I sat in the ashes with the broken pieces of what I thought would bring me happiness and fulfillment.
By shattering my greatest dream in this period of my life, God shattered my heart, but not with the intent to destroy it. He aimed to mend it and re-direct it. Every shattered piece, every debris, needed to be cleaned, re-shaped, and then put together again by the God of restoration.
One large broken piece was my search for happiness. I had made my dream of becoming a mother a condition for a fulfilled life.
Becoming a mother had turned into an idol. My beautiful dream had morphed into an ugly monster called controlling desire. In the center of my thoughts and aspirations was not God (although I wanted him), but the idol of motherhood.
There was not a day, an hour, in at least five years in my life, when I had not thought about this. This desire was the filter through which I perceived everything. It dictated my value, happiness, and peace. The fulfillment of this dream was my chief motivation and driving force for a long time. It blinded me and controlled me.
How could you know that something has turned into an idol?
You can know this by the space it occupies in your heart and mind. If it takes all the space and you can’t imagine having a life without this thing or person, then you are in serious trouble.
God is a jealous God who is at war with the idols in our hearts. Sadly, even something as good and beautiful as a dream can turn into an idol and rob us of our freedom and peace.
In the process of chasing my dream, I proudly believed I could control the world and guarantee the fulfillment of my wishes one way or another. This, of course, was a deception. I refused to take a “no” for an answer and didn’t give God the right to answer my wishes and prayers as he desired. I didn’t acknowledge him as God and ruler of my life.
God tenderly took this broken piece of my dream and laced it with the truth. He and only he is the giver and author of genuine satisfaction, fulfillment, and abundant life.
Once I thought being a biological mother was the missing piece that would give me a sense of being successful in life, of having value. But this was a false foundation for my identity.
I held a broken piece of misplaced identity in my hands, but God took it and gave me another piece, made from solid, unbreakable rock. I am his and he is mine. Nothing and nobody can change that.
“For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s” (Rom. 14:8, NIV).
Adapted with permission from “Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings,” Calla Press Publishing, https://a.co/d/gWfmBE3.
About the Author:
Hadassah Treu is an award-winning bilingual author, blogger, poet, speaker, and contributor to several faith-based platforms and a dozen award-winning devotionals and poetry anthologies. She is passionate about encouraging people to draw near to God in the dark valleys of life. Hadassah is a COMPEL Provers 31 Blog writer and Freelancing Community Group leader. Her writing is featured on (In)Courage, The Upper Room, Proverbs 31 Ministries, Her View From Home, Living by Design Ministries, Thoughts About God, Today’s Christian Living, and other popular sites. She is the author of „Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings.”
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Book link: https://a.co/d/gWfmBE3
