“Teacher, can I help?”
I look up from sweeping the floor. My three-year-old daycare buddy looks up at me with her big, brown eyes expectantly. My first reaction is to say no, the teacher wants to get things cleaned up quickly, but I stop myself.
“Sure. Let’s get a broom for you.”
I grab the child-sized broom from the closet, and we work together. A job that should’ve taken a few minutes takes three times as long. But this moment matters more than getting things done.
She asks to help wash the windows, so we grab a paper towel, soak it with water, and she carefully rubs the window over and over. I’ll wash it again later, I tell myself, before quickly telling my buddy that licking the window is not how we clean the window.
I watch my buddy squish the water from her paper towel onto the window, wipe it up, and squish the towel again. I smile, but a familiar ache claws at my heart.
My childhood dream was to be a wife and mother. I didn’t expect to still find myself working in a daycare two years after college, my dreams unfulfilled. I’ve watched many of my peers move forward to new seasons of life, while my restless heart wonders what to do next, where to go next, and anxiously asks why my dreams aren’t my reality. I’d thought I’d be a stay-at-home mom with three children by now, but instead I’m working to care for other people’s children and wrestling with how to hold joy and longing in the same breath.
But in this moment, I feel the Lord’s love quiet my heart and remind me that this is what I was created to do. I was created to nurture and to love big. I may not be a mama to my own children, but for a few hours every day I get to mother many children, to nurture them, to celebrate new milestones, to kiss boo boos, to encourage good character growth, and to take joy in their precious lives.
Maybe you have an unfulfilled dream in your life: a desire for marriage, children, acceptance to a certain college, or a job promotion. Or maybe you’ve prayed for healing for many years, and that healing hasn’t come. Perhaps you’ve read Psalm 37:4, that if we delight in the Lord, He will give us our hearts’ desires, and wondered if God forgot about your desire.
But maybe the Lord is doing something in you and me that’s even better than our wildest dreams. What if He’s answering our prayers differently than we imagined? What if in the waiting there is a fulfilling happening of something greater for us? Will we continue to delight in Him and praise Him, even if His working in us looks different than we dreamed?
Psalm 113:9 (ESV)
“He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!”
As I watch my buddy wash the window, peace settles in my heart. I don’t know what the future holds for me; it may be marriage and motherhood. It may not. But I do know that my good Father is fulfilling my dreams in ways I never expected. And because of that I will choose to praise the Lord and trust that His dreams for me are for my good and His glory.
About the Author:
Kelsey Gjesdal is the founder of Kelsey Lee Writes LLC and host of the Wholeheartedly with Kelsey Lee podcast. She is the author of the Truth Squad Trilogy and A Woman of Excellence: A Four-Week Study through the Book of Ruth and Proverbs 31. Through fiction and nonfiction writing and podcasting, Kelsey seeks to encourage Gen-Z to live wholeheartedly for Christ. When she’s not writing and podcasting, you’ll find her working at a local pregnancy resource center, serving in her church’s children’s ministry, playing music, or reading a book with a cup of coffee in hand. She resides in the beautiful state of Oregon.
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