered alongside standard alcoholic drinks menus.
So even if you feel like you’re the only one in your group of friends, your PTA, or your church thinking about changing their relationship with alcohol, I want you to know that you’re not alone. The tide is turning, and more and more women are trying to drink less.
Journey with Jesus
Most importantly, you are not alone because you’ve got Jesus. He is with you here right now as you’re reading this. As Paul wrote in Romans 5:3– 4, “We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Yes, this may be hard, but it also might change your life and teach you incredible lessons about how God can show up for you. As soon as I asked Him to help me, to be with me, and to go on this journey with me, I didn’t feel alone anymore. The power of the Holy Spirit gives us peace that surpasses our understanding (Philippians 4:7, ESV).
God also has a plan for you. He already knows how this journey is going to turn out for you. It may just bring you closer to God and your family, as it did for me.
Invite Him to join you on this journey. Take a minute to say a simple prayer and ask Him for wisdom, strength, and direction. Go on, close your eyes real quick and do this now.
Set a Feelings-Based Goal
In the beginning stages of my own alcohol fast, I asked myself one question each morning: How do I want to feel today?
Almost everything we do, we do to feel a certain way. We buy new shoes because of the way we’ll feel wearing them. Even certain tasks we may not want to do, like filing our taxes or going to the dentist, give us the feeling of being financially secure and healthy. It’s much easier to adjust our behavior when we know how we want to feel. Remember when I told you about my gluten experiment? My goal wasn’t to cut out gluten forever but to feel better and see if cutting out gluten would help.
You may have a goal of drinking less, but I urge you to reframe your goal into a feelings-based one. For instance, you might aspire to feel better, achieve better sleep, or have more energy. By adopting this approach, your goal becomes about enhancing your well-being rather than simply depriving yourself. It also allows for clear measurement, as you’ll know when you’ve achieved your goal. If you’re feeling better, that’s a clear win. However, if your goal solely revolves around drinking “less,” it can be challenging to determine what “less” truly means. Let’s shift our focus to the power of feeling better.
This is adapted from “Love Life Sober” by Christy Osborne Copyright Love© 2024; September 24, 2024 / ISBN: 9780593600733; Published by WaterBrook, an imprint of Penguin Random House, LLC. Used by permission.
{If you enjoyed this blog post, you might also like this episode of The Love Offering Podcast, where Rachael chats with Caroline Fausel about discovering what it takes to live a healthy, fulfilled life and create a thriving home environment. Caroline’s passion for empowering women to live with purpose and joy shines through her book and this conversation. You can listen to the episode here.}
About the Author:
Christy Osborne is a double-certified sobriety coach, author of Love Life Sober, and co-founder of the But Jesus Drank Wine podcast and community.
